shirleyxu's Journal

我家的狡辩家

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���� 敦敦最近有个毛病, 喊他吃饭或干事, 人家经常不理不睬地玩沉默. 我和他爹循循善诱, 费尽心机地教导他回应别人的重要性, 强调这即是跟别人沟通（communication）的必要条件，也是对他人最基本的尊重。可是敦敦丝毫不进盐津. 我们没辙, 无奈地罚他写东西, 让他把自己的想法写下来. 读完这篇短文, 字里行间我和他老爹只看到两个字, ‘狡辩’.� 但从另一个角度看，如果不把他培养成外交家, 还真有点浪费.

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A argumentative boy in my House

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Recently Don Don tends to give no reply when we call him to do something he is not interested at that particular moment. His Dad and I tried hard to tell him to reply ‘yes’ or ‘no’ as least as a necessary way of communication and to show basic respect to others. He doesn’t seem to getting it. We have no choice but to ask him write down his own thought regarding ‘Why does he not reply’.� His Dad and I can see only one word ‘quibble’ after reading his short essay. However, it’s a waste if he will not become a diplomat one day. �

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Why I don’t reply

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I don’t think there is much point in telling someone something that can be found out through the actions that are taking place. For example, if I am playing a video game, and you tell me to see some fireworks. I don’t reply and continue playing my game. To me at least, it is quite clear that I am not interested.

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Another factor would be that I am a little irritated by the fact that you are disturbing my concentration on something. I’m certain that anyone knows that if someone ignores them, that person is annoyed. Humans are not flesh computers, you don’t type in a question and get an answer. We communicate in different ways. If you ask someone a question, you can get an unimaginable amount of different answers. Some people will just give you the boring ole answer. Some people will give hints, and some people will tell you just how stupid you are and walk away muttering under their breaths, “Doesn’t have a brain”. �Not replying is one of them.

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So, we have established ‘not replying’ as an easily misunderstood but meaningful form of communication.�