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    •     amberfly  49, Male, Iowa, USA - First entry!
    19
    Aug 2007
    1:16 AM EDT
       

    Hello all.

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        AngelStar  36, Female, California, USA - 3 entries
    17
    Aug 2007
    12:33 AM EDT
       

    Dear Journal, i'm like really thinking i talked to my dad today and he seem kind of weird. most of time hes not like that but he seem out of it.
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    1 comment(s) - 09:24 PM - 08/17/2007
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        gemini232006  36, Male, Texas, USA - First entry!
    16
    Aug 2007
    10:15 PM EDT
       

    Sitting in the USO in Philedelphia, PA waiting for my flight at 01:57 a.m. is quite boring when my flight doesnt leave until 06:45 a.m. I cannot believe that the airlines dont open until 04:30 a.m., it's so rediculous, it's an international airport and they are closed. HAH what is this world coming to. 6 days leave will be great. I cant wait to see Josh and Emilee and the kids. And of course My Parents. I really feel like I need a full body massage right now. So damn sore from the training we've been doing the last few months. Its almost as if we never get enough sleep or rest to help our bodies recover from the strain. Iraq will definitely be a new experience and a hard one too. I never imagined myself here especially at my age. Everyone thinks I look 12 because of how short and tiny I am. lets thank grandma for that, at 4ft8 she seems to be shrinking a few inches a year. Theres that joke again on how shes gonna disappear soon. And she thinks shes fat, I had to laugh when the doctor said she had not an ounce of body fat on her and that why herdiabetes wasout of wack..My fellow soldiersare interesting and by far are going to be a goodfamily for the next year or so. Its kinda strange how such a mixture can bond so well. Whats funny is that I'm in the Philly airport but have never actually been to Philedelphia before. Seems to be happening to me more than I relaize. I get to say I was in this such city or that one because I flew to the airport and so on. My nephew tried to pronounce my name a few day ago, it was garbly but cute. I cant wait til he calls me on the phone on accident. My brother has his hands full, its amazing what kids can do to you. He's so happy and content. Now I guess It's my turn to find something that makes me feel happy and content. Doesnt even have to be happy...just content. I guess I'll continue to explore my options for my future. I still would like to try and go JAG but I dont care about the rank. and the reserves will try and make a specialist out of me yet. It wasnt the rank that I went into the military for, it was the fact that I could make a difference and help people. Well I guess I'll continue that stream of thought another day, I'm gonna try to catch some shuteye before havig to fly almost 5 hrs to Salt Lake. End 02:15 a.m.
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        wberpunk  38, Female, New York, USA - First entry!
    16
    Aug 2007
    6:52 PM EDT
       

    Steps 1-5: Getting Ready to Let Go Step 1. Admit you have a problem. Although this sounds easy, it often is the hardest step. Why is it that everyone else can see what's wrong, but you don't believe them? Are all those people who love you wrong? No. Your solution to painful feelings has been to control your body through your eating disorder. Now your eating disorder controls you. Admit it: Your life is out of control. Step 2. Believe two things: "Change is possible" and "I deserve to have a better life." Repeat these two statements to yourself, especially the one concerning a healthier, happier existence. Step 3. Make a decision to change. Decide to tolerate whatever feelings come up if you begin to change your behaviors surrounding food and your body. With the right support and the benefit of time, you will be able to tolerate the uncomfortable and unpredictable feelings that accompany change. Step 4. Make an inventory of the problems you need to address. Be honest about the things you do to hurt or punish yourself. Write down every symptom, from how you eat, to how you exercise, to how you punish yourself for eating, to how you try to lose weight, and to how you degrade and criticize yourself and try so hard to be perfect and need no one. All of these are behaviors you need to change. Again, be painfully honest about how you treat yourself—this inventory will help guide later steps to recovery. Step 5. Share your inventory with someone who can help you. In other words, come clean! Admit your problems and imperfections—people will still care about you. In fact, doing so may draw you closer to others, as they will begin to understand the agony you have been living. You won't have to "act" all the time, and you can concentrate on being yourself. Just be sure that the person you share this with really can help. Your doctor may be a good person to start with, but a therapist or dietitian can help you formulate an exact plan for the next steps. Steps 6-12—Giving up the Game Step 6. Develop a plan, but keep it simple. A contract needs to include attainable goals and not be overly ambitious or complicated. Otherwise, it will be overwhelming, just as your eating disorder is. Identify one problem and work on that. Do not set yourself up for failure by trying to change everything at once. The plan can include other people. Especially if you are young or living with your family, involving them can help. If they have a clearly defined role in your recovery, they may not get as frustrated and you can all live together more peacefully. An eating disorder is hard on everyone. Step 7. "Fake it till you make it." Changing any behavior is difficult and takes time before you feel better. Sometimes you have to do something for a long time before you sense a change. Try to believe that you're going to feel better, that the anxiety you feel as you take better care of your body will eventually disappear. Gradually it will, but obsessing over it and avoiding change only makes it worse. Step 8. Take life "one day at a time," or even "one meal at a time" or "one hour at a time." If you have trouble meeting your goal, start again. Give yourself another chance. You have probably had your eating disorder for a long time, and the problems leading up to it have been with you even longer. So be patient. Remember: ''Rome wasn't built in a day"; "No pain, no gain." Come up with some other sayings that will help you be more patient with yourself. Very few people can climb straight up a mountain. Step 9. Build in some rewards for your efforts. Recovery is hard work. Be sure to take care of yourself by indulging in things that will make you feel better. Find ways to soothe yourself. Reading affirmations, doing relaxation exercises, participating in favorite activities that are easy on your body will all help your spirits. List these rewards and allow yourself one of them every day. Step 10. Talk about how you feel as you make changes in therapy, in support groups, or in your interactions with trusted friends and family. As you change your behavior, more feelings will surface. To understand how these feelings contributed to your eating disorder, you need to talk, talk, talk. Writing in a journal each day can help you to remember the issues you want to discuss with your therapist. Remember: You can't do this by yourself. Step 11. Keep on changing. Each week take a look at your contract and decide if it is helping you now. Many people with eating disorders have multiple behaviors to change, so take a look at your inventory and decide which problem to attack next. However, it is also sometimes helpful to stay in the same place awhile. If you have worked hard and don't think you can do anything more right now, simply try to maintain the change you have made before moving on again. Step 12. Believe in yourself and give yourself some credit. Acknowledge what you have accomplished, then, when you are ready, refer to your contract and repeat the steps you have accomplished to reinforce your program. Because eating disorders are so complicated and you had to keep your contract simple, it is now time to review your progress and identify another behavior from your inventory to work on. http://www.mirror-mirror.org/eatdis.htm http://www.aliveness.net/index.htm http://users.neca.com/cwildes/ ttp://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/5395/ http://www.healthyWeightNetwork.com/ http://www.hugs.com http://www.healthyeating.com/ http://www.iop.bpmf.ac.uk/home/depts/psychiat/edu/eat.htm
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        Kimberly  42, Female, New Hampshire, USA - First entry!
    16
    Aug 2007
    9:23 AM EDT
       

    Hello everyone! This is my very first entry in here so bare with me, okay?
    yesterday was a hecktic day for me, but I must say my whole life has been that way.
    I don't really know what to say so i will go for now!
    Everyone have a great weekend.....
    - Kim
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        Nanda  36, Female, Switzerland - 3 entries
    15
    Aug 2007
    11:15 PM EET
       

    Today was not so much of a hectic day.
    I was at Starbucks by 8 in the morning! So imagine how early I woke up! Anyway, the manager was very nice. He needs a copy of all my papers (once again) and so I need to go back tomorrow. I think I go back there once more and I'll kill someone...lol! I feel like such a loser going there everyday! I swear :P

    The day was very hot! It was 32 degrees and I got a huge headache half way through the day which hasn't gone away -_- I read in the terrace while I read a little...I think I might've gotten a bit of a tan! haha. The girls' came over for lunch today! It was great. Karin fell asleep in my bed for about two hours -_- lmao.

    I also spoke to my parents today! :) They're so cute. I swear I miss them so much!! I can't wait till I see them in December and get pampered by my maid and grandma, mummy and daddy! hehehe.

    Filip comes home in 4 days. Waiting seems eternal :(

    Anyway, Im gonna go wash the dishes from dinner and then try to get some sleep. I need to rest since I think tomorrow I'll probably be going out to a bar or something and I have to wake up early the next day since I have class.

    Oh, I just downloaded a bunch of M2M songs, I was feeling nostalgic! haha

    Photo: Consuelo and I at the Fetes de Geneve!
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        auraleah  72, Female, New York, USA - 2 entries
    15
    Aug 2007
    7:11 AM EST
       

    In my youth, I was not aware that my expectations for others were set too high...thus, I had very few friends. But now that I am older, and I hope, wiser, I know that expecting too much from others leaves one alienated. Having high expectations of others, means having a self-serving agenda of my own, that I would like my friends, loved ones to adhere to against their own will. That would not be the way to honor those I care about.

    However, I do expect to be treated with respect where I have also done so. Accepting people in their entirety is a freeing and friend-keeping way to see others...but to accept negative behaviors that are abusive or intrusive to my overall health and well-being is not an option.

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        littlesmilie  36, Female, California, USA - 3 entries
    14
    Aug 2007
    12:37 PM EDT
       

    People say that we live to live that is not right we live to work and work to live
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        timi  46, Female, Texas, USA - First entry!
    13
    Aug 2007
    1:31 PM EST
       

    Love is...WOW...in its genuine form...indescribable. It's lowering yourself to elevate someone else. It's hurting and hating but longing and wanting and missing and happy and joy. its all the emotions in one. like white. pure. everything and nothing. that is love.
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        mochaluvr88  35, Female, North Carolina, USA - 3 entries
    10
    Aug 2007
    6:32 PM EDT
       

    i do not wish to tell any secrets on the public entry
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