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ladybug8000l 30, Female, Virginia, USA - First entry!

May 2008
3:26 PM EDT

hey its lily! most of you probably dont know me so ill start by talking about myself.....i live on the east coast, have lots of brothers and sisters, am a teenager, and this i loooooooove grilled cheese. ya, that was random...but whatever...so a couple weeks ago i got out of the hospital, not for a physical problem, a mental one...ya i went through a rough battle with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. but it wasnt my first go at it, i was in the hospital about a month earlier for the same reason. i was then diagnosed with PMDD(Pre Menstrual Dysphoria Dysfunction), it's kind of like PMS but with more serious symptoms, like horrible symptoms! but now they put me on the pill which is supposed to control my hormones a little bit...so we'll see what'll happen. anyways...there's this guy, reid...yeh he's one of my brothers friends, or used to be at least. he has been to my house two or three times and i never really thought much of him...up until now that is. somehow he got my cell phone number and has begun texting me almost obsessivly...no joke! well...first i guess i should tell you a little more about reid, physically...hes pretty tall, 15, blonde hair, really muscular, i forget what color eyes, and not so good teeth. so, i guess he sounds kinda cute, but now lets talk about his emotional problems. he is a really depressed person who has tried to kill himself at least three times(OD'd) but never really succeeded. he gets very attached to his girlfriends...one of his exes is in my class and she was head over heels for him...but he has a really low self esteem and image, but he also brags alot...so it's kinda weird but w/e. anyways...he has confessed his love for me and repeatedly refers to me as hun, babe, babygirl, and beautiful babygirl. i guess you could call it flattering, but honestly it makes me feel like im his granddaughter or something, ya its creepy! so he just keeps on talking to me about how much he wishes he could be with me, and how he wants to bite me on the neck and suffocate me with kisses. you know what i mean, like he's always saying how all he wants is for me to be in his arms. and when i told him i fell down the stairs today at school and hurt my knee(ouch!) he was all like omg i wish i could have been there to catch you, and thats not even the half of it! he says im the only person that makes him somewhat happy and he wont be happy until im in his arms...and that im the only girl he trusts, and i deserve any guy i want and so on...im not mean to him, but i can be cold...i dont want him to think i really like him like that, i dont want to hurt him though...so i just kind of talk to him nonchalontly(no idea how to spell that) but then he tells me that his mom is making him move to new jersey in four months...i was like aww well maybe it will be good...and hes like no im staying, for you, no matter what. i told him he didnt have to do that for me and that once he got there he would forget about our boring little town and all the people in it, including me. he said he would never forget me no matter what. i asked him how he was going to get out of it, and he just insists that he will find a way...i dont see how, but whatever...yeh so then there's this guy we have living with us, he is a foreign exchange student from china...yah well we have a little bit or a romance, to say the least. i mean we make out and hang out and he has touched my boobs! ew i know right! that is a whole other story...well there's only one problem, its illegal for us to date or anything like that, hes an adult legally, and im not...well its kinda too late now. i dont even know what to do, and he wants me to help him decide whether or not to go to oklahoma for the summer for ESL but im like uhm dont ask me...i tried to explain to him that i dot want him to go buti dont want to keep him from something he really wants to do and might regret not doing later, so he flipped a coin and hes going. yah i mean im not happy about it but w/e, i guess if he really didnt want to go, then he wouldnt. so yeh my hands are getting realllllly tired.....

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1 comment(s) - 02:01 PM - 05/28/2008

clintloner21 34, Female, Texas, USA - 5 entries

May 2008
7:04 AM EDT

I'm so excitied this is my last day of school graduation is in a couple of day as well may 28 2008!!!!!!!

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Catdevil 33, Female, Illinois, USA - 8 entries

May 2008
3:51 PM EDT

hey.. well yeah... im almost a junior in high school. counserling is being demanded by ,my teachers n counselor.. wonder who the teachers are...

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fELiCiAx33 33, Female, Pennsylvania, USA - First entry!

May 2008
2:07 PM EDT

Bored...

blah blah i was just watching sex and the city, and now its over :[

im so in love with sex and the city, carey is my favorite.

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ChristineA 49, Female, Texas, USA - 10 entries

May 2008
10:25 AM EDT

Things are Looking up

Lots of bad and sads things have happened over the past month but I think things are looking up for me. I found out yesterday that I got the job at the vet clinic. It is a full time job and after my 90 day probation period I will be eligible for benefits. This is very important to my husband and I since we both have to see the doctor now on a monthly basis. My husband and I have been getting along very well lately and I am so happy for that. With my PMDD I know that when it is my time of month it my or may not be a bit of a challenge. Since I have been on the pill this month I have felt more leveled out and not like I'm on a roller coaster. i hope it stays this way so that I dont have to start taking the Celexa. It is suppose to help me out but I have finally stopped having anxiety attacks because Im taking the pill I dont want to add something else that may bring them on.� Sure some people dont understand how I could have anxiety attacks b/c of the pill but it is true. Not that I am saying its the pill that causes the attack but the fact of me having to take it and the fear of the side effects causes me to have the attacks. Well wish me luck for the rest of the day.

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lalaland 45, Female, Oregon, USA - First entry!

May 2008
10:12 AM EDT

The Ex Life

�So I have been back "home" now for 11 days and it seems I have already dissapointed my parents just as many times.� Sunny So Cal feels colder than ever to me.�� Which maybe is why I was compelled to seek out a little warmth from the past.� The past to which I still cling SO hard.� So I people searched and googled him to no avail.� But finally, I went on to my space- the virtual down town coffee shop of this decade- and with a few clicks and scrolls THERE HE WAS!�

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bikingchina 40, Male, Minnesota, USA - 7 entries

May 2008
9:15 AM CST

Travel Route

�

Follow Us on Our Journey

Below you will find our travel itinerary. Barring any unforeseen circumstances, we will be setting off from Beijing on June 13th 2008, and ending in Hong Kong on July 24th 2008. Realistically speaking, however, our dates and destinations will most likely fluctuate. The trip will take us from Northern China to Southern China following the Eastern seaboard. Or, if you are partial to the rooster analogy of China, we’ll be traveling from the Neck to the Gut following the outline of the Belly.

Trip Breakdown

Biking Days: 31

Volunteering Days: 4

Rest Days: 5

Total Distance: 3455KM

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Alliee 30, Male, Tennessee, USA - 2 entries

May 2008
5:22 PM EDT

Love=)

As We grow up,we learn that even the one person that wasn't suppose to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken Probably more then once and its harder everytime. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You'll fight with your bestfriend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing to fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures. Laugh to much. And love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

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2 comment(s) - 03:18 PM - 06/01/2008

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blackroseangel 32, Female, Louisiana, USA - 27 entries

May 2008
1:29 PM CDT

things are going sorta great..i think my love bart is actually want to go back with me..idk i hope so i beg for that..i love him so much that i want him back so much,,,that is my only wish i want is for bart to love me back as much as i love him and we be together..so corny but so true..that is my only wish

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fantasyrose16 33, Female, Colorado, USA - 4 entries

May 2008
7:08 AM MST

Its beenso long! Like seriously! Wow. Oh well I am back again. Alot has changed these past few months. Sam and I broke up for good. He has a new gf now. I must admit I am a little jealous. But hey what ever happens happens for a reason. And I will tell you now I know the reason: I am engaged! Yes engaged! I am so happy and the guy I am to marry is amazing! His name is Cody Hughes. So I am now Heidi Hughes. Call me Heidi Ziegler and I will be very mad. Lol. So ya he lives in Texas and I cant wait to see him. We met online and we plan to meet for the first time in August. I cant wait! Well�I am off more later.

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