THE COLORS ARE SO PRETTY AND BRIGHT,

IT'S SO AMAZING,

HOW GOD CAN PRODUCE SOMETHING SO BEAUTIFUL AND RIGHT.

I REMEMEMBER BEING LITTLE AND CHASING THEM WITH NETS AND THINGS,

TRYING TO CATCH A CLOSE GLIMPSE,

AT ALL THE COLORS ON IT'S WINGS.

SEEMED LIKE I WOULD BE BUSY FOR HOURS,

RUNNING OR SKIPPING HERE AND THERE,

CHECKING ALL OF THE FLOWERS.

I WANTED SO BADLY TO HOLD ONE IN MY HAND,

BUT THEY WERE SO QUICK,

WHY I WASN'T FAST ENOUGH, I COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND.

ONE DAY, I FINALLY CAUGHT ONE AND IT BROUGHT ME SUCH JOY,

I NEVER STOPPED TO THINK,

THIS BEAUTY GOD CREATED WAS NO TOY.

I ACCIDENTLY BROKE IT'S PRECIOUS WING AND STARTED TO CRY,

THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO,

BECAUSE OF ME,IT WOULD DIE.

MY MAMMA SAT ME DOWN AND A STORY SHE TOLD,

SHE SAID A BUTTERFLY NEVER LASTED LONG,

IT GOES THROUGH IT'S STAGES OF LIFE AND QUICKLY GROWS OLD.

MY HEART ACHED AS I PUT IT TO REST,

MAMMA KISSED ME ON THE CHEEK,

TOLD ME NOT TO FRET,NOW IT'S HEAVEN'S LITTLE GUEST.

AS I LOOK BACK TO THAT DAY,

I KNOW THERE WAS A PURPOSE,

OR THAT LITTLE BUTTERFLY WOULD HAVE SURELY GOTTEN AWAY.

IT WAS GOD TEACHING ME HOW QUICKLY EVERYTHING CAN SLIP BY,

NOT TO TAKE A DAY FOR GRANTED,

THAT LIFE CAN BE JUST AS FRAGILE AS THE WINGS OF A BUTTERFLY.

Lots of bad and sads things have happened over the past month but I think things are looking up for me. I found out yesterday that I got the job at the vet clinic. It is a full time job and after my 90 day probation period I will be eligible for benefits. This is very important to my husband and I since we both have to see the doctor now on a monthly basis. My husband and I have been getting along very well lately and I am so happy for that. With my PMDD I know that when it is my time of month it my or may not be a bit of a challenge. Since I have been on the pill this month I have felt more leveled out and not like I'm on a roller coaster. i hope it stays this way so that I dont have to start taking the Celexa. It is suppose to help me out but I have finally stopped having anxiety attacks because Im taking the pill I dont want to add something else that may bring them on.� Sure some people dont understand how I could have anxiety attacks b/c of the pill but it is true. Not that I am saying its the pill that causes the attack but the fact of me having to take it and the fear of the side effects causes me to have the attacks. Well wish me luck for the rest of the day.

sup my peepz!

well kinda tired right now. but i made an imvu. kinda cool but tiring too. anyways. i am tired and i'm gonna sign off. esta la vista people

It's incredible how you can never be you.� Well in my case, I feel like I can't.� I guess that is fear of losing her, but really should we be struggling this much.� This just crazy.�

6pm...so did you talk to him and find out if he poked a hole in the bag of fertilizer.� Yes I did! Let me guess, he said he didn't.� Yes that is what he said.� Yeah well, I don't believe him...you can't read him like I can and I know he is not telling the truth.�

So no matter what...there was no winning that conversation and what the hell amd I suppose to do?� I can't shake it out of him, he said he didn't and I talked to him over and over and he said he didn't do it.�

My head continues to spin of course after the conversation ends with her.� Feeling like I am missing something and I should have done something else to him to get it out of him.�

All it took for her was one lie, now everything he says is a lie.� OMG she is so negative towards him.� Well, he will learn and judge her for himself.� I am tired, my feelings are starting to be questionable, and I never thought I would ever say, I think I rather be alone, than deal with this anymore.

I'm done venting...any advice?� Till then...I have a productive day at work...and I need to get started.

January 22, 2009

Big news in the world of Jane W. and NASCAR.� My employer�Armando Fitz has sold his race team and the new name is Trail Motorsport.� This was nothing new to me but BIG news�in the racing industry.� Here is an article that was written after our press conference on Wednesday.

�http://sports.espn.go.com/rpm/nascar/cup/columns/story?columnist=hinton_ed&id=3850027

I would also encourage you to check out our team website.� Our mission is to have the fans as our first and most important sponsor.� We are going to be fan oriented and try to provide our team members (fans) unprecedented access to the world of racing.� One of my focuses at work will be� “fan management”.� I am really looking forward to this!!!� Please join the TM�Team.

www.trailmsport.com

There we go, I've suspended it until December 31st 2010. I'm aparantly gonna be away for that long but not really. I'm awesome.

Wow, I can't believe it! My first online journal entry. I've now been doing my food diary for 10 days! I can't believe how much I eat sometimes and at other times so little! I think I'm going to journal about my weight loss and one day, weight management. It's so exciting. Last time that I weight myself I was slightly over 170 lbs. But, of course, that's been a while. I know that I haven't flucuated though, much since last year.

On a different note, Pre-Calc is so difficult, my mark is 47%. I only need 56% though on the exam to pass. Then it's finished!! It's finally getting warm outside which of course is a welcome change!

At this rate, I think I will never babysit again!! It bothers me so much!!��I mean you can't honestly only need your babysitter for February and March every week and then be done with her and not need her till you feel really bad two years later!!��It actually makes me really sad because I love the boys so much and more time spent with them, the better. Oh, well! It's not like there's anything I can do about it!

I welcome your suggestions, comments and notes and would love to reply! Thanks.

�

Follow Us on Our Journey

Below you will find our travel itinerary. Barring any unforeseen circumstances, we will be setting off from Beijing on June 13th 2008, and ending in Hong Kong on July 24th 2008. Realistically speaking, however, our dates and destinations will most likely fluctuate. The trip will take us from Northern China to Southern China following the Eastern seaboard. Or, if you are partial to the rooster analogy of China, we’ll be traveling from the Neck to the Gut following the outline of the Belly.

Trip Breakdown

Biking Days: 31

Volunteering Days: 4

Rest Days: 5

Total Distance: 3455KM

� Today I did a shoot with a baby girl named Eliska. She was so adorable. She had several different halloween costumes. She was so easy to work with and her mom and grandmother kept singing this really cute song to get her attention. I really enjoyed the session and am sure the images will be beautiful. I think my favorites are the ones of her with the colorful toule. There was a cat that she really loved. We tried to put the cat in the pail with her but it immediately jumped out before we could even snap off one picture. I was kind of sad about that because it would have been very halloween like. We did get a few with the cut on the bench with her but then it decided to get down when she started petting it a little less than it liked. She wasn't even 2 so she was learning to be nice to the kitty. She didn't quite have it down yet but it was very cute to see her try. There were some great areas at the pumpkin patch to shoot. The only thing is that in the barn some fly kept landing on the baby but I got lots of shots without it so that will be okay. There were huge pumpkins and colorful gourds so I think these will be perfect for halloween.

well i havent wrote in here in like a centry...theres so much i gotta talk about...well u knoe that boy i talked about in al mi other entryss well thats was the love of mi life. and i got moved 4rm him :[

im in georgia now and it suxss i miss em soo much..well while i was here i fell 4 this boy chriis and he is so amazing after the hurting of moveing away 4rm walter and loosin em to this other gurl i thought id never love somebody again well i did i fell 4 chirss words dont even describe him he just wowed me the day i met him, so i me and walter had ended up becuming bestfriends again and we started tellin eah other bout erthing and i told em bout chris well i didnt kno hed take that as permission to get anew gurlfriend well he did and now hes wit sum gurh that i think he loves more then me and shes soo much prettier then me thats the sad partt.n me n em promised each other wed end up togehter and wat if he stays with her,,then i lost him :[ i hate the thought of that but i mean i kinda did it. so bak to chris in me we broke upp ok so i had got caught skippen skewl and i was gunna get in trouble so i asked chriz to leave skool wit me and walk me half way sumwhere and now we got in trouble 4 skippin and mi principle is tryin to get em 4 sagatory rape cuz hes 19 soo we had to break up to prevent it ..so here i am hurt and lonely again missen walter and chriss.i mean i realli think im hopeless with boysss. so i stoped worrien bout them now im just focusenen on skool and graduatingg.so georgia aint soo bad now that ive been here.besides that mi dads around godd i dont even wanan start that topic. so im not even gunna well mi hands hurtt lol so ima get offf here

�So I have been back "home" now for 11 days and it seems I have already dissapointed my parents just as many times.� Sunny So Cal feels colder than ever to me.�� Which maybe is why I was compelled to seek out a little warmth from the past.� The past to which I still cling SO hard.� So I people searched and googled him to no avail.� But finally, I went on to my space- the virtual down town coffee shop of this decade- and with a few clicks and scrolls THERE HE WAS!�

blah blah i was just watching sex and the city, and now its over :[

im so in love with sex and the city, carey is my favorite.

�Tell the truth, who are your�family and who are the people you are close to. who is gunna be there and help you get through. give you a light when you lost yours and just dont have a clue.�The answer is nothing really means shit, your family is the people you choose to be with , and love even if for only for a minute. A message after a half decade can possibly be a start. try and find the ones you were trained to stay apart... from, and in the end youll see that words like family and friends really have no inbetween, It all just depends on if you wanna play and whos game. But keep your mind open, and never let it be taimed, youll find your so called family is�like a fire in the rain!