Lots of bad and sads things have happened over the past month but I think things are looking up for me. I found out yesterday that I got the job at the vet clinic. It is a full time job and after my 90 day probation period I will be eligible for benefits. This is very important to my husband and I since we both have to see the doctor now on a monthly basis. My husband and I have been getting along very well lately and I am so happy for that. With my PMDD I know that when it is my time of month it my or may not be a bit of a challenge. Since I have been on the pill this month I have felt more leveled out and not like I'm on a roller coaster. i hope it stays this way so that I dont have to start taking the Celexa. It is suppose to help me out but I have finally stopped having anxiety attacks because Im taking the pill I dont want to add something else that may bring them on.� Sure some people dont understand how I could have anxiety attacks b/c of the pill but it is true. Not that I am saying its the pill that causes the attack but the fact of me having to take it and the fear of the side effects causes me to have the attacks. Well wish me luck for the rest of the day.
I was diagnosed with PMDD about two weeks ago. I found out after almost ending my marriage and after losing my job.� It has been a long road and I am just beginning.� My husband has been patient but it hasn't always been that way. My mood swings were so bad that he hated my 23 out of the 24 hours and I was probably asleep the hour he didnt hate me. I know hate is a strong word but I was really really bad. I could start crying for no reason or for reasons only I understood. I felt like I was losing my mind and wanted to sleep the day away because my mind would run away from reality. I have�a medication phobia so anything I take I worry about the side effects and am always checking my pulse.� I hate the way I feel during these times because I end up having an anxiety attack because of my fears. I live in fear 90% of the time and the rest of the time I am trying to convince myself that there is nothing to be afaid of. This is my life everyday all day. Trying to be a happy wife when you are not happy with your life is very hard. YOu try to put on a happy face for everyone around you but inside you are doing everything you can to not cry or scream at everything that you dont like.� I have turned to God to help me through it all even though I dont fully know if I actually believe in God himself. I hate even feeling this way but I am trying my best to be honest. When I was younger I would write in journals and it would help get a lot of the anger and fears out in the open even though the only eyes that saw the words were my own.� This is my therapy now so that I dont have to depend on medicine. I also use meditation and controlled breathing to get me through the ruff times. I am also working on my diet just to cut out things like lots of�sodas and salt. Well for now I will end this but be sure that more will come and it wont always be so pleasent.
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