I just opened my facebook a while ago. I was quite surprised when I saw 2 messages from my ex-boyfriend.�The first message said "I love you". It was kind of weird for him to send that message, since I knew, that he loves Ruth,my bestfriend and also my bestfriend. The second message was more weirder. It says, "It's a waste. We can't see each other again. Can I still court you? I love you. Can you please come back?".� I couldn't believe�that he would write something like that. Then, I saw another message below. He said he was sorry for sending a message like that. His classmate was the one who sent the message to me and was just making fun. The two messages were too good to be true. Well, at least, it's clear that he was not the one who sent it. Or else, I don't know what I'm gonna do to him.
Wow, it has been a loooong time since I wrote. I have just been too busy to get on the computer, much less come on here. A lot has happened since the day I got my nose pierced. I broke my ankle 2 weeks ago, but it's almost better now thank goodness. And I also lost my friends. I guess it's just teenage drama but I'll let you know what happened anyway simply for the fact that I need to vent and I can't trust anyone else. I know you won't tell. lol So anyways, my friends have helped me with my stuff the past 2 weeks. Ya know getting around school and everything since I was on crutches and whatnot. So one of my best friends got a new phone. The next day it fell out of her pocket book and broke while she was helping me. Now, apparently, it's my fault. She has practically the whole school hating me and every one is calling me a b**** and saying I'm rude and blah blah blah. I have never gotten so many hate texts in my life! Well, I had an emotional meltdown at school today and I did the unthinkable-I cried. In front of everyone. And not once, but twice. I hate crying in front of people; it makes me feel so weak and vulnerable. Well, now I'm friendless and every one hates me. I didn't even do anything! I mean, I know people who are guilty always say that but I am honestly telling the truth! I. did. nothing. wrong. But, of course everyone blames me, the crippled. I always get blamed for everything! So, like, literally the whole school hates me. Every time I hobble by they whisper about me like I can't even hear them. But oh well. This too shall pass, and karma's a beast. They will soon regret ever giving me up. And if they don't then I didn't really need them to begin with. Right? I don't need them and their drama and their talking about people. I may be a "b****" but at least I'm a nice one. And I really do believe that I'm a good friend. Others might not think that but who cares? I'll eventually find some one who is a true friend; some one who is worth my time and my tears. I regret crying, I really do. I think they were tears of anger. I think I know why the loners at school are...well...loners. It is probably best to be a loner. At least you don't have to put up with anyone's bullcrap. But I am a Libra, a social butterfly. I just have to socialize or I will go insane! I just don't know what to do. I guess I will try to be a loner since no one wants to talk to me. Since I have become a leper. *sigh* Why do things have to crash and burn right when life is starting to get good? But maybe life wasn't getting good then, maybe it's getting good now. Maybe I was supposed to break my ankle so that I would open my eyes and realize (I rhymed heehee) that my "friends" were wearing a big fat mask the whole time. True, it does hurt. A whole year of friendship went right down the toilet, but maybe it's for the best. Like a quote by Publilious Syrus, "A friendship that can end never really began." Maybe our friendship never even began. So, I don't know what's going to happen. I'm gonna just go to school and hold my head held high and act like being hated don't bother me. Now that that little rant is over with I am gonna go read some before bed. Wish me luck and merry Christmas everyone!
ok.....� so it hit me that there was something else i need to get out today.....so i had this "friend"....� and i thought that she was a normal, wonderful girlfriend.� She has breast cancer.� we went through a couple of scares since i have known her but she has been very blessed and has been healed of all the inoperable issues that she was told she had.� My kids were friends with her kids before we were friends.� our daughters were best friends and my daughter would spend days at their house. even after her son and my daughter became bf/gf, i trusted her enough to still allow my daughter to spend the night there.� her family and my girls all went to the same church.� that is how they met.� due to circumstances unknown to me, she decides that its in her families best interest to change churches.� she lets me know that they are changing and that in her opinion i shouldn't let my kids go to that church any more either.� that she would be happy to pick them up and drop them off if they wanted to go to her new church.� i told her that i didn't have any problem with them going to church with her if that's what they wanted.� so one night she decides that she's going to take them to church with her.� only they have already been dropped off and their church.� because of our previous conversation, she comes to the conclusion that it will be ok for her to go to their church and pick them up.� which she does and in the process causes a huge scene.� but she didn't take all my kids and she didn't just take the one that is friends with her daughter.�� she takes the one that's friends with her daughter and my youngest.� who is still in a car seat.....� in a car that is not made to carry that many people and that does not have a car seat.....
ok� they are yelling at me to finish dinner.....�
to be continued.......
so to continue...� she was able to take my oldest and yougest from the church to her new church...� my oldest had no idea what was going on and only went with her because she was told that her dad told them to pick her up.� being this was the day before i was supposed to have surgery, she was afraid that something was wrong with me.� and she chose to take her baby sister with her because of the fact that she had her with her at church and thought she was doing the right thing keeping the little one with her.� but somehow in all this i have been played out to be the crazy bad guy.� she has deleted me from all her social networking sites and cut off our friendship.� so now this is a person that at one time i considered my friend but now would only refer to her as an acquaintance.
as far as friends go, after my surgery i had a surprise delivery of groceries and odds and ends from a mystery friend.� I had another couple of friends bring me ice cream and movies.� I had a visit from a friend today with a dp and necessities that we need.� These are friends.� the ones who at the very least post on�my facebook every couple of days checking on me.� I have learned from this that i have the best friends ever.� and that really i don't need anymore friends.� the ones i have a more than wonderful and love and care about me more than i probably deserve.� So i will live my life with the beautiful, wonderful, loving friends god has blessed me with and everyone else from now on will be acquaintances.�
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