dave's Journal

Jan 2011
4:55 PM GMT

Here we go...

I'm not a blogger, I don't keep a diary, but I'm going to give this journal thing a go. I don't know what I'm supposed to writing, and I have no idea why ANYONE would care, but I figure why not?
�� OK, so what was the last mildly interesting thing I did? I went to see the Kings Speech on Friday (21.1.11) with an old friend, and then I worked all weekend, so that's it. My first "blog". Whoopee. I'll try to put a bit more in next time.

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Dec 2006
4:13 AM EDT

Why is the pain still ther after all she has put me through. I can't believe she si doing drugs after all the great things she could me and the kids holy shit...I don't miss her but I mis the person she used to be. We all do. I wish that one of these days she will be back to the person we all know. even the kids notice a differance. God be with her and me. I love lisa so much. Every day I am with you a become more and more in love with you and who you have made me. All I want is to be with Lisa and the kids. God please look over us and make sure we are safe. Thank you!

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Nov 2006
4:46 AM EDT

DAMN, I haven't had this empty feeling in my heart for a long time. This morning at work I could slowly feel that feeling that I had months ago when I was having my cry in a corner feeling. So much that I pu on myself and then when not expected I start hurting inside over everything. I get really dipressed. Maybe the country music I listen at work doesn't help my head from keeping everthing inside where I want to keep it. The good thing is that I dont have these hurt feeling like I use to at least once a day, then it was once a week and now maybe once a month, thanks to Lisa, love you baby. SHe had made me strong but at the same time I have brought her down. sorry baby. You deserve SOOOO much and some times I feel I am not providing that. daleen i hate you for doing this to my heart and the kids. I wish I could just wal away and never see you again. I hurts too much to bwe near you and be nice. I do beter when I am mad. It makes it easier to deal with. Kitty and Ty I love so much. God I hope they don't get too affected my all of this. well, another day and hopefully some good news for EVERYONE! GOD LOOK ON ME! I need the strength!!!!

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Nov 2006
4:57 AM EDT

WOW! what a vacation. A little too much drama but Lisa and I got through it. One day at a time I will learn not to be so trusting to people and learn not to get walked on. I started at church again. Maybe the big man and I can work all of this together. Alone I don't have much. Not that Lisa isn't God sent...thanking every day she is there. Aw well...hold on strap in for another fun day on the roller coaster. IM READY..i think....

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Oct 2006
5:12 PM EDT

The bitch is almost gone. She go0t arrested the other day for some doumb shit she did again!!!Can't wait till tomorow!!!Got t5o getrdone

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Oct 2006
10:47 PM EDT

Today, not too bad I got to spend good time with the kids and no conclict with my ex. Lisa got upset at me today for texting on my phone with the ex and not paying attention to my step son. I see her point, I knew at the time that I should be concentrating on Ty but I guess I just get upset in the wrong ways for small things that I know I can't change. I was upset that she didn't show at the park with us to hang out with kids after TYLER asked all of us to go. I really saw a big sigficants in that what Tyler wanted and I really wanted him to see that everything could and will run smooth. I hurts me to know that ty is having a rough time over all of this and doesn't know how to express it. I love him and Kitty so much I hate to see them have to go through all the crap Daleen and I go through. Kitty wont remember too much but Tyler see and hears everything. More Daleen than I but we need to realize more what we do and say either to eachother or to others. Damn I wish this crap would get over with. I am ready to move on. Why is it so hard!

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Oct 2006
1:44 AM EDT

Been a few days so as much as I have been up to. HOLY SHIT...Yesterday my exwife wife called me at work and says that my daughter woke up crying for Lisa my girlfriend. Un like her she continues to tell me that she wants to know if Lisa would like to spend time with her...huh????What alternative motive is my ex up to??? Makes Lisa and I nervous due to the fact just last week just was getting up set because she thought Lisa was stepping in as the new mommy role. Now just due to a parenting class that we attended for the divorce she has changed. I just can't trust her. She seems that she means well but my ex has the past of always trying to get rid of the kids so that she can PARTY. Should I trust her? NOPE. I will go with the flow but Lisa and I are on the defense and refuse to let those shields down un til she proves more that she is doing her deeds for good not evil. Not that I mind having my duaghter. I love her to the end of the earth but I have continously taken advatage of my my ex. Not to mention all the people she has hurt since Lisa and I have been together. God please let this be good!!!

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Oct 2006
3:56 AM EDT

I heard a story about a little old lady that talked about going to an amusement park once and how she loved to go on the roller coaster. UP AND DOWN; UP AND DOWN....she said that some people didn't like it. They got off. but not her she loved it. Life I feel is like that roller coaster. I am willing to go for the whole ride even for the rough parts of that ups and downs I know that i will enjoy every part of it in the end so I might as well hold on and take it for what it is worth and learn as I go....Just remember to keep you hands in at all times or you could break your hand...hehehe..for people that know me. That part is funny! Strap in if you dare!!!!!there is always room!!!

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Oct 2006
3:50 AM EDT

Another day another dollar...man I am beat of all this over time at work. as much as i love the money and dont mind my job geting a bit old. In geet excited just to see I only have to work 8 hours. God give me the power to deal with this day that I face and please don't let Dleen screw it up in anyway. Givee her the strength to get her crap together to move out on her own. Lokk over the kids and Lisa and I for another tough day. I love her and refuse to let go of that.

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Oct 2006
4:58 AM EDT

Damn, How do you protect your kids from a mom that could be so good if she got her head out of her ass and made sure she was not doing drugs? I really am stressing about this. I love my kids to death and want to be able to know that they are safe when they go with their mom for the weekend or week. She tells me that the kids will never be in harms way but everything out of her mouth is a lie. Dont know where ot go from here. Wait un till she messes up and call CPS. Will that be too late for the kids???? CRAP!!!!

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Oct 2006
11:25 PM EDT

Today I was able to have a good day with my girlfriend and not have too much strees caused by my x-wife. I was stern and upfront with the x today and didn't take any crap. I love Lisa so much.

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Oct 2006
5:26 PM EDT

Well, divorce, I wouldn't put it on my worst enemy. It hurts not only you but the ones around you. Kids envolved...hold on to your boots!!!! I miss what we had. But glad it is ending and I am moving on to better things and found someone now that loves me.

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1 comment(s) - 01:19 AM - 10/12/2006

Oct 2006
1:09 AM EDT

why is it that love can be such a great thing and other times it hurts so bad. That was not in the brochure!!!

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2 comment(s) - 08:00 PM - 10/10/2006

dave's Profile

Username: dave

Gender / Age: Male, 48

Location: USA - Arizona

DAVE's Interests:

About Me: Divorsed 30 year old father of two. my daughter age two that brightens my world every day and my stepson the football star who makes me more proud every day that he is near.

Interests: Spending time with my kids and coaching youth football. Watching NFL on sundays(GO COWBOYS). Spending much loving times with my new love Lisa. Thanks baby for making me strong!

Favorite Music: hard and classic rock. Garth Brooks rocks as well and don't mind a bit of R&B for some fun dancing at the club.

Favorite Movies: Ace Ventura 1$2. War movies. Big on any comedy. 1941 one of the best ever.

Favorite Television: FOOTBALL!!!! and love watching old comedy sidcoms. COPS.

Favorite Books: Anything with pictures. Not much of a reader but give me an autobiography on good people and I'll read it.

DAVE's Friends:

llarson