I was staring at the window while having my bus ride this morning and noticed that the leaves changes its color again. Autumn it is, well winter is actually on its way.� I guess the reason why we have 4 seasons is that it's an illustration of our life's season too. There are times that everything goes pale, like the weather nowadays, it turned the leaves into a yellow, red & brown color, and sooner or later it will eventually wither & fall on the ground. Then winter will come & trees will hybernate and some trees won't be able to withstand the temperature and will just dried up with the freezing weather and some will endure and will sprout again in spring which indicates that this certain plant was able to survive no matter how stiff or fierce�the season was and will be able to show it's color to fill the world with its wonderful aura. And in Summer�plants & trees�will reach the fullness of their appearance and will be able to store enough energy from it's source. And when autumn comes again it'll be prepared to face another transition of life. We've got battles and trials each day. We've got�joy, sorrows, and breakthroughs, and each season represents us that there's always something that awaits on the other side as we patiently endure each time we'll be facing challenges in our life. Our source is extraordinary, He is the Creator of the Universe, therefore we don't have�any reason to give up on each season because He will sustain us no matter how tough our situations are, all we have to do is to do our part, and that is to keep on going no matter what, because we are not alone and our life is in His hands!��
�� Okay, I have this boyfriend. He is amazing towards me but, I don't ever see him because we live in different towns. He hasn't called me in a while and has no phone to text me from. I mean I still really like him but don't know anymore. � On the other hand I have this guy friend that goes to my school and I hangout with everyday that I have a decent sized crush on. I really like him and kind of want him to ask me on a date. � I like both guys but, don't know what to do... What should I do and how? HELLLPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!�
It is days such as these days I wished I could just curl up inside of bed snuggled close to my blankets and just go to sleep. While I do not know why I seem to enjoy sleeping in very much. I do. Must be something about the coldness that makes me feel more compelled not to do anything and since I am not home yet, I still am not able to control the heat thermostat.
But “boy-oh-boy,†if I could. I would have not ever slept in curled up to my blankets. I would have been so HOT I would have rushed down my sister’s stairs an hour later shutting off the thermostat. Why? I cannot stand the heat.
One of the things I have been keeping inside of me the last past few days of finding out of my Uncle’s death. Now since this is going to be made a public journal, I cannot share some of the names presented. I guess for legality purposes. However, now he is gone, I feel a sense of postpone sadness for him and myself because he died all alone without anyone and us only knowing of his passing was relayed to my sister from the corners office in Houston, Texas. I miss him.
He was the best uncle I could ever have. Since my sister and I were his favorite nieces, he would always make calls to us on a daily or bi-weekly basis informing us how he was doing. I missed him living in Ohio as much as I missed the summer rain putting me to sleep at night.
I remember many things he said to me. The thoughts of peer success he thought I was able to obtain and all of those many hours when I was young he would babysit my older sister and I and teach us math. He was the reason why I was able to grasp various things inside of math clearly then others inside of my class could.
He did not ever judge me for my skin color, facial features, or my flaws. He judged eveyone based on his or hers character, manners, and knowledge. He was the best uncle out of my mom’s side of the family my sister and I have ever had.
There is a pure sense of loneliness and void etched into my heart for the way he had to pass. I do not know why I sit and think about how he passed constantly. Maybe because if he would of gone to the hospital in Texas sooner, he would have still been alive, in yet, he passed inside of his apartment in his bed alone no kids or wife no one else there to help him survive. Just him.
He stayed there dead in his apartment know one knowing where or why he was not returning our calls for a little over a month. The Texas police found my uncle yesterday on October 1st dead.
My sister when she heard the news first. Cried. I could not cry because it was so postponed for me. I try to stay strong for everyone. At times I do not even know why I am doing it. I guess…. This is just a way for me to relieve my own pain. Through being strong for others. I feel as if I have to not because I am forced too.
Maybe this is because when I was younger I always felt I had to be strong for myself and everyone else around me. Because I always thought no one is going to always be around forever to take care of me. All I had was myself to take care. Now I look at my words and wonder… Am I right?
I do not want to be alone forever. I thought about this before I ever got married. So with feeling this way, I asked God to send me someone I could successfully share my life with. He came but not without a cost. I know sometimes we have to loose one thing to gain another. Why?
I do not know. I guess with death there comes so many unanswered questions. I just know I just want to go to sleep today beside my husband and fall asleep in his arms. Right after I finish this and my slushy.