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I wrote down everything about what had happened, but�it got deleted... Maybe it was for the best.�
�Maybe things will get better now that I let it all out. Or maybe they will get worse.
� Latly everything seems to just be getting worse. School, my relationships with my friends, the thoughts, the memories.
� I'm not sure how to deal with it all. I know how I used to cope but... I promised him I would stop. And I will NOT break that promise! Not again...
�
I keep telling myself that if I could just hold out a little longer things will get better but I wait, and wait, and wait, and nothing changes.

� Maybe there's something wrong with me. Maybe I'm just not meant to be trully happy. There are times when I start to think that I could actually be happy but then something else happens.
� I know crap happens to everyone but for once could the world give me a break?! for just five minutes?! I just want one day were I dont' have to worry about things going wrong. One day when I don't have those thoughts. One day were I don't have to be afraid of me having a melt down in front of my family and friends.�
��� One day. That's all I want.

�

�We listen to their cries of pain,

As we take the enemy's name in vein.

For they too think alike,

And release their rage with a terrible might.

So why a war, this war we fight,

Does peace not shed its golden light?

Instead we give eachother hell,

And along the way, others as well.

This war must end, some way, some how,

It must end not later, but now.

For in the end no one wins,

In the end it's only sins.

So why a war, this war we fight,

Is their no end in my sight?

Dear mother,

you've hurt me you see,

you could never believe in me.

Can't you see that.

dear mother,

you chose between your own daughters,

left one for the slaughter,

and stole the other one away.

Dear mother,

you hurt your own daughter,

or did i hurt my-self?

Dear Mother,

Why am i satan's child from hell?

Well wat if i,

grew wings and fly.

would you believe in me the way you should?

Or what if i,

broke down to cry,

would you hold me like you should?

Or what if i throw my self out a second story window,

would you care for me,

dying in my own reflection,

can't you see?:

You chose between your own daughters,

only if I was smarter,

Maybe you would've choosen me?

You chose between your own daughers,

and now one's no longer,

willing to fight,

since you left her life.

Dear mother,

I'm sorry for who i've been,

but you can't change who i am,

so i let this go....

She looked into his eyes,

time after time,

to now believe that she would never,

again,

See those eyes,

that always made her smile.

"So remember,

it's never Good-Bye;

Just see you in a while,"

he said as he spoke,

about the dead.

"Remember,

it's the smiles,

that mean so much more,

than tears.

Let God unsurpress all of your fears."

She smiled and bowed her head,

as her eyes turned red,

because of tears she's tasted,

knowing this time,

they weren't wasted.

KL

Today,

I feel lost,

because in all reality,

this is what it costs.

I'm upset and broken,

toren down and misspoken.

Today,

I feel lost.

Over there,

I see it,

somethings telling me,

to pull away.

But even as I do,

it will help to dance the pain away.

Today,

I'm lost.