Wow my parents are awful, this morning it was go ahead and get your laptop for college and this evening it is i dont want to spend any more money on computers what's your problem!

What's all that about!!! Now thanks to her not wanting to spend money i can't afford to go to college till next year! Way to go mom! make me never graduate and annoy me to the point of going insane....

i am so stressed out between babysitting,working, cleaning, running the house,and trying to get in a couple of hours of study� i can't take it anymore. and on top of it all she won't allow me to move out or get a college loan! This is total cabin fever like. I don't know what i'm going to do about it all.... I mean what do i do? i'm cornered in awful cercumstances� with no way out in site. Plus living in this house and sharing a bedroom with everyone is driving me nuts!

Well maybe i'll elaborate on this subject later but right now i need to let off some steam....

This is my first ride with this group.

I think I must be the dumbest person of earth! Seriously! I gave in. I went back home and let him back in. And I shouldn't have done it so easily but I did. It's hard to let someone you love go and even harder to watch them go down the wrong path. I can't watch him do this and not help him. It's a sad thing really!

Even more sad is the fact that he has the checkbook. I am SO taking them from his truck and his safe when he doesn't know it. I can't have him overdrawing our account all the time because he's not responsible enough or doesn't care enough to check the balance! So now this is the second or third time he has overdrawn our account! How can he do this? Go out and spend it on beer and drugs! It makes me so damn angry! I am stopping direct deposit to that account and putting it into WaMu! Damn it! UUUGGHH! Or maybe I'll open myself up a second account! That is exactly what i'll do! right now! online! later, got stuff to do!

Have you ever wondered how someone can give life to someone and never think twice about what will become of that child? never call to say "I love you" or even to say Hi, you are going to regret all the things that will haunt your dreams of being a loser.. a deadbeat dad..

I guess that's because you have no shame. no morals, no dignity..... what a shame to waste so much good air on sch a piece$&^* well I guess I should thank you for giving me the one thing inlife that truely makes me happy... my daughter... your sperm is greatly appreciated.. I guess

Have you ever wondered what the future will hold? whenyour daughter tells you she hates youand i bet you won't know why... oh my god.. dumb ass get a clue... no better yet grow some balls ... your gonna need emwhere you'll end up.

my name is kokokaka...it is weird name but what can i do....my parent choosed....but luckly im clever and smart.....da....im not trying to show of...but im telling the truth...i get 5A's for my upsr...that's all about me...i guess so...babai...

2dai was exit exams..english 4 jrs nd seniors..luckily i passed so i stayed home..i had an akward dream about pirates in a move theatre lmao wierd i kno. my homie jazz came over nd we chiled downloaded music gunna make a remix 4 our dance were planning to record nd upload. other than that i aimed. i talked to my bf all day lol he said he thinx he's fallin in love wowzers hes been in luv twice. hes jus now startin 2 grow on me lol. theres a girl named jill who always steal guys me nd my frns like so this time i got what she wants he said she had no chance nd that its sad shes been tryin 4 months funny how i didnt all i had 2 say was yes lol wait till she finds out me nd my frns planned it a month frum now ima kiss him in frunt of her..HER FACE ND REACTION WILL BE PRICELESS! paybax a bitch. not revenge cuz she never stole any guys i like but she did take my playmate who we still mess roun wit each other lol. she was a frn but now me nd jill are kinda iffy..funny how she trys 2 figure who he goes with nd i hang wit her everyday nd she still duznt kno its me lol man. i finally beat the simpsons game on my wii ima try 2 go 4 rayman now ive completed 76%..i want super smash bros. brawl so bad!! i got my brother in2 anime lol. he wanted me 2 write down all the websites that i kno. wow i didnt even realize how fast time went by talkn 2 my bf..weve been talkn since 2 p.m nd now its 1 in the mornin. ima hav 2 wake up in 5 hrs geez. good thing his mouth is feelin betr. now i wonder what Wensday awaits for me?

I had an MRI of my knee this morning in an attempt to diagnose what has been wrong with it ever since it buckled on me while I was in pursuit of my son a month ago.� Being claustrophobic, it was a less than pleasurable 40 minutes, and I can only hope that it does indeed reveal something is wrong with my knee.

Of course, I do not like the prospect of needing any surgery to repair what damage I may have caused, especially with the looming visit to the orthopedic surgeon about my hips.

All of these leg problems before our approaching trips to Chicago in July and Walt Disney World in September could not have come at a worse moment.� The worst that could come to pass is that I may require a wheelchair to get around on both vacations, and at my age, I do not like this idea very much.� It certainly does not sit well with my ego, who still believes me to be around the young and tender age of 20 (and in reasonably good health).

Alas, all that I can do now is wait and see.

--- Sam Nejad

Here are some quotes i have found/ read... Some of Them are pretty coolioz.

�

Best Friends
Friends ask why you're crying, but best friends already have
the shovel to bury the meani who made you cry.

Females
Every girl needs her own special to feel beautiful. Whether this day is everyday, once a month, or one day, she doesn't need a
man to tell her she's special.

True Friends
A true friend sees the first tear, catches the second one, and
stops the third tear.

Who Matters?
There comes a point in your life when you realize who really
matters, who never did, and who never will.

Love Hurts
Love is giving someone the ability to hurt and crush you, and
trusting them not to.

I Promise
I promise I'll never forget the day we kissed, or the day we met.
The sky may fall and the stars my too, but in the end, I will still
love you.

First Sight
When I first saw you, I was afraid to meet you.
When I first met you, I was afraid to kiss you.
When I first kissed you, I was afraid to love you.
Now that I love you, I'm afraid to lose you.

I Do
If you're asking if I need you, the answer is forever.
If you're asking if I'll leave you, the answer is never.
If you're asking what I value, the answer is you.
If you're asking if I love you, the answer is I do

So, I have been up all night.� Again.� I really should be going to bed more.� I live with the most wonderful man, that I love more than I know how to say.� Yet, most nights he goes to bed alone, and I stay up.

I could go to bed now, but I know I'll just disturb his sleep.� So I postpone. I'll wait until it's nearly time for his alarm, then I'll go and cuddle him - and then I'll finally fall asleep.

In a way, it's better this way.� I know he sleeps better when I'm not tossing and turning and fidgeting next to him.� And I sleep when I would otherwise be on my own here.� And then we get the evening together.� So, it's not all bad.� It's probably for the best.

Except, that isn't the reason I don't go to bed with him.� I stay up because I'm terrified of going to bed, and trying to sleep in the dark, and having nightmare after nightmare, and lying awake in the dark full of anxiety I can't dispell.

So tired.� So very damn tired.

If only being tired was enough to enable me to sleep.

Dear Journal,

My name is Brooklyn, and im just an ordinary girl, shopping, movies, guys, esc. There are many good things go on in my life, like that i have great friends, and a great family, and i used to have a great boyfriend, thats one thing bad about my life, i had a great boyfriend and i dumped him because he didnt even like me, March 15, 2008.

I thought he was the one, but aparently not. hes just a guy, a ordinary guy, a guy who doesnt like me the way i am.

Today was actually not that bad. I was able to read, write, and enjoy my time with people who came over. It didn't start until right before dinner. I walked to the basketball courts to get my two pain in the butt brothers for dinner. That way they didn't get in trouble for be out. My mom has this rule about missing dinner (sometimes and she was already in a bad mood!) Anyways my brother Michael was being his usual annoying self. My sister likes to call him an insufferable git.. (which I think is funny because she don't know what it means) Again anyways so, during dinner I tried telling my dad that our neighbors friend that was over said sorry about the paint balls. So my lovely brother decided to start yelling at me and calling me stupid names because I had no idea what I was talking about. I retalliated with some not so nice words myself (nothing vulgar mind you) but none the less we got in trouble and my dad blew is top much as the same as last night. I got yelled at for them being too loud with their friends and I needed to get them to shut up because he didn't want to get out of bed. anyways with hte way my dad has been these couple of days is just WAY too stressful!!!!

������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Forever yours,

�����������������������������������������������������������������������������������MEinMYownWORLD1990

our friend dorthy passed away.It just breaks my faith in the holy spirit,jesus christ,lamb of god his word and god himself. Agin, which has been happening for sevarl years now... and is happening over and over and over all the time. Faith and then no faith.. Peace in my spirit.. and then none.... no answers from the holy spirit. nothing of caLVERY OR HIS SON ALIVE. of calvery regarding my daughter AND WHAT IS HAPPENING BETWEEN HIM AND HER ME AND HER AND THE REST OF US,ABSOULTLY NOTHING IN MY OPIONION, �SHE IS TOTALLY ATHEIST AND HATES ME BLAMING ME FOR EVERYTHING IN HER LIFE AND NO ANSWERS TO ANY PRAYER ABOUT THIS. sHE WHOLE HEARTLY despises and hates me now AND HAS BEEN TURNED TOTALLY AGINST ME AND I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY., no answers.. from heaven OR EVEN FROM HER OR ANYONE ELSE. on waether my mother is dead or alive... no answer, as to why �MY family �NOW hates and disowns me WHEN THEY DID NOT IN THE PAST. i feel he has given the devil �A EVIL SPIRIT OR SPIRITS, a playground in our �HUMAN spirits, IN OUR hearts ,self ,soul ,and mind. CONDEMING US THROUGH THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB AND HIS LOVE AND HIS WORD BECUSE WHAT IS HAPPENING IS TOTALLY AGINST EVERYTHING HE SAYS IN HIS WORD AND HE FAILD ME MISERABLY BY CONTINUEING TO DO ABSOULTLY NOTHING AT ALL ABOUT IT TURNING HIS ALL KNOWING ALL POWERFUL ALL PRESENT BACKS ON US AND JUST WATCHING LIKE THAT DOES ANY OF US ANY SALVATION AT ALL YEA RIGHT. i AM TOTALLY CONVINCED OF THIS TOTALLY BY WHAT I FEE,HEAR AND SEE FROM HIM AND EVERY OTHER SPIRIT. MEANING HUMAN THAT ARE REALATED TO ME IN MY FORMER FAMILY FAMILY THAT LOVED GOD AND ME THAT I GREW UP WITH, AND SPIRITS OF THE �OTER WORLD AFTER WE DIE.. �I BELIEVE THIS� statement whole hardly AND COULD NEVER BELIEVE ANYTHING ELSE BY WHAT I AM EXPEREINCEING INSIDE ME AND OUT SIDE OF ME NUTS OR WHAT EVER. NON BELIEVERS SAY IM NOTS OTHERS WHO THE HELL CARES WHAT THEY SAY THERE NOT GOING THROUGH THIS IN ME I AM ALONE OBVIOUSLY. and am totalyy convinced of �THIS. so i hurt. in my spirit. the fruits of the spirit are not in �ME AT LALL I CANT EVEN PUT ON A HAPPY FACE ENJOY LIFE OR PLAY PRETEND ANY MORE EVEN THOUGH I HAVE A LOVING HUBAND AND FAMILY HIS MINE BY MARRIAGE ONLY WHILE HE HAS BOTH ME AND HIS FAMILY.. IT HURT S ME TO THE CORE OF MY SPIRIT AND BEING THAT GODS MERCY DOSNT EXIST FOR ME AND MY FAMILY BEFORE MARRIAGE. �or my atheist daughter �WHO IS SO BLIND SHE CANT EVEN PRAY OR HELP HERSELF IN ANYWAY. LIKE DEMONIC POESSION. AND� the family . THEY CANT OR WONT TURN AROUND EITHER AND I CANT EITHER IT EATS ME UP INSIDE THANK YOU JESUS HOLY SPIRT THANKS ALOT I COUNTED ON YOU AND BELIEVED YOU AND DAM IF I WAS MISTAKEN TO TRUST YOU AGIN DAMIT ANYWAY.that has turned there back on me... i pray the word, witness for him obey to the best of my human ability and it has counted for nothing for about 5 yrs or more not caring enough for me and mine to give an answer in a positive good way like he cliamed in the spirit of his holy word shame on me for thrusting shame on me im stupid . pray the spirit of the word and nothing. is i study the word i stay in the word i do everything he has said from his word and still unsanswered being totally hateful he and his word has turned his back on us totally �soemtimes i see his guidence through emails and messages from churches and websites but how do i know anyof his message is for me or mine when no answers to the prayers said for the 2nd or eternal death for grace love mercy and salvition through his spirit of his won words out of his mouth that hasnt happened or coem to pass . im at an all time low i cant fight this battle raging in my spirit anymore while i watch my shild as i sit here knowing that she could die anysecond and life for eternitiy in the damed from gods presence. �this is more then this human can cope with where is the truth in the spirit of gods word the bible why dosnt it come to pass for us?????�

hai. haha. gud day! just wanted to�tell more about myself. hmmm. just a simple junior student. well, my life isn't too hard coz i have�many friends out there. and�of course i had my family.�.�at this very young age,�many trials and problems has come in my life. problems on friends, family. haha.�but proud to say i overcome it all. well i just do�the things that�can make me forget and overcome it. haha.�...to be continue��

Exams are sure boring things.....

but dis few exams wit sum1 special...

it's another different story.....

lately..all kinds of cute stuff happened.....

juz bcoz of a special 1...

saw a question ..'How do you define love?'

A gud question...

To me..love comes in various forms..

through fren...family...religion...or ur partner....

i found a fren,family,religion and a partner...

i think it's all in 1...

almost perfect......

Now comes another question...

'How to�prolong your flower's beauty?'

This is my question.....

Still seeking for answers....

(12/5/2008)

Luv u~^^

Happy Mothers Day for yesterday~

‎"Ask yourself whether you are happy and you cease to be so." - John Stuart Mill

well the site works mm so go to it plz thanks have a good one

I thought the title for this was perfect because Magic and I are '2 Peas in a Pod'.� Why you say?� Because Magic was diagnosed with DM, which is similar to MS in humans.� I have been diagnosed with MS for almost 2 years.� Magic was diagnosed towards the end of last year with DM, and that was only because I changed vets because I was HIGHLY irritated with my last Vet!

My last Vet had all new people working for her, and no regular people worked for her any longer.� When I had taken Magic in to have a Grade 3 Cancerous Tumor removed last year (which she didn't want to remove right away, just told me to 'keep and eye on it').�

So when I went to pick Magic up from the Vet's office, it took A LONG TIME for a staff member to bring her up from the basement.� And when the staff memeber had brought her up from the basement, she smelled of urine HIGHLY!!!� That is not something I willing to stand for!!� Yes, Magic does have SA (Separation Anxiety) and will pee/poop in her kennel/crate when no one is with her).� While I was waiting for her, I could here her barking in the basement.�

When I had Magic to this Vet's office to have Magic's dental done, Magic had soiled in her kennel, but the staff�bathed her and then kept her upstairs with them until I arrived to pick her up.

So to keep this short, after picking up Magic from the Vet's Office, I went on a journey to find a new Vet.� And I am PROUD TO SAY THAT I NOW HAVE A NEW VET'S OFFICE that came HIGHLY recommended by others that live in the Kenosha/Racine Area!!!� I do not think that I will be changing Vets anytime soon ;)

This is the 1st day live without u....u fly yesterday.....to a place tat i have never been to......

For the whole night......tears drops n thoughts r full on my mind......

when the morning i wake up, i saw ur message in msn......i am really regret tat i wake up late.......

This day is holiday, i no nid to work.......but wat can i do?

without u.......i just dunno wat can i do......just thinking about u.......

i see all te photos u took with me, ever faces of urs r stuck in my mind......

i read all the jounals u wrote to me n every journal i wrote when i knew u......

feeling time flew, one years just pass tat easily.......

the time we having bad feelings, arguement.......everything...............

i just cant stop thinking about u........

i should be strong........stop staring ur photos without doing anything.........

baby, tonight i will go out yam cha with my kor n my kor new girlfriend.......this is the 1st step i try to be strong......to start a world without u........no......not without u..........is to start the world of being "独立"

不再依赖你在身边的日子。我会活得好好的，也会很小心。

吾爱。心