So you can say everyone is always excited about their birthday.. well yay :/ I'm not ecstatic..
My mom was really looking forward to this birthday.. she was always planning on what she was gona do for me.. and now that she isnt with me it hurts.. :/ like I really wish she could be down here with me.. and I miss her terribly.. You have no idea. I honestly feel like theres a big empty hole in my heart. I wish she would appear in my dreams again and wish me happy birthday and be with me the whole nite.. I cnt tell you how bad it hurts.. like how am i suppose to celebrate my birthday.. this is my first birthday with her physically here with me. this is the first birthday where she isn't going to wake me up with las ma�anitas :( or she isnt going to hugg me and tell me "feliz cumplea�os" happy birthday.� But i guess the only reason i decided to do something was for my mom. I mean i know she wouldnt want me to be home and be sad :/ i know she would want me to have fun! And the only reason I'm doing it , is for her! I promised my mom I'd be strong just for her.. I'm doing it all for you mommy.. It hurts terribly but I really want you to be looking down over me.. please do.. I just need� you, and though you cant be with me on my birthday, I just want you to know I'm trying my best down here for you.. im trying not to break down everyday and Everything I do is gona be for you momy..
rest in paradise.. i love you mommy with all my heart.. please watch over me..
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