Mariah's Journal

 
    
13
May 2010
5:47 PM EDT
   

It just struck me, "Why hadn't I thought of doing this before?" I used to live in a constant fear that someone would pick up my journal and start reading it when I wasn't in the room. I used to carry my notebooks into the bathroom with me for the sake of Peter! Yet there was something about it that was secretly delicious, like I was somehow sly because I had made it so far without anyone reading it... or so I thought. Until my brother decided to start scribbling little notes down in margins. That was about the time when I started guarding them with my life. I still kind of miss flipping through flimsy, ink-stained pages just to gaze upon the multitude of paragraphs I had written. I would write about every little thought that popped into my head all day- religion, politics, psychology, and yet still those little petty things that almost all twelve-year-old girls think about. Sometimes, I would think that all the things I wrote about would spill into what I talked about, making me a more socially disagreeable person, but it turns out that it was quite opposite. The less I write about these things, the more short and quick my temper has become. I find myself turning red in the face when I "discuss" these things with some of the most stubborn and unthoughtful people. Then I become unable to remind myself that arguing with these people is pointless, because they take it upon themselves to believe that they know all and will refuse to see reason. I'm becoming quite the John Adams. (But at least the people he argued with had and IQ level above that of a chimpanzee.) Then again, what can you expect from junior high students?

DISCLAIMER: Not everyone that I "discuss" with is purely infantile. There are a few whose maturity is at quite an acceptable height.
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