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    •     LB*13  31, Female, Texas, USA - 21 entries
    27
    Jun 2007
    6:40 PM EDT
       

    How do you decide something that will change your life forever??
    If you have any advice please tell me....
    Thanks
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    5 comment(s) - 09:30 PM - 07/16/2007
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        BladeDude2007  37, Male, Canada - First entry!
    27
    Jun 2007
    2:43 PM CDT
       

    I love you Jessica!!

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        Jocelyn  54, Female, Taiwan - 13 entries
    26
    Jun 2007
    4:49 PM EDT
       

    The last two days before the summer vacation begins, I only feel more depressed. The thinking of flying to San Jose makes me quiver. Chill down to the spine. And why's that? Well, it's full of unknown, and unpreditible and terrifying what's possibly to happen....don't know. OK, to be honest, I don't want to meet with them, that's all. sighs....
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        heartbreak2007  36, Female, Pennsylvania, USA - 27 entries
    26
    Jun 2007
    3:43 PM EDT
       

    Hey what's p? Not too much here just chilling up in my friends house. Well um......I am back with my boyfriend and he has a week to get his shit together or he is out and I am done because I have till August to find a place and come up with money to get my own place.
    Ash
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    2 comment(s) - 10:32 PM - 06/26/2007
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        mj  60, Female, Indiana, USA - 2 entries
    21
    Jun 2007
    5:28 PM EDT
       

    I am tired but, must go on. I remail strong only for the wonderful gift God has given to me. My daughter... What a beautiful gift. I look forward to home schooling her this next year no matter what the challenges are a head.

    More tomorrow
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        thoughts  44, Female, North Carolina, USA - 2 entries
    21
    Jun 2007
    1:38 PM EDT
       

    gotta get me together
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        HAPPYPHANTOM1978  46, Male, Ohio, USA - First entry!
    21
    Jun 2007
    12:45 PM EST
       

    I dont really know what to do with myself anymore. I try to be strong, I try to think positive, and carry on with some semblance of a daily routine. It just doesnt work. I miss Adam SO much, that I cant even carry on a normal daily regimine. I try to sleep as long, and as much as I possibly can...even then, what sleep I do get is littered with dreams/nightmares that just make me more depressed when I wake. I really dont understand how I got to where I am today. When Adam and I met, we just clicked. I dont know how to explain it, or how to really put it into words. Im not some naive kid who is just going through a bad breakup. I've been in relationships that have lasted over 7 years, and walked away unattached. With Adam, I honestly believe I found my soulmate. He completed me in so many ways, and I the same for him. It was like the missing piece of my heart and soul was finally intact...life couldn't get any better. Dont get me wrong, there are problems in every relationship...and we had our fair share early on. We made it over and through every obstacle though. Adam just deals with problems in completely the wrong way. He runs, he hides, he lies. I know he loves me with all his heart, and only wants to be with me...I really dont doubt that at all. I know he suffers from depression, and an extremely low self-esteem. He thinks his family doesnt love him, and everything he does is wrong. I've tried to be there for him, in every way I possibly can. I've stood beside him through all of his trials, i've fought for him, and carried him when he was weak. He has told me time and time again that I am the only thing that makes him happy in life, that when hes with me everything else doesnt matter...all focus is on me. Yet, when he freaks out and gets really depressed, im the first thing he pushes away. He says he makes too many mistakes. I just dont understand anything he does. I dont blame him for everything...I honestly think he needs help. He wont get it though, he claims he can handle the problem on his own. We havent really talked for almost 2 weeks...the last time we talked he told me that we would never see eachother, or talk to eachother again. That he was done, and moving on. He has said this all before, and he came back all by himself. I dont really take to heart anything he says, although I admit that it hurts me deeply to hear him say these things. I would give my life for this boy any day, without thought or hesitation. He really is the key to my happiness. Everyone says that he doesn't deserve me...that I could do better. I cant move on even if I wanted to, its just not that easy. I can safely say that if he doesnt come back, I will never be with anyone else...or truly be happy again. This sounds rough, but I know its true. I may learn to cope better, and have some semblance of life...but there will always be a sadness in my soul, and a piece of my being missing. Some days, I honestly wish I could just disappear. That I could erase my mind. The pain and hurt is honestly more than I can even describe. Its just a horrible sick feeling that never goes away. My heart tells me he will be back, but it still hurts. Every day, I have to surround myself with people...or I go crazy. I pace the room, I cry, I make myself sick. Its a horrible existance. I dont really think he thinks its as bad as it really is. I've been leaving him alone. I dont try to call him, or text him. Im hoping he will realize soon what hes doing. I wish I could just hug him...calm him down, and let him know that everything is going to be alright. Until then, I'll wait...
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        starlightluv  33, Female, Washington, USA - 2 entries
    21
    Jun 2007
    2:33 AM PDT
       

    OK SO MANY PROBLEMS OUT THERE THESE DAYS!

    wat is lyfe cumin ta? i mean for real. so many people r havin family trubles n its kinda sad. between father daughter/son or mother daughter/son maybe even family on u! i mean really! y?! my friends dad has been married 5 timesshe has had her real mom for a bout2 mnths then they got a divorcehe then married 3 otherchicks in the past 13 years then got a divorce with all three now she is on her 4th step mom and her lyfe is tore up she is 14 and everyhing is her fault she causes all the stress at home i mean come on sheis 14 but acts 18! she is so mature and trys to help EVERYONE but really its not possible! causeevry thin shetryies at home itswrong. her dad told her to justmove out, step mom said she is a piece ofcrap, and step lil sister told her she is good for nothing but cleaning soy notjust move out oh wait she dont wanther to move out cause then she will have to helpclean and they will lose thier slave! wat wud u do if your lil 9year old step sister told you that! that your thier slave! i wud personally flip theshoes on a whale off! i mean for real! then other problems with people moms or dad i mean really so manyteens and kids and who ever else are havingso many problems withparents its sad!wat is going on in the environment for this too happne????
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        CarlyJade  37, Female, Oklahoma, USA - 7 entries
    20
    Jun 2007
    6:16 AM CST
       

    So last tuesday night Jessica and I decided to go out and have a few drinks! It was around 9:30. We walked all the way down to El Tigre and saw that nobody was there. So we decided to walk beck to Tiki, when he got there they had shut down for the night. so we decided to see if Tres wanted to go out with us, so we wakl back to the dorm, and couldnt find him. Then we ran into Ricardo. He was like i want to come with you girls. So we said sure, we talked to him in the court yard, and he couldnt decide which way to waer his hat. His english isnt all that good so..When he put his cap on backwards he said "I looka likea Badbad Boy!" it was to funny. So he goes up and changes and we run into Diego. We were talking to him and we told him that he is just to cute and he to doesnt have the good of english skills and he told us " I ama hot stuff" again frickin funny! So we walk back to El Tigre with Ricardo. The waiters rip jessica and I off and a cute guy actually wanted to dance with me. So it was an alright night.

    Then Last thursday i went out with Emily, Eric, Emily´s roomate and Jessica...
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        JJizzle80  44, Female, Wisconsin, USA - 2 entries
    19
    Jun 2007
    5:41 AM EDT
       

    Ha that's a funny question to ask me. What I expect from others I do not bother because no one ever gives me anything I expect from them. Like I expect my mother to respect me and let me raise my own kid but she does just the opposite. Sure she's nice to have around for when I go to school so she can babysit when no one else could. That's about the only thing I need her for. But yesterday I was playing with my kid and I was holding him on top of my head cuz he was playing with my hair and giggling and he decided to take a turn on me and hit his face on the hard part of the couch which is the arm rest. She blew up at me and told me she was calling Social Service because all I do is hurt him. What it's not o.k. to get hurt once in a while everyone does from time to time. She acts like he can't get hurt. I blew back up at her and I was like well at least I don't go and get married and not invite you and she comes back and says well at least I didn't fuck some guy who doesn't give a two shits about you. Then I come back and say well damn I'm moving out and she tried to say I wasn't going to take him with me but I was like you are not his mother you can't tell me where he can go and not go I will take him where ever I want to and you can't stop me. Then I kicked the stroller at her because I was so frustrated and it was the only thing in my way and said I hate you to her I fucking hate you. Then I was like you can not do this to me and I'm not going to let you .... You don't treat Annette this way. Then I pounded on the wall with both hands and stompped upstairs and threw the fan in my room. I'm 26 years old I do know how to raise my kid even though she I don't and I'm sick of her trying to have all the control and I'm sick of her using social service shit against me just because he got hurt accidently. I need a friend to talk to about this because I'm stuck in a situation where I can't really leave because I don't have enough money to move out on my own which was why I was staying at home. I don't even have a car of my own I need that to get around. I don't care if it means forking over all my checks to rent, electric, phone, internet and water I dont know if thats included or what not but if that's what it's going to take then I've got to do it to get away from her. I can't live with her when she treats me like a 14 year old. I've got to stand my ground.
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