Pain not SEEN

Perfect Illusion
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Part 1:

They torment me,
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Inside my home,
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Never being anything,
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Except truly alone.
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Feeling the weight,
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Put me under pressure,
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Hating to let go,
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Of life’s easy pleasures.
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Of course they don’t know me,
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The one who soul,
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Still bleeds…
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Part 2:
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Why?
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People have lied all my life,
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They have left me with so many questions and two little answers.
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Begging to hold on to happiness,
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Pleading to let go.
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I have no simple ery,
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No place to go.
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They see me smile,
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But do not se the scars,
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From when I was but a mere child.
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They wonder why I act so happy,
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But most of my family,
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Can see the brokenness inside.
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I am chocking on my words.
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And loosing it all too quick,
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Now’s not the time,
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To play any tricks.
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Part 3:
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I stand,
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Leaning over,
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The sink.
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Taking a good look,
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At the image Staring back at me.
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Holding my self up.
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As I begin to bleed.
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This blood is shed,
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This blood is lost.
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This is my escape from death.
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I stare up into the sky.
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Wanting so much to be apart of it.
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Never knowing what part I’m left with.

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Part 4:
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Listening the others around,
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They do notice me,
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But they don’t know,
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How often I’ve fallen to the ground.
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I fight to many wars inside,
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To keep the happiness alive.
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I jump from,
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One emotion to the next.
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They can’t see,
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The hurt that hides inside my chest.
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Looking deep into my thoughts.
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Breaking down,
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When ever thoughts,
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Of my father cross.
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Part 5:
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He never meant to hurt me,
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Or at least he says so…
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He’ll always says,
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“I’ll protect you from pain,”
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But the only pain I feel,
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Is the pain that he parades.
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Cracking in my voice,
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I try not to speak.
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Everything,
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Just makes me feel so weak.
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Hating what I’ve become,
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Falling into the numb.

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Part 6:
I’m feeling too banged up,
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This emotion stuck in my gut.
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He’s holding me closely,
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And promises t will be ok.
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He’s to innocent for me,
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To dance the days away
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I ask him from something,
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He thinks I need a better way,
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But I demand,
So he gives it to me anyway.
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Just six hits,
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That’s all it’ll take,
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Just six hits,
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And I won’t have to break.
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I feel so dizzy,
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My mind flows into the party.
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I can barely grasp what’s happening,
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Yet I’m laughing hysterically.
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If the world moves too fast,
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I beg it to slow down,
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As I fall to the ground.
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I don’t notice I’m falling,
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Until I start to bleed.
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Hating my self,
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Because the world hates me.
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Part 7:
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Picking up the lighter,
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And a pack of menthols,
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No one sees me better,
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Compared to this,
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No one at all.
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Chocking one down after another,
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No one sees but me.
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Laughing at the intimate.
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Hacking at the porn.
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Taking it all in,
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And finally blowing out.
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This is the one thing,
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I’ll never really doubt.
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Getting pissed at the world,
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No one knew what I could do,
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No one except me,
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And now you.
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Part 8:
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See I’m the perfect illusion,
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I get good grades,
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I hide the pain,
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I keep my other life secret,
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And I don’t talk of the streets.
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Now you can see,
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Five minutes in the life of me.
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