Ok well my name is Caitlin and I'm in the 7th grade. I don't have a big sis but a big bro. whos not very helpful. *lol* In grades kindergarden thru 4th grade a guy I am completely in love with was at my school and in my grade, too. His name is Alex. I have always had the same feeling when ever i see Alex. Except its gotten a little bit stronger. I start to shake if i see him or i get really really quiet. I have a "friend", Angel, (who I hate) whos mom sits me. Alex and Angel are like best friends but in fifth grade Alex transford. Sometimes Alex comes over Angel's house but all I can do is look at the floor the WHOLE time because im afraid that i will lock eyes with him and he might think im weird. I don't know if he likes me but everytime i say just one little thing to him then i start to shake like crazy! I want him to know but im too shy and im worried about what he would think, if he likes me and his response. Please help me!
*The Kewlest Dork*
How do you ever get threw life knowing u have done alot� of f****ing up!! i have sooo damn much ..like right now i amd trying really hard to stay sobor but i take it out on my man...he has� stuck by me when i was in jail he was all i had!! i didnt have anyone else i didnt feel like i needed anyone else either! but now its just i am not use to life this way its soo hard cause i amd use to drinking and being high and now its like how do you deal with life� when u have done the stuff so so long its like i am a different person its crazy but i am scared i am pushing him away� dont want that i really dont!! someone help me please!!
Im just randomly saying hey. So if anyone sees this.. Post back!!! xDD
Many people feel "differently" about relationships.� I can remember thinking and wanting so badly to be engaged.� It was all that I cared about...just having that ring to prove to everyone that I was more mature and that we were the perfect couple.� My family and friends hassled him..."when's the big day?" they would ask.� Or, I would get SO mad over the dumbest things and blame it on not having the ring.� He would ask, "what�do want�for your birthday?" and my response would�be something of a rude remark with regards to an engagement ring.� It was all about the stupid ring that I thought was so important.� I guess I just wanted to have the ring to have proof of his commitment.� It's easy say, Im committed to you, but harder to give proof of words.�
He is the most amazing person and the most dedicated person in my life and I was letting a "social symbol" get in the way of our relationship.� There is more to the story including the death of his parents within the same year and the fact that we have been together for nearly 7 years.� I was by his side through thick and thin and NEVER questioned leaving or letting a ring get in the way.� I have to say that I got the ring.� He proposed and it was the most beautiful thing, but it has taken me the experience of the entire 7 years to realize that my relationship with my fiance has never been better.� Is it the ring?� Could be, but realizing that I needed to accept myself (without a ring, without him) was the most life changing thought I've ever had.� Now that I am comfortable with myself, engaged or not...ring or not...our relationship has done a complete 180.�
We have always had a good relationship, but looking back now it could have been so much better.� Im thankful that we stuck together and got through some of the hardest times of both of our lives and also we got through some of those petty things that really dont matter at all.� You have to know who you are, before you can start to know who someone else is.� That is where I am at today.� I know me, I understand me, I love me...now that I have gotten "me" taken care of I gladly wear my ring as a symbol of our love and I can focus on our relationship.� Take the time to love him...look at him...really look into his eyes and he him for who he is, not for who you want him to be (or in my case, what you wanted from him).� Life is so much better when who people are in love.�
The good: The little feller is clipping like a champ. He anticipates what foot I am going to look at and picks it up before I ask and he holds it up for me. Awesome! He will walk away from the mare now. Getting a bit more independant and sticking up for himself against the other gelding. Funny kid...he will climb up and stand on the ice in the 4' water trough. A bit of a billy goat! Leads better, but still needs lots of "suppling".
The bad: His left rear foot is turning out pretty bad. The farrier says it may be a symptom of a sloppy clip that is making him stand funny. He started clipping it back into shape...it will take a couple of clips to get it straight again. Leveling his foot didn't make him lame, so it really does seem like just a bad clip and not a bent foot. He is getting skinny! Too much really cold weather...I am putting him on sweet feed on top of his hay and mixing in canola oil for some extra calories.
I LOVE ZAC EFRON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LOVE HIM!! AAAHHH!!!!
I have been trying to keep up .. make sure I had time to write in my blog but being that I work two jobs one that keeps me up all night long ..and the other babysitting and very active little one its hard to find the time to sit and get a a clear thought in my head ... all my thinking usually goes .. damn I need to clean this and that or get this done and one of those is sitting down isnt usuallly an option .. but hey here is my two cents for today ,,, yeah I have been trying to make sure that in my head that I tell myself that this walk is my exercise no matter how long or short it is .. since I do alot of walking already I'm just trying to wire my brain to think of it as exercise instead of just a way to get from one place to another .. cause I'm always on my feet but it dosent count as exercise cause i wasnt telling myself it is .. when I do .. I do try to go a bit farther .. a bit faster concentrate on my breathing gauging how well im doing ... the kids like me bening a bit of a nut so walking around the block or two instead of just going straight home when I drop of my daughter at school .. the only problem I have right�now is the weather isnt quite as cooperative as I would like it .. sweating in the rain isnt too good if I want to stay well enough to take care the house, kids and my job .. so its changes to speed how fast can I move my body,,, while pushing two kids in a stroller .. weight training there ... they arent all the lite you know .. so what bugs the most of myself is when I feel like im doing pretty good .. the clothes are a bit looser on me .. have to wear a belt now but then I let my guard down and sit down ,,, you know relaxed and such and I look down and see this big belly just staring up at me .. and I feel� like such a loser and get pissed all over again .. but hey what can I do but use my feelings and try to get myself moving again .. anyways if you are in the same boat as me .. then I say to you .. one day at a time ... C-Ya
I'm sitting in this room,
with no way to get through,
to you.
I'm sitting on this chair,
waiting to see,
your head,
pop in through the door.
But you don't really care about me,
anymore!
I'm done, for ever,
because no matter,
what you say,
life does go on,
some way...
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waiting
i never had patience
and i dont like waiting
being in a line
or waiting for assistance
for whatever the reason may be
i always wait for something
but no one waits on me
i wait to die
i wait to cry
i wait to fall asleep
im waiting on my dad
to pull his head out of his ass
but he refused to wait on me
Sooo I feel like I am going to snap like any minute... I am so tired of this good for nothing frreloading piece of shit my bf cals a friend. He is really starting to work my nerves always comming over uninvited and then always expecting a ride after the fact everyoe has been drinking and fucked up and shit what the fuck... I hate peolpe like this if you have no life then keep your no life to yourself don't try to bring people into your misary shit. Sorry just had to vent a little..
����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� *Ducez*
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