AcousticWinter's Journal

 
    
29
May 2007
7:42 PM EDT
   

I am extremely intimidated by you. Everytime I think of the past... I think about little secrets I never told you. Things that seemed like nothing at the time now seem to have inflated into something huge. I feel guilty for not telling you then. (And No... it's not what you think.) I feel guilty when I see the scars you caused and don't know about... yeah... they're going away. But the emotional scars you have caused will forever remain. I am afraid of you. I am afraid because I love you too much and I'm scared to death of losing you. I want to tell you everything that's been going on but I'm afraid of what you'll say to me. If you knew, you'd want to drop contact with me. I'd rather drop contact myself... erase myself from your life forever. I can't handle your heatbreak anymore. I can't handle you anymore. It's not that easy. People like Anna, Luis, Ray, and Ren would take years to forget but you... you were my first real love. You were the only person I could ever see myself with in five... ten... fifteen... fifty years. You were my everything. I'd have to completely erase the memory of the past three (almost four) years of my life in order to ever possibly try to forget you. You have been everything to me these past three years. You have been in every journal entry... every poem... every story... every picture... every pill... and every scar. I can't help but think of you every second of every day... and I can't help but worry just as long. I don't want to worry about you anymore. I don't want to waste my life on something that can never be. I'll tell you again that I'm scared to death of you... scared to death of losing you. I love you too much and I worry too much. I hope this explains it a little better. It's time. If you love someone, you'll let them go.. I love you.
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2 comment(s) - 08:42 PM - 11/18/2007
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AcousticWinter's Profile

  • Username: AcousticWinter
  • Gender / Age: Female, 33
  • Location: USA - Arizona
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