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London

Can't believe it's been almost a month since my latest adventure! After a very early start it was a short bus ride and very pleasant� train journey with a lovely older lady who sat opposite me, I almost swallowed my puzzler when I first saw her, as she was the spitting image of my dead granny.! Hmmm, after several family swapping conversations and rude stares from me, we were there! Right in the centre of London. Kings Cross, I'd seen it on the T.V. before but not paid much attention to it, and there I was bustling along the road with my wheelie case feeling quite at home. The Hotel was just a stones throw away which was amazing.

Gosh, where do I start? The Hotel was lovely, The words..."3rd Floor"! upset me slightly when it was followed by "no lift",� but hey! I was determined to have a good time. The room was very small but had its own bathroom and large fan on a shelf with its own remote control, which my wonderful other half had great amusement with,almost freezing me to death! or catching my hair as I walked past. Oh the Romance!

The extra digital channels went down well, home from home with me getting nowhere near that remote either! lol� I'm convinced the bathroom door had the biggest spring in the world attached to it, which was a huge battle to get in and out safely, also a great source of amusement for the person watching the struggle! lol

We headed to Covent Garden then on to camden on the first night. I kinda ended up rather plastered in The Hawley Arms. No sign of Kate Moss or Amy Winehouse though! To be honest, they could've been there, but I was too smashed to have noticed. I did meet a rather Interesting guy sitting next to me at the bar who was quite coy about his band, playing down their success. The Band are called King Lizard and this rather charming guy was called Niro Knox.�

I do, however remember having a debate with him about his hair colour and giving him, and the barmen a hard time about not knowing who Patsy Cline was! Typical drunk me! The Ladies Loos are downstairs and after being shown the way, I found myself climbing an endless amount of stairs trying to find my way back to the bar, when I wandered in to the Top Bar, where apparently, I found out afterwards, It's where the Celebs go! or as another lovely chap called Ben so lovingly pointed out, when I got back to my seat "All the saddo's hoping to spot a celeb go there aswell!" I took a bit of a teasing as you can imagine!

I hope that nobody, famous or not, remembers my little outburst when I staggered in, trying to get my breath back after all those stairs, cursing and whinging "Noooooo", "I Don't wanna be here!". "Where is the other bar"? Oh the shame!

Tuesday was spent sightseeing all day which was rather impressive considering I had crawled up the hotel stairs the night before! We took in all the sights and thoroughly enjoyed our boat trip on the Thames, made even more special by the scorching sunshine that had surrounded us the whole day. Wednesday was a magical trip to Harrods. I was made to feel really special and it was so nice. The afternoon was spent wandering around the Camden Markets. Another good day.

The Tube was the one thing I thought would terrify me, with past events etc, but everyone seemed to be watching everyone else and I felt a sense of Immense togetherness there. It was so fast, I felt like I was transported into another world every time we arrived at a new station!

I found London Fabulous, Interesting, Intriguing, Clean and Fast, very, very, Fast, even the birds were in a hurry! which was totally bizarre. Everyone was either on a mobile phone or attached to an mp3 player!. I am so pleased that I went and experienced another way of life. It wasn't like anything� I'd ever Imagined before.

They always say that you will see at least one famous person in London, Well I saw Zandra Rhodes and Ash from the X Factor (you know the cute guy with the big hair?) but my claim to fame was� rather unbelievable.....almost walking right In to a T.V. camera crew filming a kids programme with 3ft orange haired trolls! So when you see the stupid looking,grinning� woman pointing and laughing, carrying an enormous Great Britain bag at the traffic lights....you can smile, cos that'll be me! lol. xx

Introduction to a photoblog

today on my way home from dinner with my family.. as i sat in the back seat of my car... i was thinking about all my problems.. i could almost hear the background music they put in movies when the girl fights with the guy and they both look out the window at the rain.... so i started thinking... and none of that is true... so many lives end everyday without a happy ending... the stories in popular romantic songs are not true...life is just not like that... ever since i was little movies like cindirella and other disney productions have had me thinking that no matter what happens love always finds a way... and that it is so full of great surprises.. well at least the last part is true. except that the surprises are not always good ones... actually they are almost always terrible... and prince charming is dead... and chivalry died with him.. men in our generation expect to get a maid when they start a relationship.. at the beginning they can�t get enough of you... the little by little they start to show the real side of them... and let me tell you its not pretty.. my boyfriend and i (yes we�re still together) are gonna be 5 years old as acouple.. in may... and now.. i know men are jerks.... and most of the reason that life is not�a fairy tale is because of them.. all girls expect to find a prince waiting for them.. and all the guy needs to do is make that simple wish come true.. is it too much to ask for a guy to open the door for us... to hug us and give us their jacket when we�re cold... to kiss our pains gently away.. i think not... and its hard enough trying to keep the flame alive while the guy is being a total jerk sitting infront of the tv. watching football� withough them treating us so bad.... i for one. plan not to cry for a guy ever againn.. imagine.. if he treats me bad NOW... imagine if we got MARRIED!!!�

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I eny every single person in the world that is happy. Weather they are rich, poor, sucessful, unsucessful, tall, short, fat, thin, white, black, american, french, I don't care I eny them all. I am jealous that every one around me knows how to laugh and smile. I am jealous of everyone that can sleep at night and wake in the morning. I am jealous of them all. Today my dad told me that happiness is (in a sense) almost "unreachable." That as you get older it gets harder and harder to come by. That when you grow up things start to control your life for you and those "things" create your happiness. Well if that is the truth that what in the hell is the point of living? From all of this I have learned a very valuable lesson a very hard way... I have learned what happiness is. I have learned that it isNOT bigger, better, farther, recongized, sucessful, rich, old, wise, beautiful.. Nohappeness is none of those things. Happiness is the fall leaves you see when you look outyour OWN back window, when you sleep in yourOWN bed, whenu laugh without trying and smile because you want to. Happiness is those friendsin the pictures that you stare at forever, it is the smell of homecooked food in the oven, its thehug thatholdsu tight andnever lets go, and its the kiss that makesyou feel special forever, Happiness is not hard, it is not jealous, and it does not eny... Happiness is unreachable.

I pretend to be strong,
when in reality,
I am dying inside.
But I have to be strong,
for my family...at least,
that's what I tell myself.
If I am not strong for them
then who will be?

I want to start blogging this year about my weight problem, i don't know wich bloggs are out there, I think would be good journal everyday what i do, I eat, my progress etc,

god is up to his work again! i am sooo happy that i have let god take control of my life now and i dont have to stress about everything in my life, life is too short to worry about things that are not in your control. sometimes you need to just let things happen how they are ment to happen and just trust that things will turn out ok. i have learned alot about myself in the past year and i am happy to say that i think that i have grown alot, some people amy say that they really dont think that i changed all that much to them but i can see it in myself and if others cant see it then that is on them, i haev learned that you can tworry about what others think of you and what others precieve you as because the only thing that matters is that you see yourself as a good person and you love youself as you are. im am becoming a much happier person and i am looking forward to everythiugn that is going to come in my life in the next couple of years or months or just even days!

well we will see what happens!
till next time!

Job Corps: The Journey
October 13, 2007

Well, today is Saturday and I am only a few more days away from leaving for Job Corps. I have been spending all week running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to not only get ready to leave, but also to spend time with my family and friends. I went to my college group The Way for the last time last night. I am sure gonna miss everybody there. It has seriously been a huge blessing to go to a church I finally feel like I belong at. I admit that while I am very excited about the prospect of going out on this new adventure that is taking place very soon, I am also saddened by the realization that I really AM leaving everyone and everything I know and love behind to pursue this. You could say I am literally leaving my "comfort zone" behind.

I recognize all of those feelings that I know are there, but I also find that for some reason I have not actually FELT them. It confuses me to see and know what I should feel but yet actually don't, at least not right now. My guess would be that while I can see the reality all around me, the concept of it all hasn't actually sunk in quite yet. Why that is, I don't know, but I do know that when it finally does then I will feel it for sure.

With it already being 12:52pm, the only real thing I've got going today is I am going to go visit my dad and stepmom at 4ish for dinner, games, talking and shooting pool. If I have time, I will also most likely attempt to get myself somewhat organized with everything I am packing because right now my room is an absolute disaster zone. Not to downsize or insult Hurricane Katrina, but you could say that my room looks roughly it's equal. In other words: it's pretty bad even for me.

I've got a pretty busy day tomorrow as well. Church in the morning, followed by ice skating with an old friend from high school I haven't seen in 2 years and dinner at 5pm with my mom and stepdad. I have never been this busy before in my life, but at least once I get back around Christmas break I will have some time to hang out at home and just chill. I will probably write more once I get there and settled a bit. Until then, farewell!

-K.R.E.

This is the first time I have ever done any kind of an online journal. There are a few things I wish to do in this journal.
1. I want to write about 3 things that made me happy that day.
2. I want to plan a future for myself, I have so many dreams but no motivation. I am hoping having these dreams down on paper will help to get me there.
3. I want to teach myself to control my temper and my mouth when I get upset. I want my relationship with Drew to be as great as I can make it.
I think the only thing that will hold me back from doing these things is actually doing it. I want to be better for so many reasons but mostly for her. I never thought she would do this to me but it is amazing. It has taking so much for us to get here but what can I say....you have to work for something good...and she is definately good.

Today i talked to my friends, at lunch, and one of my friends was being mean to me, i didn't know what to say, i was like omg! why is he doing this to me, does he know that i like him as a boyfriend? does he know that i really want to kiss him? what else does he know??? I wish that someday that he can be nice to me, i just don't understand, i just don't! i wish that i love him more then anything in the world, but god is first! I love god, but i love my friend sooo much. I just can't do this alone... i mean i just want to talk to him abt what going on with him... I just wanted to! but MAYBE he likes me? :$.. i'm just worried that he might not like me back. i like alot of ppl. but hes the right 1. because we have alot in commons! i'm serious! i swear! thx to all to my friend!