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���� People always seem very skeptical when they know I’m in dental school. I noticed their disbelieve immediately after I tell them what I study. I even told my husband to keep a close look on people's� face when I tell them I’m a dental student, just so he can report to me later. At first , my husband was sure it was my imagination, but he came to realize that peoples expressions were a little off, not to say "shocked".

���� I always considered myself a hardworking person. �I was never an "A" student or a "B” student. I was more the "C" or "D" student. Not because I did not work hard. It was more the opposite to be sincere. I worked so hard; that it was hard to believe I was a C - D student. I came in terms with myself�“I was just not the brightest" I did not see anything wrong with that. Until, when people would call me names like “slow", "stupid" or " God I give up you won't get it". That is when i started to realize that maybe I was a little slower than pretty much everyone in my class.

���� Growing up in Brazil, I had many other things to worry about than school. I grow up with my�dad and grandmother. We were not a rich family; I matter fact my dad struggled to make the ends meet. My mother is American and my dad is Brazilian. I always wondered�what was my mom�thinking when left me in Brazil at the age of three. Now� that I am living here in the United States, I understand perfectly why she did what she did. My mom always want us to have what she never had a " family".

���� My mother left my sister, my brother and myself�the care of our grandmother. My brother was from her first marriage. Now my sister and I were from her second relationship� ... I really don't think I can call that marriage, since she was never married to my father.�

���� My mom left us at a very young age. I remember her vaguely when I was little. I fell like a lot of the emotional struggles I have today were a result of her leaving us. I never blamed her for what she had done. I think it was very brave of her to live all her kids in a search to better their lives. With that being said, I think if wasn't for her living us; I would never be able to get an education here in the states or ever have meet the love of my life. That is why I’m a true�believer that�there is always a reason for why God does what he does.

�� So, here I start the journey of a lifetime. Coming out a poor city from the north of Brazil and ���not know any English at all; At the age of seventeen, I left all I ever had, friends and family to come and live with a women that I� barely knew. I had to learn a new language; new culture, and� a new life.�

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"My heart today smiles at its past night of tears

like a wet tree glistening in the sun

after the rain is over"

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I REALLY LOVE THE MAN I'M WITH HE MEANS ALOT TO ME BUT WE ARE NOT THE SAME ANYMORE WE HAVE DRIFTED APART AND THE FIRE IS BURNING ON ITS LAST LOG I KNOW I MESSED UP OUR RELATIONSHIP FROM THE START BUT I CAN'T BEAT MYSELF UP ABOUT THAT IT WAS OVER A YEAR AGO NOW HERE I AM TRYING TO BE WITH A MAN AND WONEDERING AT THE SAME TIME DOES HE LOVE ME OR WILL HE TEAR MY HEART OUT. THE REASON FOR ME SAYING THIS IS BECAUSE WHEN I CHEATED HE CHEATED SO THERE WENT THE TRUST AND WE TRIED SEPARATEING BUT TADA HERE WE ARE AND NOW I'M BEYOND OF PUTTING STREETS IN OUR RELATIONSHIP AND STRIVEING TO GET BACK OUR SHINE HE HAS CHANGED AND ALL THE SIGNS ARE THERE FOR ME TO AT LEAST ASSUME HE'S CHEATING AND IF YOU HAVE BEEN CHEATED ON YOU KNOW WHAT SIGNS I'M TALKING ABOUT THE YES AND NO CONVERSATIONS,PUTTING THE PHONE ON SILENT OR HERE'S THEGOOD ONE NOT COMEING HOME HMM MAKES ME REALLY WONDER....

Hey everyone,

� so im new to thiss. haha. just a little bit about me, um i live in a little town in texass. 17, sophomore. and have a complicated life. haha. in a wayy. here to meet people so get at me (;

�� � �I'm new to this but am willing to give it a try. Hopefully, keeping a journal will help my mind from continously running && jumping from one thing to the next. I'm 19 about to turn 20 in Feb. I have been married for a little over a year to a wonderful man. I have beautiful daughter that is 5 months old. I don't know what I would do without them in my life.�

�� � �As of my life right now....... Its difficult like it is for most people these days. Theres no jobs and money is tight and you try to stay sane from all the stress your under. I dropped out of school when I was 16 and now I'm finally trying to go back and finish. I'm finding that its alot harder than it sounds. I'm so rusty; its really frustrating.�

�� � � � � � � � � � I'm on a journey to bettering myself and reaching my goal. <3

I didn't realise I could actually dislike someone as much I dislike someone right now. I choose the word dislike because hate is a strong word, and when I'm angry and I actually hate this person very much. Why can life never be simple for me?

Today I spent the morning with my husband Tyler. �He's so wonderful. �He's great with my kids. �This morning I heard a great analogy. �I'm Barney, he's Attila the Hun. �We went to church, then I had to go to work.

Change. It's an inevitable thing. We have to change in order to grow and learn from mistakes. If not we'd all be making the same mistakes over and over again...like driving around a traffic circle and never making a turn to get out of it. Every once in a while, though, people change for the worst. Or that's how one can view it. Sometimes it's a gradual thing, sometimes sudden. Either way, it's usually left you with a bad taste in your mouth.

It's a bit sad, really, when you once believed in a person and now no longer do. When helping them & supporting them was something you did because you wanted to. You cared to. Now it's something you hardly think about. No energy to help someone who would rather associate with people "higher" up with more "connections." Here you thought they actually cared about you but now it's clear that was false. They cared about the help you were providing...and now that they can get it elsewhere you are no longer needed. You see what type of person they have become... Although, come to think of it. Maybe it's not just them who has changed maybe it's yourself. Maybe you've changed to see who they are, having been a bit jaded before... Wow. How writing thoughts down makes you think. Anyway. It's just a rude awakening when all of the hard work you ever put in (at your own will because you wanted to) seems to have been a waste of time...

I probably would have gone down the same path. Knowing them, helping them perhaps just not as much. At the end of the day, I can rest my head on my pillow and fall fast asleep into dreams of whatever is in my head & heart. I wasn't out to seek anything from anybody, I was (and still am true to myself & other people). I don't expect anything from anybody. I don't use people for my own selfish purposes. It's not who I am. I'm the helper type that tends to get stomped on by those who use others, time and time again. It's something I can't turn off or learn from. I can't change that. But I never forget the behaviors of other people.

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-So reading this back I realize it started out as one thing and ended up another. Still on the same topic but a bit off from one another. But I'm going to keep it this way. Hopefully it's coherent enough to follow along.

Some Great Thoughts to live by.....

The best and most beautiful things
in the world
cannot be seen or even touched -
they must be felt by the heart

Hellen Keller