view member journals

Internal war

Perfect Illusion
�

Part 1:

They torment me,
�

Inside my home,
�

Never being anything,
�

Except truly alone.
�

Feeling the weight,
�

Put me under pressure,
�

Hating to let go,
�

Of life’s easy pleasures.
�

Of course they don’t know me,
�

The one who soul,
�

Still bleeds…
�

�

Part 2:
�

Why?
�

People have lied all my life,
�

They have left me with so many questions and two little answers.
�

Begging to hold on to happiness,
�

Pleading to let go.
�

I have no simple ery,
�

No place to go.
�

They see me smile,
�

But do not se the scars,
�

From when I was but a mere child.
�

They wonder why I act so happy,
�

But most of my family,
�

Can see the brokenness inside.
�

I am chocking on my words.
�

And loosing it all too quick,
�

Now’s not the time,
�

To play any tricks.
�

�

Part 3:
�

I stand,
�

Leaning over,
�

The sink.
�

Taking a good look,
�

At the image Staring back at me.
�

Holding my self up.
�

As I begin to bleed.
�

This blood is shed,
�

This blood is lost.
�

This is my escape from death.
�

I stare up into the sky.
�

Wanting so much to be apart of it.
�

Never knowing what part I’m left with.

�

Part 4:
�

Listening the others around,
�

They do notice me,
�

But they don’t know,
�

How often I’ve fallen to the ground.
�

I fight to many wars inside,
�

To keep the happiness alive.
�

I jump from,
�

One emotion to the next.
�

They can’t see,
�

The hurt that hides inside my chest.
�

Looking deep into my thoughts.
�

Breaking down,
�

When ever thoughts,
�

Of my father cross.
�

�

Part 5:
�

He never meant to hurt me,
�

Or at least he says so…
�

He’ll always says,
�

“I’ll protect you from pain,”
�

But the only pain I feel,
�

Is the pain that he parades.
�

Cracking in my voice,
�

I try not to speak.
�

Everything,
�

Just makes me feel so weak.
�

Hating what I’ve become,
�

Falling into the numb.

�

�

Part 6:
I’m feeling too banged up,
�

This emotion stuck in my gut.
�

He’s holding me closely,
�

And promises t will be ok.
�

He’s to innocent for me,
�

To dance the days away
�

�

I ask him from something,
�

He thinks I need a better way,
�

But I demand,
So he gives it to me anyway.
�

Just six hits,
�

That’s all it’ll take,
�

Just six hits,
�

And I won’t have to break.
�

I feel so dizzy,
�

My mind flows into the party.
�

�

I can barely grasp what’s happening,
�

Yet I’m laughing hysterically.
�

If the world moves too fast,
�

I beg it to slow down,
�

As I fall to the ground.
�

I don’t notice I’m falling,
�

Until I start to bleed.
�

Hating my self,
�

Because the world hates me.
�

�

Part 7:
�

Picking up the lighter,
�

And a pack of menthols,
�

No one sees me better,
�

Compared to this,
�

No one at all.
�

Chocking one down after another,
�

No one sees but me.
�

Laughing at the intimate.
�

Hacking at the porn.
�

Taking it all in,
�

And finally blowing out.
�

This is the one thing,
�

I’ll never really doubt.
�

Getting pissed at the world,
�

No one knew what I could do,
�

No one except me,
�

And now you.
�

���
�

�

Part 8:
�

See I’m the perfect illusion,
�

I get good grades,
�

I hide the pain,
�

I keep my other life secret,
�

And I don’t talk of the streets.
�

Now you can see,
�

Five minutes in the life of me.
�

EVERY ONE,

LOVE AND SORROW'S BEING PUNLISHED!!!!!!

I enterd a poetry contest,

they loved the poem,

and yes,

it's really happening.

ttyl on the book for which it will be in.

thx.

XD

Love,

KL

Incase you don't me,

don't feel sorry.

incase,

im just lost,

it's ok,

I'll find my way some day.

Do I know me?

sure i do.

but incase if i haven't told you lately,

I'm KL,

I write,

thats it,

and yes,

I'm proud of it.

Today,

I feel lost,

because in all reality,

this is what it costs.

I'm upset and broken,

toren down and misspoken.

Today,

I feel lost.

Over there,

I see it,

somethings telling me,

to pull away.

But even as I do,

it will help to dance the pain away.

Today,

I'm lost.

im hoping as im looking,

for you.

hoping that i'll see,

A better side of you and me.

I need to open my eyes.

Because we're over and dead.

I lost some where in side my head.

just� like alice in wonderland.

now as im looking threw that history book,

of our memories.

i am lost,

like a kid in a movie scene.

so find me,

and kiss me good night.

because right now,

i am lost from sight.

everytime,

i feel fine,

comfortable if you will,

you some how make me ill.

over and over i break,

over and over i hate,

over and over,

it's my mistake.

over and over,

It's my fault.

now im looking up,

the sky seems so full of lust.

over and over i am dead,

over and over bright red tears are bled.

over and over im stuck way up high,

over and over i am ready to die.

so now that� it's over my head.

i must turn my self up and in to the lord.

to protect this shattered heart.

keep the broken pieces still beating,

and never ever leave me.

see over and over,

man will hurt,

but over and over GOD proves his work.

over and over,

we shatter and break,

over and over THE GOOD LORD,

is our every� comfort.�

so please don't cry.

wipe those tearfs from said eyes.

and turn your head to the sky,