Change. It's an inevitable thing. We have to change in order to grow and learn from mistakes. If not we'd all be making the same mistakes over and over again...like driving around a traffic circle and never making a turn to get out of it. Every once in a while, though, people change for the worst. Or that's how one can view it. Sometimes it's a gradual thing, sometimes sudden. Either way, it's usually left you with a bad taste in your mouth.
It's a bit sad, really, when you once believed in a person and now no longer do. When helping them & supporting them was something you did because you wanted to. You cared to. Now it's something you hardly think about. No energy to help someone who would rather associate with people "higher" up with more "connections." Here you thought they actually cared about you but now it's clear that was false. They cared about the help you were providing...and now that they can get it elsewhere you are no longer needed. You see what type of person they have become... Although, come to think of it. Maybe it's not just them who has changed maybe it's yourself. Maybe you've changed to see who they are, having been a bit jaded before... Wow. How writing thoughts down makes you think. Anyway. It's just a rude awakening when all of the hard work you ever put in (at your own will because you wanted to) seems to have been a waste of time...
I probably would have gone down the same path. Knowing them, helping them perhaps just not as much. At the end of the day, I can rest my head on my pillow and fall fast asleep into dreams of whatever is in my head & heart. I wasn't out to seek anything from anybody, I was (and still am true to myself & other people). I don't expect anything from anybody. I don't use people for my own selfish purposes. It's not who I am. I'm the helper type that tends to get stomped on by those who use others, time and time again. It's something I can't turn off or learn from. I can't change that. But I never forget the behaviors of other people.
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-So reading this back I realize it started out as one thing and ended up another. Still on the same topic but a bit off from one another. But I'm going to keep it this way. Hopefully it's coherent enough to follow along.
�again I cant do this often but here is the latest.. We had a VBIED go off while I was asleep. I wasnt sure at first what happened but grabbed me gear and went to work. We had patients arriving in minutes and there was alot of blood. I was surprised that I was not affected. I was even moresurprised at the people who did lose their minds. for hours we stayed on our feet.. holding pressure.. doing sutures.. bandaging wounds and whatever else was needed. When we released my patients who were locals they wanted pictures with me. thanked me for being so caring.� .. gotto go.. patient came in
Today I spent the morning with my husband Tyler. �He's so wonderful. �He's great with my kids. �This morning I heard a great analogy. �I'm Barney, he's Attila the Hun. �We went to church, then I had to go to work.
Hola!!!!!!! god, i havent written on here for sooo long, what with running around and someone else always on the computer.... you get the idea.
finally moved house... thats right after 7 months of complaining and bitching about the lack of potential buyers, a couple put us out of our misery and we were free to leave the hellhole and move to sunnier land, well 30 mins up the road anyway. although we put on the pretence of hating the old house, on the actual morning my parents were crying at seeing the place looking empty and abandoned, as we had grown up there and it is where they rememeber their parents , so it had a lot of emoitonal memories contained in its walls. the actual day was quite stressful and me and ben ended u having lunch in the back of the car surrouned by all of our stuff.� walking into our new house was daunting as i could barely remember some of it and had never actually seen all of my parents bedroom, but everything seemed great on the surface. however the way my mum has acted over the last few weeks you might diagree as she spots ever expanding cracks in the walls and ceiling but then this has been THE COLDEST WINTER FOR OVER 30 YEARS. i had barely even thought about the old house until last week when i was in school and i thought 'when i get home i'll have to typr this essay quickly as mu parents will want to go to sleep' forgetting that the computer is no longer in their room, woo hoo, from now on youtube until 3 in the morning :) onlu complaint...my bum is going numb as we are still sitting in deckchairs every night, as there is still a lack of furniture about the place, especially in the lounge.
back to school now and history is ....well history, (woo hoo a pun) , thank god, i dont think i could bare to sit there listening to the boring life story of another politicion for one meow seconds, my brain was already starting to melt. parents evening is always a laugh and this year it did not disappoint. one highlight of the evening...al praise miss pickersgill for being the only� teacher EVER to say that it is ok for me to not talk so much in class. one up for the people who just like to sit the quietly, doodling on their paper, whike everyone else's voice's floating around the room.
big news of the week...I MADE MY FIRST SALE. i feel like a proper little business woman. the senior housemistress is giving me 25 quid to crochet her a scarf like the one i made for myself at xmas. lately i was starting to feel that maybe my dream job was not going to happen as the market is to difficlut but thisjust renewed my faith to the extreme.x
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MusicalDelight 39, Female, New Hampshire, USA - First entry!
mccreight29 52, Female, Georgia, USA - 19 entries
