Right now, I'm sitting in my ex's house with his parents and brother. I know why I'm here, it's to keep me sane and to maybe get some sleep for the first time all week. The problem is that while I'm sitting here, I'm trying to work, but all the while, I'm wishing he was here. I say I don't believe in love...and at this point I don't, but when I was with him I knew it existed. I can't believe that I was able to feel something so strong that it changed my life. To feel something like that is unbelievable, but to lose it is unbearable. I'm sleeping in the bed that we shared and it's just not going to be the same without him next to me. I do miss him and I do still have him in my damn, good ole heart.
When someone let's you down, it's the worst feeling on earth.
When you're reminded of it, that's just like dying.
Why? ..Most of us want to know why that person did such a thing to us. Simple. Out of sight is truly out of mind. The easiest thing for a person that's embaressed or ashamed, or one that has a very low self-esteem is to exit. "Escapism". So they turn their back on the mess they made, and just walk away.
Where's Karma? Where's the Universal Law? Where's the Law and the Prophets? I guess I'll never know.
There's a lot I'll never know. It's not like you get to sit back and watch the movie. You kind of have to deal with it as it happens... to you.
So i've signed up for another journal/blog/diary thing. I could've used my old account in livejournal but i feel that it's time for something new. Welcome to inboxjournal.. lol.
Right now, i'm looking for employment again. It frustrates me now how I can't seem to stay in any job. Ever since I've moved to toronto about 4 months ago, i've worked these stupid jobs such as telemarketing, telephone surveying (at 3 different places), customer service at a photograhy establishment, and inbound call centre. since i'm such a picky little twit, none of these jobs ever worked out for me because i'm always finding something wrong with every job. what the hell can i do now?? i'm not getting any luck so far. I'm still waiting to really find the perfect job.
I've been staying up really late recently. i shouldn't keep doing this. Must... get... back... to............. normal.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!� Another year,� THANK YOU GOD, for this year.� I can't believe I have� lived 3 years longer than my first husband.� He died when he was 30.� Sometimes I miss him so much still, which is wierd becaues I am remarried.�
Cory is gone, out of town working,,, weeks of no husband SUCKS!� So, thankfully I have a great mom, who lives close enough to surprise me.,, She brought me starbucks, flowers and donuts to my at work, and then took us out to supper,,,and even brought a lil' carrot cake to supper.� I love my mommy!�
THANK YOU LORD!
theres so many things that i'dd say if i werent afraid
if i werent afraid
theres so many times that i'vve missed my chance to explain
my chance to explain
all of the feelings i have kept
under the rug and table set
�
That's all! This summer had ended, but I can't say, that I'm upset about it. It was maby the best time in my life...but now...more meeting with friends, more work for me
My love...I don't understand anything about him and about me. I's very hard for me? but I can't sat, that I've dissapointed in him.I want to see him,hug and kiss, but...another question:what wants he.
Add comment
