So, six years ago, on this day, I married a guy that I fell in love with. We moved to Hawaii and decided to build a life together (at least I thought that's what we wanted).
Thinking about it right now, it's so odd the way I buried almost each and every memory of that horrible relationship. For a naive 24-yr-old that's far away from home life in Honolulu can be very scary. But I coped.
Four years into the marriage I accounted for all the warning signs, including the load of John's debt, and my health. Then I decided to rescue me and move on.
Move on I did. While divorce paperwork was on the back burner. During this time I met many a wonderful young military lad. There was this one particular one that I couldn't get rid of. He was always around, always dishing advise, always there... when I needed a friend.
I'd like to think he took a liking to me from day 1 that we met (which was February 07). Six months or so later, he began sharing with me of his intentions to buy a place and that he wanted me to move in with him. I think he didn't know what he was signing up for. I didn't either.
The divorce was finalized in Jan of 08. And I said yes to moving in with him. We've been dating for about 8 months now. We did survive a strong wind of issues, including my divorce and herpes, and we continue to survive smaller issues.
I believe my secrecy stemming from a humongous lack of confidence (a result of divorce-trauma) has caused my boyfriend (it took me a while to get used to referring to him as my boyfriend) to be wary of me.
And as much as he loves me, and I do love him back and more, I'm not sure about us. We're the oddest and at the same time the happiest couple I know. I'd be devastated if we broke up. I know he'd feel the same way. But chances are we'd just pick up and move on, and stay in touch with each other. Yep! We're never not every going to be best friends. And I pray, I do so very earnestly and sincerely pray that I can make all this man's wishes and dreams come true. Because he has been so good to me, eventhough I've not been completely honest with him.
This year our parents will get involved with this relationship. And soon, others that we individually know and care about. He's supposedly set to leave the islands in June of 2010 (2 years from now). So that's about how much time we have to make a decision. So let's see...
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