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Well, journal, I got this brilliant idea last night since I couldn't go to sleep.I figured that I could use you to as a sleep diary too.Soo...I've been awake now for 22 hours,30 minutes,& 56 seconds.On top of being really tired,I broke up with my boyfriend chris 2 days ago.It's kinda sad,but it's his fault.Advice to everyone:Insomniacs and people with anger problems do not mix!!!�� Me and Chris always got along well until it came time to go to bed.You see the problem with me having insomnia is the fact that I like to�walk around the house cleaning and everything else to wear myself out so I can go to sleep and Chris would get aggravated with it.�Well, the other night he was really pissed off for some reason and he got more irritated than usual with my antics and he hit me,so I kicked him out.Okay...so I have now been awake for 23 hours,34 minutes,&28 seconds.Well I g2g ttyl.

You would think everyday of someones life has some kind of order. Some kind of organization, and usually mine does. But lately I have realized that living a life of routines and constant organization isnt always good. I need to break free and leave the old me behind. Im tired of being compared to as perfect girl who doesn't do anything adventureous and who is just so predictable and ordinary. Ordinary is not the word I want to be labeled as. So many things in my life have come to me by suprise and I see others that carry randomness and uniqueness within them. But now its time for me to go at the world in a whole new perspective, its my turn to suprise others and myself. Show that I can be more than what i portray. Sooner or later, I will be noticed and seen as that girl that everyone wants to know how she got where she is now. I want to be, I can be, and I will be unique(:

I am very grateful for a sound mind and the ability to discern harmful people and situations.

Quote of the day

"The mother of excess is not joy but joylessness." - Friedrich Nietzsche

Universe entry of the day

The funny thing, Ed, is that in spite of the euphoria one feels upon entering paradise, cloaked in miracles, surrounded by angels, love, and unimaginable beauty, it gradually becomes all they know, commonplace, ordinary, and then, shockingly... invisible.

Yep, I'm talking about life on earth.

Yippee Kai-Ye,

-The Universe-

Journal entry of the day

Love, love, love, da-da-da, love, love, love, etc., etc.

Famous and great song. The longer I ponder it the more I relize and believe that the root of God and all things good is love. God is love is a Christian concept and the only religion on the planet to make this proclamation. Dr. Wayne Dyer quoted someone who said, "The only difference between good and God is "o" or nothing. There is no difference. We are all capable of God like qualities if we share love.

yeah. Sorry im tried I will write 2morrow. bye

Ugh! I am madly in love with a boy who has a girlfriend. He is soooooo cute! I think he knows I like him. Anyway I am on summer vacation! WAHOO! I an totally out of the USA! I really want to make good friends on here so I accept all friend requests!

LOL and madly in love

ALeks 4eva

So, I have been up all night.� Again.� I really should be going to bed more.� I live with the most wonderful man, that I love more than I know how to say.� Yet, most nights he goes to bed alone, and I stay up.

I could go to bed now, but I know I'll just disturb his sleep.� So I postpone. I'll wait until it's nearly time for his alarm, then I'll go and cuddle him - and then I'll finally fall asleep.

In a way, it's better this way.� I know he sleeps better when I'm not tossing and turning and fidgeting next to him.� And I sleep when I would otherwise be on my own here.� And then we get the evening together.� So, it's not all bad.� It's probably for the best.

Except, that isn't the reason I don't go to bed with him.� I stay up because I'm terrified of going to bed, and trying to sleep in the dark, and having nightmare after nightmare, and lying awake in the dark full of anxiety I can't dispell.

So tired.� So very damn tired.

If only being tired was enough to enable me to sleep.

its been days, iv been dreaming for days

something which i can not seem to awaken myself from

dreams in which i am what i can never be

dreams in which i see all that i would never see

dreams where happiness is what i cant reach

its been years, ive been awake for years

those years are not what i thought they would be

years of being with people who seem to care

years of being around those not treated fair

years where what i believe in is trully not there

its been decades, ive suffered for decades

to think that i thought kindly once before

decades of seeing the world slowly turn inside out

decades of seeing truth and honor skewered

decades that i wish i did not go through

yet i am grateful that i get to dream

i am grateful i get to live