Now you are the enemy...
�Song for me and you
You left with out a goodbye
And now I cant help but wonder why...
My heart is lost in a puddle of tears
So now I have no choice but to face my fears...
With everyday that passes bye
I wonder how I bought those lies...
How could you ever do this to me?
I never thought you would be the enemy...
If only I had known what was to come
Then maybe I wouldn’t be so dumb...
Soon I will let you go away
I probably should have a while 'go...
Unlike those childhood fairytales
This one ends in betrayal...
i raelly miss him so much do u ever get over the loss of someone u love so much??? i should have never gotten married in the first place before i dealt with the loss of jon i loved him more than anything and we were happy together then all my happiness and joy was stolen from me when jon tragicaly commited suicide. i don't think it ever get's easier although people try to tell u it does i just wish it didn't hurrt sooo bad but hopefully someday i can get over all the pain and the hurt and the feelings� of how he'll never get to see his daughter god please help me i miss him sooooo much he's always in my thoughts and i always wonder what might have been !!! does the pain ever stop??? should i have gotten some kind of grief counceling??? now how do i tell his daughter about him the daughter he wanted more than anything and the daughter he never knew he had because i found out i was pregnant 3 weeks after his funeral i reallly and trully wanted to die from the pain of loosing him and even though it's been since dec 03 since he died it's still not any easier i love jon soooooooooooo much someone help me please im going crazy i should love my husband lke he loves me but i can't why why cant i love him the way he's meant to be loved is it because i can't let go and go on??????????????
Alrighty, so I'm not quite sure what to say. *Looks Around* I guess a good way to start off is by introducing myself, aye? Well my name is Natasha. I'm bittersweet sixteen. Yes, I actually have my license. Now all that's missing is a car. And a job too! *Nods* I'm engaged to a wonderful girl named Chelsey. She's the corn on my cob. *Giggles* Haha! Yeah... I also have a strange obsession with corn. Oh! I love writing stories. That's sort of how I became obsessed with corn because I wrote a story where the main character was corn-obsessed. *Nods* It's still my favorite story. Hehe! I love singing too. I'm in Concert Choir at my highschool. I'm a Junior by the way. Haha! In Concert Choir I'm a Soprano 2. I actually wanted to be a 2nd. I pretty much requested it. Haha! Soprano 1's may be number 1. But 1 + 1 equals 2, thus making Soprano 2's better. Haha! Also, I like rebelling from the Soprano part. Hehe! Yes... that's how I put it! Haha!
I have 20 diary-ish things. Why? I want to test out some sites and then I'll pick a few that offer the most and are most inviting. If something doesn't offer much, why waste time updating on it? So if you randomly see me disappear, make sure to check my last entry, because I will post where you can still read my blog/journal/diary/what[corn]ever at. Also, I'm posting the same entry at each site. Of course, if some sites have more things to offer, I may put more stuff up. I'll post the other websites later that I'll be at. *Smiles*
Some people say I'm funny. Yes, yes, quite. Honestly, I'm not sure whether I am... or not! I am amusing however, if I do say so myself. I'm, pretty much, a drama queen. Just ignore that. Also, I love ranting, rambling, and all that fun stuff. Especially about fashion! You'll see those from time to time. Feel free to comment. Hmm... but if you leave a rude comment (or one that I just don't like) I will not let others see it. What's that called where you filter the media? I'm having a brain fart now. Is it capitalism? I remember talking about it... back in 9th grade, I believe. Haha!
Let's see... what else can I say? Oh! I speak French! *Nods* Well... I speak some French. I'm not fluent. Haha! But, I have been to Paris! This summer I went and we were in Paris about... oh... a week or 8 days, I'd guess. C'est fantastique! Oui? Haha! So randomly if I talk in French... it's okay. Ce n'est pas de probleme. Also, I know I'm lacking accent marks. Pardon me on that. I'm not going to figure out how to get it to work for each journal. I'll learn over time. Haha!
Anyway, I think that's about it for this entry. Trust me, there will be more to come. I can't promise one daily, but I do promise them. *Nods* I'll talk to ya'll later! Ciao! Ya'll come back, ya hear? Haha! Sorry... I just had to... *Giggles*
~Natasha
Other ways to possibly reach me:
Email: TremblingAngel@Yahoo.com
AIM: EvilCornLady
Yahoo: TremblingAngel
MSN: TremblingAngel@Yahoo.com [I'm not sure if this one would work...]
My Myspace: TremblingAngel (www.myspace.com/tremblingangel) [Add me, if you please! *Grins* I also update these journals {or whatever} there.]
I guess everything is changing, and I dunno what I think about any of this. I feel betrayed by friends, and a lot of things are frustrated me. I guess becoming close with new people, cause the old ones to start drifting.. I can't really write much on here, I feel like I can't even trust a personal website, where you're suppose to write everything. I feel like not many people can be trusted anymore, and let alone something like this. It is so annoying how shitty and low people will go, just for someone else. I guess this isn't even entirely about me, well actually very little of it is. I see one of my new really close friends, constantly being betrayed by a lot of people, and I relized how shitty people are now of days. How they will do anything, just to make them feel superior, when really it makes you shittier then the person before you. So many people are like this now, so many people suck at being a good friends, and good friends seem really impossible to find. I am so glad, that I now keep my guard up a lot more then I use to. I don't know what I would do, if every day passed and I had to worry about someone betraying me. It doesn't seem to matter how close you are anymore, because everyone seems to just love to do it, and its happened more then it should have to me in the past.
It feels like love is just another form of suicide. my friend wrote that on a desk in science class and other girls responded. LOVE IS JUST A WASTE IF U DONT EVEN HAVE A BOYFRIEND.....when will i ever get a boyfriend who understnads me and cares about me....i cant even wear make-up till im 16! or even date! So i think guys are wasted on me...