So, today was my first day in the 10th grade andi though it would be a good idea to start a journal since my life sucks. Anyway like I was� saying today, my first day was a sophmore.. It went fairly well i guess, the bus ride from my house� to school is over an hour long and a hour back FML im on the bus at 6:55 i get to schoolat 8:13 :/ and� back well i finish at 2:21 i get home at 2:23 lol it sucks i know, anyway once at school we had to go into the gym and listen to this stupid prensentation, over the summer i dip dyed my hair hot pink and got a lip ring, and everyone was saying how good it looked, i felt awesome, but kinda awkard at the same time because of my anxiety -.-. Anyway after the presentation the 10th graders (thats me) hadto go into the caf to meet our teachers... The teacher i HATE was� there, thank god im not in her class like PRAISE THE LORD, the reason why i hate her is cause in� the 9th grade she was my religon teacher, and i was in class one day super bored so i decided to take my� phone out of my pencil case annd check my� twitter, i got onto twitter and the first tweet i saw was a tweet from hedley (My favorite band) saying they had to reschedual a� few of there tour dates in eastern Canada because of� illness, the concert they played in�my hometown�already passed when they annouced the illness, well anyway the� first thing that jumps to mind is Tommy Mac (the bassist) and his fight for cancer, I knew he had cancer , but recovered but for some reason i though somthing has happened and Tommy was� sick, well still� in class� thinking this i started to tear� up in class, by this time now everyone was just talking and shit, i tried to hold it in but couldnt do it i started bawlling�, my friends were trying to comfort me while the bitches/haters laughed� anyway the teacher comes over and starts yelling at me infront of the class telling me how my obssesion with them is abnormal� and shit and how i need to go to therapy but this bitch doesnt even know the reason i like hedley, nobody does... anyway i wont go into full details but it ended up with her calling my parents telling them i needed therpay, i convinced them i didnt and it was just to get attention (Which it wasnt cuz i hate attention). Anyway flash back to this morning, she comes up to me and since shes the teacher for the hairdressing classes she comes and inspects my hair telling me how bad it was done and how it�looks bad cuz of my teased up hair and shit... well that lowered my self� esteem. So off to first period which is civics, the teacher is chill, the class is like filled with guys loud, annoying, intimadating guys... anyway i sa tbeside jo my friend that i kinda drifted apart with, and one� of the only other girls in the class, since the desks were� put in groups of two� i could only choose one person.... well in the group next to me is this guy, lets call him ...Brandon, well i met him in the 8th grade through� my ex� best friend (shes popular and has a bunch of attention know ... eww) anyway we've never really talked but for some reason we talked� today, so after civics i had french, i didnt know anyone from civics who was taking french until brandon told� me he was in french, so we walked together to french... i sat beside two of my friends and brandon sat infront. Well french was boring we had to introduce yourselves but that didnt turnout to good,� with my anxiety.... my voice was shaking there was so much popular mean bitches in my class, anyway� i was so relived after i was done... so after the teacher was� done annoucing stuff, we got to sit there and� talk, i found out me and brandon didnt have the next class together, i was kinda bumped, My next class� was sience� and i was super pumped One: because i love sience Two: I didnt have m. Renaud as a teacher (Another teacher i hate) and three: it was close to my lockerso instead of bringnig 3 binders il just switch before going� into sience and Four: because the class only has 14 ppl, and i know most of� them;) so� yeah sience was a breeze. Its lunch now i REALLy had to pee so i went pee since� our lunch periods are spread in to there� is a senior (11 and 12) lunch thab Junior(9 and 10) this year there was like 70 ninners in our small school so the caf was PACKED, i ended up sitting with ppl who arent really my� friends but ppl i talk to... After lunch was mechanics, there� is only 2 other girls� in that class, two of my bff's and one is thinking of switching to art -.- so we� didnt really do anythingin auto we just talked me my two� friend and a guy who ihavent� really� talked to since grade 8, we talked about tattoos, piercings, hair dye... and uhm yeah that� was it, so as u can see my day was� pretty good actually really good compared to others :) anyway uhmm thats it for me, sinceihave no social life ill end up filling u guys in on what happens tmrw too :) TTYl
Somehow I made it through that last day before spring break. Gosh, am I glad it's over. I almost cannot believe I made it through. How quickly I threw that over my back in relief - so fast I barely remember why I was stressed out in the first place. But the lack of memory really just indicates how much Ijust want to put it behind me. Finally, it's spring break. Relief. Pure, sweet bliss. A week of nothing. A week had seemed like so much! No homework! No School! No major freaking deadlines! YES! Until I start thinking. And sometimes I wish I didn't...but I have to deal with this sort of stuff sometime right? It didn't actually seem like too much at first. Just bio lab, Germany questions, maybe review? Ohh yeah, no biggie, I can handle this stuff. Then I remembered, chinese test - okay, that's fine. Math...I needed to review math badly, and that includes the IB portion. Oh wait, I really oughta review Chem 35 while I'm at it don't I? Cripes! Wasn't I also missing a section in my Unification of Germany notes? Don't forget reading the new English novel as well as that in class written assignment on the chronicle when we get back! ...And were there bio worksheets too? Oh! Full cast rehersal on Thursday, and possibly Sunday! That means I'll have to figure out how to die dramatically by then. We're also going to WEM on Tuesday, aren't we? And Kim wanted to go watch the Hunger Games sometime...but I think I might say no. AH! I also need to rip and sync the piano songs for Alex and I...and find Taylor Swift songs for Skylar, and...U2,�I think, for Victoria. Oh...ugh...and...oh man, oh man, I've got to figure out this TOK thing. Wow I really know how to complain. I'm sure it'll all turn out fine. I'll take it all in stride...things will work out fantastically because God's watching over me. (>_ l) Man, I miss the days of endless reading, watching silly dramas, laughing with sis, and doing all sorts of ridiculous time wasting things. �
Look who's back again. Guess who's once again feeling stressed...and down...and misunderstood...and wanting to cry...and sick of everything...and worried...and upset...and wishing that it will all go away...would it be entirely terrible of me to just not go to school? Sometimes I wished I had the guts to fake sick like so many of my friends do. But I'm too 'good'. aren't I? I know I wouldn't be able to deal with disappointing my group members, or deal with the guilty conscience of lying to everyone. But sometimes, in instances like this, I just want to say� "Screw it all, I don't care!". Ohhhh yeah, that would go so well. I really thought I'd be over this. This semester was supposed to change everything, �this year was supposed to be different. Then I reread one of my previous teenage angst-y entries, and I find myself in the same mood as the time when I wrote that. In fact, I had more to add on to the�sorry list of miseries. Look at me waste time on a school night, the day before the last day of spring break where EVERYTHING is due. Seriously teachers, are you just trying to torment us on purpose? All this "I don't want you to have to do work over spring break, it's for relaxation!" crap just means you choke all of us the week before -with an exception to Ms. Coleman because she was genuine in her wish to help us but at the same time allowing us to choose. Italian Unification project, L.A reflection for the Chronicle of a Death Foretold, Extended Essay proposal due AND we need to talk to our EE teacher, freaking Chemistry Test tomorrow that's apparently weighted more than our final (what the heck?!) - which also apparently contains a decent amount of defnitions when our teacher had said not to worry about them, and Oma and Opa's anniversary thingy tomorrow after school which may require me to socialise while I'm cranky. Oh yeah...there's also IB math morning class. Actually all this probably stemmed from chemistry, and I don't want to talk about it. I've never been terrified of school before. Sometimes my family doesn't get it - especially my sister. Well actually, I think only my mother is making an effort to understand...I truly appreciate the amount of love and flexibility she's poured on me despite not actually understanding the situation. Dad's just stubborn and compares me to himself. My sister? It feels like she doesn't even bother. Must I physically place a frown on my face, talk in a flat and upset tone, ignore her, stare anti social-y while my body language is stiff and screams stop bother me - all of which irritates and hurt her - in order for her to understand that I am� freaking serious, that i actually have to get the stuff done, and I'm not just finding an excuse to ignore her and be petty. argh. I really should get to work...even if I'm already resigned on staying up late. Ugh. This really sucks.
Ok well my name is Caitlin and I'm in the 7th grade. I don't have a big sis but a big bro. whos not very helpful. *lol* In grades kindergarden thru 4th grade a guy I am completely in love with was at my school and in my grade, too. His name is Alex. I have always had the same feeling when ever i see Alex. Except its gotten a little bit stronger. I start to shake if i see him or i get really really quiet. I have a "friend", Angel, (who I hate) whos mom sits me. Alex and Angel are like best friends but in fifth grade Alex transford. Sometimes Alex comes over Angel's house but all I can do is look at the floor the WHOLE time because im afraid that i will lock eyes with him and he might think im weird. I don't know if he likes me but everytime i say just one little thing to him then i start to shake like crazy! I want him to know but im too shy and im worried about what he would think, if he likes me and his response. Please help me!
*The Kewlest Dork*
Add comment
vampiricakatt 28, Female, Minnesota, USA - 102 entries
thekewlestdork 29, Female, Illinois, USA - First entry!