okay my life sucks I'm so scared to go to school because some boy keeps saying that he's going to beat me up. I promised Richie that I wouldn't get into fights at school And my friend decried to be a bitch I'm so stupid to think me and her would actually be friends with me I can't believe that I fell for it I'm so stupid. :(
I had a really good day today for most of the day.� I�really enjoy spending time with my new friend Maricia.� She's a good friend and I am blessed to have met her.� God has blessed me so much.�� I�am glad that I�went to the hospital and ended up at Arcadia Mental Health, but� iam also sometimes wishing I�didn't go to the hospital because of the darn bills that I can not pay and do not need the stress of dealing with them right now and I�do not know what to do.
Today I had a really good day.� �I had lunch with friends today; Rachel and Caitie.� We had a very nice visit and went to Del Taco and we were there for like 2 1/2 hrs.After lunch I�went to Rachel's parents and we played Backgammon; just one game and Rachel won.� It was fun. �
Trying this out.
Entry #2. How original I'm sure no one could think of a better title. I'll change it....someday...
Its Monday, I have to say I had a great start of the week! Yay!!! First thing first, tomorrow we have the cross country orienteering race!! Man, it's gonna be fun, hope we win first!
*sits, staring at screen* uh...how do we write journals...this is awkward. I'M NOT A JOURNAL PERSON. Let's get advice from Janette, who's on the fone! yay!
I was on the fone with Emily today and we attempted a three way with Janette...hehehe chaos for the next 15 min with everyone hanging up at the wrong time, pressing the wrong button etc
�Argh! it was like yes! Janette's on the line and then uh oh...Emily hung up on me by accident AGAIN...then to make things worse I had to eat. Luckily I was allowed to eat and talk.
�Janette and Emily are my awesome friends and I hope they become great friends too!
I just got an incredible idea for this entry's title!!
My feelings are blank..
There's so much I want to say to so many people but I can't... ok maybe only two people and technicall I could�tell them but I don't want to I don't want to have to face these people and try to tell them what needs to be told... I miss them and feel bad for leaving but should I say that I am better off now that I was before, should I mention that I feel like a stupid naive little school girl around them or should I not disclose any of the discomfort I felt and just tell them a half-truth... Too many options and too many�reasons that I should�just say nothing at all...
Basically the reason for those above thoughts is that a few weeks ago... or was it a few months ago.. I can't be sure really because time flies and sometimes it seems like�I can never catch up but anyway I used to be part of a group apropriately self-named the FQ's (flirt queens). They flirted with anyone the could get their hands on and for fifteen year old virgins they were pretty experienced/knowledgable. Ok so my di scription is a little Over The Top.. they wouldn't flirt with everyone but they were still big time flirts and I'm not saying I'm unknowledgable in that field but around them I felt like a naive little (primary) school girl. So they were informally known the FQ's but I wasn't.. I was a misfit in their group of belt short skirts and extremely low cut tops. I was ignored and felt mildly exiled so I left because the reason that I had joined that group in the first place was because I was running from the last group I was in where�I was replaced�by my�best friend (emily)�for another girl called Amy. But when�I left I went back to that old group with Amy and Emily. You have no idea how great it was... I felt like I belonged again.. Finally...
Besides in my new group I have other things to worry about; the rise of Amanda the two-faced backstabbing bitch who I hate for so many reasons I can't list them all here, the newly inseperable 'best friends forever' bond between Amy and Ashlea (they pretty much rub it in everyone's face) that is hurting Emily while also pissing me off and Amy's obsession with a band called Mcfly which makes it ten million times harder to talk to her because the only topic she will willingly discuss is how awesome/hot/fantasticly talented/great/sexy all members of Mcfly are. Her topics are becoming repetative and I don't know how much more I can take of her blabbing about interviews with them, how funny they are and how she wants them to strip for her.
Another mind bothering thing is 'P' why she is named this is uncertain but it was a secret kept between Amy, Amanda and Ashlea (the three A's). With the power of my sea mokeys (i.e brain cells) and my awesome eavesdropping skills I was able to determin that P was either Myself or Kate and I was quite sure it was Kate untill everyone started telling me that it wasn't me which brought up the saying "tho doth prtest too much". I now know for sure that it is P because Emily confronted Amanda with y evidence and found out that P like I had originally thought was Kate. But I am not allowed to speak a word of it to anyone which is lameee. But I shall disclose the facts and obvious reasons why I believed P was Kate...
Reasons Why 'P' was Kate or Me
Thats all for now in tha amazing life of me...
love to all those who deserve it but none for people that�I for minimal reasons�hate *cough*Amanda*cough* lets just say that my feelings for her relate to the lyrics of the song "I never liked you" by the rouge traders in particular the line "I never liked you even when�I tried to" because I did actually have a period of time where i went out of my way to try and like her and not be so hating of her but nomatter how much I tried I could never bring myself to like her and if I started to she would do something that made me hate her all over again... well EFF HER.
Asta La Pasta, My dear online diary for you are my saviour and seemingly only person I can discuss all of these things with except emily who I can discuss all of these topics with excluding the Amanda topic because she hearts amanda like everyone else in the group does..
XoXo Sarah
hope u can see this.....^^
but maybe wun~
coz u dun even know tat i register the account of this�right?
just saw ur journal.......
only 4 days== i din online for four days..........and yet u write journal everyday==
when i online u dun write, when dun i online u write==
you write......
""Memorable time do exist...lecturing time comes together...
and dat sucks lot...==
althought u said dat i m special....
but....i feel i hav no difference with others..
mayb....i really am as normal as others...
wad do i actually hav.....
money...none....
look....zero.....
results....rubbish....
gud frens...less...
i cant afford to lose u guys anymore...
i'm not qualified to....
accept the realitly....
alvin....u r a normal person...
(17/4/2008)
emotions can b replaced by another.....
hope it will b a better 1.....
when u r happy, i'm..""
feel a bit sad.......and also angry of my self......
i dunno that i give u such a feelings........maybe i am a�jurk.......a bad�friend so that i cant give u enough care and love.........
i dunno i give u such a bad bad bad feelings..........to let u feel that u r not special.......
sorry about tat.........but u r really special for me.........
u r my friend.........not becoz of money nor look........is becoz u.......
u is u.......no matter u r�pour or ugly..........u r still u........the one who treat me�with his heart and care........the one who i treat him as the most special friend that i have never had............
For now, without u i really dunno how am i gonna to study in this class........with all the fake faces.......
and without u.......i dun even find the meaning of staying there............
i have lose everything......but u will never be the one......right?
u ask me why am i crying tat time........
yong wei tell u tat i cry becoz i listen to the song "zui jin" and i feel touch and tears just drop like tat.........
but the truth is the things i am thinking..........that song is only a wood for the fire........
actually...........tat time we are discussing about u.......about the future without u.........about the time u r going to leave us........
i really cant accept ur leaving..........but� tat is a fact.........u r going to USA and i am going to stay here.......staying in this place without u..........
i really scare to lose u..........
i am affraid that ur feelings is just like the song.........
dunno y..........
even now when i am thinking about ur leaving........tears will drop none stop..........
你最近不说话 怎么了�为什么 是不是有什么事让你不快乐 听说你最近很孤单 有点乱有点慌 可是我却不能够在你的身旁 你想要的我却不能够给你我全部 我能给的却又不是你想要拥有的 我们不适合�也不想认输 好几次我们抱着彼此都是想要哭 你常解释这样的一切都只是开始 我觉得是所有的一切早就已结束 不想再约束�不要再痛苦 下一次会有更好的情路 爱�我却不能够给你我全部 我能给的却又不是你想要拥有的 我们不适合�也不想认输 好几次我们抱着彼此都是想要哭 你常解释这样的一切都只是开始 我觉得是所有的一切早就已结束 不想再约束�不要再痛苦 下一次会有更好的情路
""A simple way lead a simple life...
dat's wat i always dreamed of...
but reality is reality....life is meant to be complicated....
at least i still hav u....u will noe who r�u when u read dis....
but who am i?? to u...to every1....or even..myself.....
i hope sum1 will tell me...i'll b waitin....
a happy day begins with a simple smile....
^^readers....blogers....hav a nice day...
(18/4/2008)
I am Alvin Siow....""
i am so sorry........tat i cant help u.........
feel tat i am useless......
i am such a bitch......cant even give u anything besides of that useless meaningless�little of cares........and yet keep bodering u with my unimportant lauzy problem..........
sorry.........very sorry.........
but wat�should i do? i have no ideal.........
if only u can tell me..........
I have lost all my friend~ becoz of my evil deed......
i hurt them so much......
but i have learnt something through some of them........
hope tat it is worth for me to give up all my friendship~
Now~i have a new life~
friends no ned to be more......but one enough^^
now i am not like b4 ready.......not like b4 the girl with many best friend but ony few can trust.........
ony song, yew, hui, mangkuk~
I luv u guys~^^
wish u all happy as i am ~
Oh....my....gosh! Today was sooooooo much fun. Today I went to school, did my normal duty of working, and then after school, my friends Megan, Stephanie, Kaho and I went to the mall for 4 hours. It was a lot of fun. Then, Yunhee found us and we hung out in the food court for 1.5 hours and just talked. When 7:30pm came around, we all headed towards the movies to see "Horton Hears a Who". And boy it is a funny movie! I laughed so hard at it and I'm 15! When the movie finished, it was 9 o'clock and the next bus didn't come around for another 40 minutes so we stood in between the doors at the movies and just talked and goofed around. Stephanie, Kaho, Yunhee and I took the bus but Megan's Dad drove her home. I am now sleeping over at Yunhee's and its been a lot of fun so far. When we got here, I used her bathroom while she cleaned up her supposedly messy room. When we settled in, we talked about my visit in Korea for my birthday that is coming up and then she pulled out a bag of pens and told me to pick some of them to have! I'm sooo happy and proud that I know officially own something Korean. Haha. Then we straightened each other's hair and did make-up and pictures.
I love these girls to death and I am so glad to be their friend. I'm honoured that I can call them friends.
}Y{- Nichelle
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misty81 59, Female, Wisconsin, USA - First entry!
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