stabri's Journal

 
    
09
Nov 2007
7:35 PM CST
   

know when to fold em

This is day 4 and it is hell. I have made the decision to go into a detox center for however long it takes to get this poison out of me. It is way too painful to do cold turkey. I am not sure what they will give me to help, but it has to be better than this. My whole body is in trauma, needing the drug that it is so used to. I am exhausted, yet can't sleep; starving, but can't eat; wanting more than anything to think of something other than the drug that got me here, but that is all that I can see. This is evil personified. I have absolutely no control right now. I just want to be normal, happy, alive. I want to enjoy a sunny day, want to take walks with my husband, want to read a book again. I cannot do anything because I am always consumed with either getting drugs or I am nodding out because I am high. I hate it. I hate the places I find myself in, the people I find myself dealing with just to feed the animal. I am not that person. I am better than that, have more to offer than that. I go in tomorrow. Scared, but ready to start my life. If anybody reads this, please keep me in your prayers. I'll be back.
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3 comment(s) - 12:48 PM - 12/02/2007
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stabri's Profile

  • Username: stabri
  • Gender / Age: Female, 59
  • Location: USA - Wisconsin
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