Once again I'm welmed up into confusion. Which way do I go? This past year in school, I told a boy that I had feelings for him. He also had the same feelings... and you get what happened. But he wasn't ready to 'ask me out' yet. My friends were suspicious and nudged him to talk to me once n' awhile. He never did. I just thought he was shy. One night when talking online, he said it. He said "I love you." This caught me off guard. Did I feel this way too? I didn't say it back. Again, about a month later, he said those words again. "I love you." I said it back. I meant it. The day after the last day of school came. We had a dance and lock-in in our school. It was time for us to finally get together. Nothing was happening.... the dance was cut short (no slow dances) and we went straight to the lock-in. During a hide n seek game thing, I pulled him aside and asked him why he wasn't talking to me... more of ignoring me. We held hands as he "explained". Our first moment together. And.. our last. About a month into the summer, not seeing him, he decided to say we were 'over.' What I don't understand, is why. We were NEVER together, we BARELY talked, but yet he kept telling me that he LOVED me, and that he was so happy that I liked him.... Things just got messed up. My friends pressured him too much. Now I'm left. Confused. Who cares though? It's just my life. Just my dream. Gone.
Now you are the enemy...
�Song for me and you
You left with out a goodbye
And now I cant help but wonder why...
My heart is lost in a puddle of tears
So now I have no choice but to face my fears...
With everyday that passes bye
I wonder how I bought those lies...
How could you ever do this to me?
I never thought you would be the enemy...
If only I had known what was to come
Then maybe I wouldn’t be so dumb...
Soon I will let you go away
I probably should have a while 'go...
Unlike those childhood fairytales
This one ends in betrayal...
i raelly miss him so much do u ever get over the loss of someone u love so much??? i should have never gotten married in the first place before i dealt with the loss of jon i loved him more than anything and we were happy together then all my happiness and joy was stolen from me when jon tragicaly commited suicide. i don't think it ever get's easier although people try to tell u it does i just wish it didn't hurrt sooo bad but hopefully someday i can get over all the pain and the hurt and the feelings� of how he'll never get to see his daughter god please help me i miss him sooooo much he's always in my thoughts and i always wonder what might have been !!! does the pain ever stop??? should i have gotten some kind of grief counceling??? now how do i tell his daughter about him the daughter he wanted more than anything and the daughter he never knew he had because i found out i was pregnant 3 weeks after his funeral i reallly and trully wanted to die from the pain of loosing him and even though it's been since dec 03 since he died it's still not any easier i love jon soooooooooooo much someone help me please im going crazy i should love my husband lke he loves me but i can't why why cant i love him the way he's meant to be loved is it because i can't let go and go on??????????????
Well I'm currently watching "Dog The Bounty Hunter." *Smiles* It'd be so cornsome (awesome) to do that. Ehh... I might considered it one. Like... when I have muscles...
*Hears Thunder* Okay... so... anyway... I tend to forget things. A lot. Haha! Uhm, I'm from Ohio in the USA. I was asked that question on one of the sites. *Keeps Hearing Thunder* It sounds like it's going to bad! *Hears More* Of course I live right by a reservoir so it's going to be even worse because of the water. *Shudders* I love thunderstorms... unless they're terribly bad. *Checks The Weather Channel's Website* Oh yeah... the storm is like a few miles away. Haha! Scary...
Oh! One thing I want to touch on is names I'll call people. I call people "hun, dear, dearie, sweetie, darling" and so on and so forth. I call everyone those. So if you're a guy and I call you "darling," it's okay. Haha! I'm not hitting on you or anything. This goes for everyone. Trust me, I've already found my special someone.
Oh! So I was in the bathroom today and I happened to look out the window and saw a squirrel. Squirrels are awesome. When they hop around it's like a wave. Hehe! *Giggles* Oh! And their tails are amazingly awesome! Yes, yes, very cornsome indeed! I want one as a pet but it would probably attack me in my sleep. Haha! No doubt about it. Actually... there could be. But... ehh... yeah. Anyway... we have some pretty awesome squirrels around here. They like to climb up a tree... drop off of it for many many feet, until they land on the bird house. Then they eat the food. Haha! They also like to climb up the pole to it. Mom greased it with something before and it was just so freakin' funny to watch them climb up it. Haha! They would get like half-way up it and fall. Haha! Squirrely, squirrely, squirrely...
*Sighs* Anyway... I want to go to sleep soon. I'm quite tired, and I need my sleep. Hehe! I've been so tired lately. Once I get to sleep it's hard to get me out of it. For once I have deep sleep. But I hope that'll happen again tonight. Haha!
So school was alright today. I had Pre-Calc homework. *Dies* I also have Chemistry homework but I'm saving that for lunch. Haha! Oh! And, of course, today at lunch, the machine ate my money. Yep! I wanted some water but the flappin' machine was jammed and I didn't see it until it was too late. Nice, right? So the school will basically give me my money back whenever the dude gets there. *Shrugs And Sighs* C'est la vie...
I talked to my best friend, Lindsey, today. It's been a while since we go to different schools now. *Sighs* I miss her. We'll have to get together soon, though. French class isn't the same without her. *Sighs Again* Then again, nothing is.
*Sighs Again For The God Knows How Many Times* I think it's time for me to go to bed. Ciao, dolls! Oh yeah! That's something else I say! Oh! One last thing! If you don't like the fact that I'm engaged to a girl, then don't read my posts. One person already said something about it on one site. Thank you. Good night, everyone. See my first entry if you wish to contact me or anything. *Smiles*
~Natasha
I agree with that quote. That is why I am so confuse by how people are so eager to throw you a life line of gestures of creative points to use while all that is good it won't make you feel adequate about yourself at least not me because I am a person who's goals has to be my own dreams and activated by me and worked as I see fit and with help if needed, or if I ask and one agrees to assist me. However, I do believe that money is a mere reward to yourself after working, I also believe that feeling good about yourself and the work you do is in it self an reward to, but what good is it if someone decides to network your goals/dreams as if it was theirs ?… I also believe that feeling good about yourself comes from knowing your character and that you have accepted who you are. Have to go for now kids are up. Oh! One other thing money has only been therapy for me lately, until I figure/get my way out of this wet paper bag. {I was lost/off track}......................
��������������������������������������� �THANKS FOR YOUR EARS!!!!!!
��������������������������������������� �LADYLYN OUT 01/21/10; 7:01 AM
Travel Journal; Restaurant Blog: Destin, Florida Tuesday: Home Wednesday: Fudpucker's Thursday: Joe's Crabshack Friday: Hooter's Saturday: Ordered in Dominoe's Wednesday: At Fudpucker's we saw the alligators but didn't feed them. We didn't buy any t-shirts. I signed the wall and the table so people will know that I was there. Thursday: At Joe's Crabshack Alyssa, Kelsey, Kaitlyn, and I went out on the playground and played tag. It was fun beacuse there were so many places to hide in. I bought a cute t-shirt. Friday: At Hooter's the boys couldn't keep their tounges in their heads. They were VERY happy with our waittress. Brandon bought a Hooter's t-shirt and Christain bought a Hooter's calnedar. Afterwards we went to the Go-kart track. The boys rode the wooden track and then they rode the family track with me. Christain got in front of me and wouldn't let me pass. Finally I got in front of him and wouldn't let him pass.
If i was old and my dream would of came true, the thing id be most happy about having done would be making my dream come true. Im sorry but i cant tell you my dream.