At last things are looking up for us the money we thought we'd never see again has been paid back it has taken months but it has arrived in time to keep us above water .this was wages my partener was due when his boss went bust thank god it came when it did thats a lot of my mind at long last .i now even dare to think about christmas . see if you hold onto the little ray of hope long enough something good will happen .about time too cos i couldn't take much more crap this year .ah well alls well that ends well i guess .
well another week over and done and i'm mot bankrupt yet still keeping head above water still managing to the bills so thats one less thing to wory about . next thing is the xmas word god knows what were going to do about it this year, but one thing for sure i'm not going to make my self ill with worry over it .apart from that every thing else is ticking by nicely i have my appointment for the gyny� at last so now at least i know that some one will finally sort things out for me .well not much else to say so see ya later
i've chilled out a bit know decided not to worry about money any more well i look at this way if the banks and the gorenment dont give a dam then why should i . if it 's the tax payers money that has bailed out these muppets yet again then why hasnt the tax payer been given shares in all the banks that we the public have paid for .when they sell these shares back to the banks at proffit in a few years time i bet we dont get to see any of that either .no instead the fat cats get fatter and the every day person ends up bankrupt and homeless . and why because the banks are the ones who gave every tom dick and harry loans and mortages they could never afford all so they got thier bonus for the most leanding that month or that year .well as i was told you made your bed now lie in it the same should be said for them.
sick cant describe the way i feel right now my other half has just rang and told me they are cutting his hours at work .wonderfull we can just say manage to pay the bills now so god help us now thanks to the allmighty cock up with banks and the govenment looks like we will have no christmas this year .i know there are thousands of pepole in the same boat but i dont know what the hell to do now cant see way out of this at the mo so i'm going to leave it there to phone round and sort this shit out .
well at long last i have got the referal that i need for the doctor to fix me so i feel a lot better now that i know i can see some one who knows what they are talking about and who has the equipment to see what is wrong like an ultrsound finaly my gp has said i need to see some one .this week i have had three accidents in two days first i fell over a bollard at the supermarket car park then i walked into a wall then i nearly ripped my finger off on the bed frame as i walked past and broke it ,the reason for all these is my eye sight getting worse and not seeing where i'm going i know it will keep getting worse but at this rate i will kill my self soon .ah well never mind worse things happen .i'm just happy i will see a doctor very soon to get my other problems fixed .
why is it that people can go to the nhs and have breast reductions and tummy tucks just because they used to be fat and nothing is said yet i need hysterectomy and have to go throught all sorts of things just to get a refferal to the hospital this is something that is affecting my life so badley that i have no quailty of life right now and hardly dare leave the house .yet my sis lost six stone well done her but she whent in seen the gp and came out with a refferal for the hospital for something that is none urgent i dont belive should be done on the nhs when hundreds of people need operations and are in a lot of pain .they say it affects them mentaly well how do you think i feel it's not right i just want my life back so i can be normal again but instead they say well try this and try that it's ok for them it's not destroying there life but it is mine .
sick is all i can say today sick of the deppressing news ,sick of worrying how to pay the bills ,sick of hearing about this so called credit crunch .well how about we bring back robin hood he took from the rich and gave to the poor .think thats what we need right now the every day hard working family are the ones who suffer in the long run so how about the mps and all the heads of the banks and so on donate money into the ecconomy that they have sent down the toilet instead of us paying for them it;s about time they payed for their own mistakes .after all we did'nt let northern rock go down they did but yet again we suffer . well thats my rant for the day i'm going before i say somthing that might get me in trouble .
I have to say i have never felt so lonley in all my life I feel as though i'm living ground hog day .every day the same slowley going insane .i cant stand to watch the news any more like i need them to keep telling me the country is in the shit and no one has any money well welcome to my world the mps wouldn't know where to start if they had to live on income as low as ours and yet they dont do anything to help the every day working family the goverment seem to just expect the tax payers to pick up the bill for the allmighty cock up they have allowed to be created.then they sit in there warm homes paid for by us and tell us to cut how much we spend on food and heat lets see what they would do if some one pulled the rug from under there feet lets see them work for minimum wage and i bet you would see the whole lot of them cry out it cant be done so i say stuff the lot of them thanks for making a crap life even worse and i hope santa brings you spoilt kids a bag of crap and you can allways tell them well dear blame gordon brown the one no one voted for the one no one wants and the one who has no idea how to save our country from going down the toilet well done gordon hope you never get back into power and heres to a vote of no confidance in you ,you pathetic little man .
well i said i would let you know if any one rembered my birthday and i have to say yes even though he was a day early getting my pressies but he is at work all day on my birthday but i still think some one else tipped him off .any way at least he rembered thats the main thing .
home alone yet again my son is away with friends for the week end� and my other half is at work again.So that leaves me and the dog again my life has become so dull since i retired i dont know what went wrong .I realy do need to get out more but thats a bit hard when your nearly blind and need some one to stop you becoming a hedge hog on a� car tyre ah well never mind another day nearly over and i'm nearly a year older I'm waiting to see if any one remmbers it's my birthday this tuesday no one has mentioned it so lets see if they remember i will let you know
well things cant get much worse so i'm waiting for it to get better thats what they say when you hit rock bottom theres only one way left to go and thats back up.so here i am sitting in anticipation of what life is going to throw at me next and guess what no matter what it is i;m just going to smile and get on with it life is too short for self pity if you sit round feeling sorry for your self then one day you will drownd in and i'm too good a swimmer for that they say these things are sent to try us well they definatley are very trying
you know when your getting older because you become un-needed and unwanted your role you thought that you had in life suddenley dissapears .before you know it your life has become empty and lonley days turn to night and light into dark every day the same and still they wont talk .you look in the mirror and someone else looks back and thats when you realise your life has turned to crap.but still you plod on with no�one �to turn with pain in your heart and still you dont learn the man you once loved still sits there looking the other way not wanting to say that he cant stay so instead you both plod on knowing it's gone the love you once had tattered and torn.you wake every day whith hope in your heart that today will be the fresh start.but you look in his eyes and thats when you know that sooner or latter he will definatley go.
well the winds of change are blowing alright in this house and every thing needs to change .i'm still waiting to see where this relationship is going as he still has not gave a definate answer as to what he wants .well we all know he wants his cake and eat it but there is only one choice not both but now cheating is the genes acording to some man that done a small research in switzerland well it might be in the genes but dont they have morrels too and a sense of right and wrong or are all men just lead by� thr dumb stick
why do men find it nessesary to look at women on dateing sites if they say they are happy with you want no one else but you then you find they have signed up to dateing sites and whats worse they have been texting these so called women on there mobile while sitting right infront of you and the best ever excuse in the world "i did it because i was board "well i take that as board with me he says no just had nothing better to do god i hate men but more to the point i hate liers they always get cought out but they just keep on doing it any way .well this lier is on his last ever chance because i'm no doormat never have been never will be
well all went well i had my op on wed and it's not as bad as i thought no wonder my arm used to hurt so much the nerve was pressing on my bone at least the pain now is just of the op it's self and i can now feel quite a bit of my hand they recon it will take three months to say if it has worked or not but so far so good lets hope it stays that way .
looks like i have got rid of my cold just in time for my op tommorow so lets hope they find no other reason to cancell it . been on the internet most of the day just messing round trying to keep my mind off it well it not the first op i've had this will be op number 10 and lets hope it will be the last for a good few years .but knowing me i wil need something else done before long .i swear they have a big lable on my hospital records that says cut off what ever you can when ever you can .still there are other people worse of than i am and some of them are only babies and young kids so i'm gratfull for the crap health that i have .
Back to just me and the dog again my son's girlfriend is back off holliday so we did'nt see him for dust and my other half i sat work bless.So it's me the dog and the internet it's so much better with a new computer goes so much faster.i still have cold and my op is on wednesday so i am trying every thing to clear it up you know hot drinks paracetemol menthol you name it i'v tryed it it seems to be working so you never know i might just be fit enough to still have the op .i hope so as my arm cause me so much pain dont think i've had a full nights sleep in 3 years so fingers crossed i might sleep tight when it done .
At last we have a new computer and just in time the old one did go bang it nearly gave my son a heart attack poor kid glad it was't me that pressed the on swithch cos i would have had an heart attack lol.only a few days till my op and guess what i'm full of cold so they might have to cancell it if it doesn't clear up in time that would be just my luck wait five years to get the treatment then end up with a cold thats sods law for you but if thats what happens then i guess a few more months wont kill me never mind worse things happen
you know how thay say things come in three's well first my iron blew up then my kettle suddenly developed a crack down the side and then my computer went bang it's back on after a freind who's an expert at them came over but even he said it is on it's death bed so now i have to buy a new one it should be here on friday so with a bit of luck no more problems . oh and i have to have another operation on my arm next week so things are going to be fun to try and do with just one hand but as always i will manage .my son goes back to school in two weeks too so he wont be around to help during the day and my other half will be at work so looks like i will have to retrain the dog to do dishes and ironing lol .
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