Hey baby,
How was your day? Mine was good just bored now.� I like my job but wish I had more time to see you and the kids.� I am so tired of not being able to see you guys like I used to.� I just wish that I would of saved money awhile ago and we could of got a place sooner then me having to live all the way out here.� I hope that I can start driving some more so soon I can get my license so I can come and see you more then I do already.� I also hate working this 12:30 till 9 shit because I can't really do anything because of the shit that I have to come straight home after work because my mom picks me up.� I�get so bored out here and when I am not with you all I do is think about you.� Thinking about you don't help like it does when I see you.�
When Ashley came in today and told me that she saw you on trick or treat and you told her that we weren't together that really did hurt me because I have had that happen to me before but I talked to you about it and atleast it didn't start a fight and that you still are talking to me.��I thought about it before I started flipping out because one I�should be able to believe you over anyone and two if I would of started a fight we wouldn't of talked for�a week because that is normally what happends.� I am just surprised that your ex doesn't come in and say shit like I thought she would.�
well baby I�love you and going to go I will talk to you in a little bit.�
I'm sitting in this room,
with no way to get through,
to you.
I'm sitting on this chair,
waiting to see,
your head,
pop in through the door.
But you don't really care about me,
anymore!
I'm done, for ever,
because no matter,
what you say,
life does go on,
some way...
-sighs-
I hate it when my bro is in his room. I�can't look for stuff. STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID. I need my ipod's usb cable. NOW. How am i supposed to sync my other songs in. Plus, hes in a bad mood so chances are that even IF�i knock on his door he'd tell me to fuck off.-Sad. I�know.��- Waiting for my phone bill to come. 'cause then that would mean i would have unlimited texting which is REALLY bothering me because i feel the need to text. I have so much to say. Talking on the phone is soOOOOO yesterday. Literally.-----love love love my phone. love it. SOOOOOO MUCH.-----I�know.. i'm not really typing anything "real"� I'M JUST TRYING TO WASTE TIME. cuz sooner or later he will come out of his room and go shower... cuz he stinks. then i could go in reeeeeeeeal quick and find what i'm looking for.
Now if you'll excuse me... i'm gonna go tell him that he stinks. REAL BAD.
love
blahbee ANNOYED
Buy Usborne childrens books online at www.the-reading-coner.org
Wow. I can't believe it's already been 6 months since that last post. A lot has happened since then..
1. I started to see a Psychologist. I actually went once in late April; I went to my school's Counseling Center and set up an appointment. After that initial visit, I think I was more angry than ever. All the lady did was say "mmhmm", "okay", "that must have been terrible", etc, all in the most cheesy fake voice ever. I was so frustrated with her!�After that, our schedules weren't quite in synch so I didn't see her again.. my school only allows students to seek help while they're enrolled, so once summer started and I wasn't taking any classes, I couldn't see her.
2. I went back on Monday the 19th. Mostly because I found out from a relative two-and-a-half weeks ago that my mom had an abnormal pap smear, and was going to have to have a biopsy done to see if it was cancer. Well, to make a long story short, my mom actually called me after I found out, and we cried on the phone a lot, but I told her I was worried about her. It really made me realize that even though I hate my parents for some of the things they've done/the way they've treated me, I still would care if something bad happened to them. That fact really confused the hell out of me, so I made an appointment with Dr. F (the psychologist I saw in April).
3. Mom's fine. She texted me that her results came back "precancerous" which means she just has to go back every 6 months for 3 years, and she'll pretty much be fine. Can you believe she TEXTED me that?! I at least expected a phone call.. the nerve of her!
4. I've been pretty mellow lately, with only a few (one or two) bitchy outbursts since April. However... R (my boyfriend) has been really really rude.. like when I don't understand something within seconds after he says it and I ask him a question, he gets SO�angry and tells me I'm an idiot. I have been reacting really slowly lately, especially to things I should be quick with (i.e. I've always been good at math, but for some reason can't add correctly lately??)
That's it for now.. I'll write again soon (Dr. F is "requiring" me to start journaling on a more frequent basis to get my feelings out)
Christina
Hi! I am Winifer (real name is Winnie, but I like Winifer more) I live in HK. I am glad to talk to everybody about my happiness and troubleness. But everyone be careful, I am a very talkitive person (HAHA). Hope you enjoy my journal!
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