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Since meeting Shawn on the dating site, my days seem as though there is more color in everything I view, I find that I can laugh at myself, laugh to myself and just smile for no reason... most of the time it is from something that he said during any one of our conversations.

Although we had initially agreed to meet in a couple of weeks, we both can't wait that long.� If he's not considering a chance to come out here to meet me, I am considering a chance to go down there to meet him, it's a crazy, whirlwind, lack of planning notion and one that we have both came very close to doing at one time or another.

So we swapped ideas, made some changes that we both felt comfortable with and will be seeing each other on Sunday.

Is it possible to find someone so perfect for me and not even know him yet?

Wow, it has been a loooong time since I wrote. I have just been too busy to get on the computer, much less come on here. A lot has happened since the day I got my nose pierced. I broke my ankle 2 weeks ago, but it's almost better now thank goodness. And I also lost my friends. I guess it's just teenage drama but I'll let you know what happened anyway simply for the fact that I need to vent and I can't trust anyone else. I know you won't tell. lol So anyways, my friends have helped me with my stuff the past 2 weeks. Ya know getting around school and everything since I was on crutches and whatnot. So one of my best friends got a new phone. The next day it fell out of her pocket book and broke while she was helping me. Now, apparently, it's my fault. She has practically the whole school hating me and every one is calling me a b**** and saying I'm rude and blah blah blah. I have never gotten so many hate texts in my life! Well, I had an emotional meltdown at school today and I did the unthinkable-I cried. In front of everyone. And not once, but twice. I hate crying in front of people; it makes me feel so weak and vulnerable. Well, now I'm friendless and every one hates me. I didn't even do anything! I mean, I know people who are guilty always say that but I am honestly telling the truth! I. did. nothing. wrong. But, of course everyone blames me, the crippled. I always get blamed for everything! So, like, literally the whole school hates me. Every time I hobble by they whisper about me like I can't even hear them. But oh well. This too shall pass, and karma's a beast. They will soon regret ever giving me up. And if they don't then I didn't really need them to begin with. Right? I don't need them and their drama and their talking about people. I may be a "b****" but at least I'm a nice one. And I really do believe that I'm a good friend. Others might not think that but who cares? I'll eventually find some one who is a true friend; some one who is worth my time and my tears. I regret crying, I really do. I think they were tears of anger. I think I know why the loners at school are...well...loners. It is probably best to be a loner. At least you don't have to put up with anyone's bullcrap. But I am a Libra, a social butterfly. I just have to socialize or I will go insane! I just don't know what to do. I guess I will try to be a loner since no one wants to talk to me. Since I have become a leper. *sigh* Why do things have to crash and burn right when life is starting to get good? But maybe life wasn't getting good then, maybe it's getting good now. Maybe I was supposed to break my ankle so that I would open my eyes and realize (I rhymed heehee) that my "friends" were wearing a big fat mask the whole time. True, it does hurt. A whole year of friendship went right down the toilet, but maybe it's for the best. Like a quote by Publilious Syrus, "A friendship that can end never really began." Maybe our friendship never even began. So, I don't know what's going to happen. I'm gonna just go to school and hold my head held high and act like being hated don't bother me. Now that that little rant is over with I am gonna go read some before bed. Wish me luck and merry Christmas everyone!

I am quite happy for these few days~

shiong na dmangkuk came to my house yesterday~^^

and at night me and mangkuk went to shiong house~so happy~^^haha

i finally got a chance to explore his house~^^

we had our dinner near by shiong house and my mum came to fetch me at about 11 oclock in the mamak stall infront shiong house~^^

these few day i usually having arguement with my mum==

i hate it!

how come she can be so fussy and yet talking about something without logic......

wat's wrong came out from her mouth and wat's right also came out from her mouth.........wat ever she said is correct for herself ONLY.......

every time also like this.......

hate it!!!

yew no longer my bestfriend already...........

i found that he never treat us as his best friend...........a bit hurt......

but nvm lo~

i still have shiong hui and mangkuk wat~^^

hope days can just as normal as wat i have~^^

exam coming~^^

need bug up already!!! gambateh lo!!

exam is coming, for the following week we ned to bug up already!

there are still many works for me to do==homework and also notes~

but there are also many things happen for this few days==

yew fail in the singing competition......feel very sorry for him.......

and yet the teacher days audition is coming......

and the mid-term exam is coming......

shiong is also very busy........feel very sorry ........coz i can do nth to help him.......

he is a very pour thing.......

he�being as�a leader so that need to have meeting every day during recess and yet being hungry but eat nth.......

and�since exam is coming.......

he is�being stressful with all the things he need to do.......feel sorry to him.....

busy busy busy thats wat he got==

everyday reach school study then recess time go meeting and then study again....after school go society or tuition.........everyday also reach home after 9 or 10 o clock......then bath and sleep........and next morning wake up at the early 5 and go school study meeting and others keep repeating..........

this is wat he do for everyday.......

for me.......i still got time to ress and even play.......but he have no choice.......

so心疼......haiz.........

if ony i could help him on........

and since exam is coming, he need to have more time�to study and do revision.....but no! he have no time.......

hope that i could help him.........at least i can teach him about the studies........so i also need to bug up already........

if not, i might coz his result getting worse becoz of my careless mistake on teaching like last time...........

so lo==

i really cares u de leh~

so u must let me know wat r u thinking wor~and let me know when u really need help~^^

and i will always be there for u~^^