Gemma

Oct 2007
8:03 PM BST

I had no idea how long i havent written on this for!!
In my last entry i didnt relise when i had left bennys party .. ryan pulled sophie watts.
OUCH!!
we parted for less than a week, then i took him back.
Everyone thinks im an idiot for doing soo .. but im inlove with him ..!
My decision i suppose .. although already im beginning to regrett it. Everytime i think about it... i get a pain that feels like im being stabbed in the chest!!!
I can't live like that all the time. Im only 15!

Anyways on a brighter note ... me and mika are doing very well! .. he came to rosies house wiv ollie last monday (half term) .. and we had soo much fun!!
He has admitted a few times that he really 'likes' me .. and although i think hes REALLY HOT!!!! ... i dnt want to do anything about it whilst im goin out wiv ryan cuz i kno exactly how itl feel for him!!! =[
being cheated on sucks!

im off ..ox

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Sep 2007
4:32 PM BST

mmmm ... im eating homemade egg fried rice!! .. yumyum! lol

Yesterdayy i went to see my ryaann =] .. we had much fun .. we took his new doggy for a walk (he got her that very morning) .. shes called rosie! .. and then we went bk to his to watch a film! .. i love spending time wiv him .. now weneva im around him i feel really relaxed and comfortable =]

... anyways, after ryans i came home then went to katees! ... i dropped off my sleepover stuff there then me rose katee and rhianna all walkd to beavis's! ... we had a few drinks there and stayed there until about 9:45... and then we went to the fair!!

Here dad picked us up at 10:30 ... and he cud tell we had been drinkn, and cud smell the fags on us!! .. .. woops! .. i think kate got in sum trouble for that todayy!!

Anyway, so now im extremly tired and have the worst headache everrr!!! lol

Im happy though cuz iv got my egg fried ricee =]

Tags: fairrr

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Sep 2007
7:07 PM BST

Ahhh todaayss beeen sooo amazing!!!!

This morning when i woke up .. usally time, i did my usally stuff and got to school! ... ryan wasnt really avoiding me .. but i noticed he cudn't look at me .. which upset me abit... and then at break time he didnt come talk to me at all!! .. not even a hello!!!! .. i was sooo annoyd!! .. I lookd over at him, to see him standing in a MASSIVE groupof girls .. probs having a gd old flirt! .. which pissed me off evenmore!!

Thenn .. at lunch, he turned up by our group .. i jst lookd at him then turned the other way! .. then he came u behind me and gav me a hug .. i was like .. oh .. 'heey' ... lol! We started chatting, then b4 i knew it i was laughin! .. he jst makes me soo happy .. i really dnt know how he dus it!! .. no matter how pissed off i am wiv him ... he jst always puts a smile on my face!! =]=]!

.. anyway ... end of lunch came quicklyy, and i said my goodbyes too him.

R.E

English

END OF SCHOOL!! .. woo! lol

I came out of the wilson block and meet up wiv rosie liam and jamie (bikeshed buddies!! woo!! lol) ... and then lookd around to see cally ryan jo and sam mc all stood at the exit .. for me? .. i was like .. huh .. wats goin on!! .. ryan lookd really upset, and i didnt know what he was guna say .. but he pushed me away form the rest of them and said ...

'gemma .. will yoo go bk out wiv me!' ... and i just went ' Yaaayy .. i didnt fink ud ever ask .. i didnt fink u wantd me anymore!!' .. and he replied noo .. and hugged me really tight!!

soooo now im jst really happy and really hyper!! .. and i need ot go watchn him footy trainning soon .. soo im gna goo!!

TOODLES!
xxxxxxxxx

Tags: yippeeee

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Sep 2007
5:14 PM BST

... AUUURRGHHH! ...

Well .. that ... has to bee the shittest day of my life!!!

Me and ryan have be seperated 6days .. and iv alredy caught him bumming some other girl!! ... Lovely to watch!! ... worst thing is .. this girl was supposedly my friend .. and in her words .. 'know exactly how i feel' ... well how dus she fink it feels watchn ur ex boyfriend .. hu yoo stil like VERY veryy .. much!! ... flirting wiv your close friend hu i fort was gd for advice and for talkn to about to situation!!! ... i can't believe!!

Wel .. anyways .. iv deffinately screwed up this time!! .. my last words to him wer ... 'BYEEE .. YA FAGGOT!!' ... woopsie .. maybe i went a lil over the top wiv the foggot bit!! .. i was told that wen he went back over wiv his group .. it looked like he was about to cry!

Ahhhhhhhh shoooott!!!!!!!!! I dnt believe this! .. i always muck things up in the relationships i have!! .. i take after my bloody mother!!

Just wen im angreyy and full of rage .. i hav to let something out!! .. i hav to say sumit .. no matter how horrible it may be!!!!

GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

I hate everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its soo fucked!!!!!!!

Tags: Shittest day of my life!

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1 comment(s) - 08:22 AM - 02/19/2008

Sep 2007
6:09 PM BST

Well, this is my first entry!!

I don't know if anyone is actually reading this ... but I've had fun trying this new thing out .. so it doesn't bother me if noone does or not.

I suppose I'm just living the typical teenage life really! .. in my mind it goes abit like this ..

Boys

Exams

Boys

Friends

Boys

Appearance

Boys

chocolate!!

But then again .. doesn't every other teenagers!

I would say my teen years have been that tough, well not compared to other peoples! .. but last year I got myself in with the wrong crowd and had threatens to be beaten up and stuffs! .. that wasn't fun! .. and then I got aload more crap from other people because I cheated on 'Tom' (my present boyfriend at the time) .. i wasn't liked much after that! .. and I had all sorts of rumours going round about me. I lost alot of my friends through that.

But now .. its a new school year, and everything is back on track! .. well all my friends and school work is getting on alot better!! ... but the boys side of things ... well .. thats not too good!!!

You see last year, there was this boy I was absoulty crazy about!! .. head over heels about!! .. which was kind of bad as I had some other boyfriend at the time.. 'Jamie'.

Jamie could clearly see that I liked this guy ...'Ryan England' ... and decided he didn't want to be with me whilst I liked someone else .. which is fair enough really.

Anyway a year and another boyfriend later, I was single again! .. I still liked Ryan (alot) but what could I do? .. i knew for a fact that he didn't like me! We had always been friends though.

... until one day ... I went to a party (cesca's) .. and Ryan just happened to be there. We were sat on the trampoline outside together with every1 else just laughing and chattting, and I noticed the way he kept hugging me and smiling at me! .. which made me very happy!! .. at abut 9:30ish .. its started to get cold, and we all went in to sing happy birthday to Cesca. Ryan came up behind me and put his arms around my waist. I turned around to look at him ... and .. yeeh .. we had a loongg (lush) romantic kiss!!! .. reallyy wasn't expected at all! lol .. but I'm not complainning! .. and anyways after that we became an item .. and we were together a long time. I actually made myself think that he was the one! He was the one that I fancied the pants off, and I got him! .. who else could I possibly want more?! ...

Until one day, I realised I couldn't look him in the eye anymore and tell him that I Loved him, I felt like I was lying to him!! .. I got myself soo confused!! .. I didn't understand!!! I decided it would be best for both of us to go on a break whilst I got my head sorted out!! ... anyways .. later on that week I soon realised that was one BIIGGGG mistake!! .. and me being my foolish self, didn't even think about how this may have affected Ryan!! .. he thought I didn't love him anymore .. which wasn't totally true! .. I still reaally liked him!!! ..

Anyway, a week later he asked me to meet him down the park because there was something he needed to tell me..... and yes, you've guessed it. He wanted to break up with me. (for good) .. I didn't understand at first! .. and instead of crying, and just went speachless. I couldn't say anything!! .... it felt like someone had just shoved an iron pole down my throat!! .... I tried to make out that I felt the same way about the decision, and that i was totally fine with it all.. (which i really wasn't!!!!!)

I couldn't understand .. and 5 days on ... I still don't ... I know I still love him!! .. but I don't know how he feels back anymore!! .. hes still texting mee .... LOADS! .. which makes things even more confusing!!

AHHH I NEED TO MAKE UP MY MIND OF WHAT I'M GOING TO DOO!!!!

HEEELPPPP!!

Tags: Teenage life

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Username: MyTeenageFairytale

Gender / Age: Female, 32

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About Me: I would like to think of myself as .. young, wild, fun .. and daring! I love trying new things and meeting new people. Although I can get imbarrest easily and may come across shy, I am actually very loud!! I suppose to really I'm abit of a romantic aswel. I love to watch romantic films and all that shizzle!

Interests: Meeting up with friends, girl nights out! .. spending time with The Boyfriend! lol =] Although I love to be out and about, I do love to sit in and write down my thoughts and feelings in my room and get all my emotions out! .. and i personally find it easiest to let them out on paper!

Favorite Music: Errmm I love all types really!! .. they vary from ... My chemcial romance to Akon! lol But anything dancable really .. and i Loooooveee long songs and shizzle! (I'm abit strange! =P) .. favourite song at the moment has to be 'What hurts the most' .. its friggin immense!

Favorite Movies: Ermm romantic onees .. or horrors! .. dnt like action or sci-fi!! .. they're all shite! http://myspace.mytheme.com/myspace-background/107714-10815537935804.gif

Favorite Television: Neighbours, Eastenders, Hollyoaks ermm the simpsons .. ooh and the Jeremy Kyle show!! .. loove it!! .. and the x factor .. thats greeat!

Favorite Books: Ermm autobiographys are my favourites .. but i love classic love stories aswel!

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