Prissy

 
    
13
Sep 2007
3:09 PM HAST
   

So, I'm certain i'm not ready to be family again. There's some deep-seated issues I can't really deal with. Part of me wants it to be like it was before when we were kids. But that can never be. There's always that stray word that hurts like hell, that strange tone of voice that resurrects old wounds like demons that have been asleep for years on end. I don't want to go there anymore.
I want to start over. I like being in denial of my past. Actually it's better than that. I choose to turn away from the past and move on to my future. I want to date, maybe someday have my own family, always being successful at work, never giving up on myself. It's so strange though, now and then when I get that phone-call (for whatever reason)and I'm back to feeling confused and stranded.
So I must find peace within myself for those things.
There'll probably be a part of me that will always be vulnerable to my family's words. But for the most part, I'm free now, I'm away from all of the hurt and pain. That's so sad that that's how i relate to them. That's how I remember them. It's all been hurt and pain. It's all been lies and back-stabbing. One out-doing the other in being hurtful. Jesus! That's all I can think of when it comes to family. That sucks.
Well that doesn't have to be the case anymore.
I could just not talk to dad and mom, and if I ever get married, give them an invitation, and just do the formalities. As far as Danny, I love him, don't really get along with his hench-people. But they come together, so that's the way I have to take it.

Tonight though, Dean asked me to go out with him, as in for a little while, as in be his you-know-what. Hmm.. Interesting. I think I'll go with it for a bit, and feel it out. Get to know him some, and take it from there.
We'll be a good team if all goes well.
Sweet dreams my child. Dream sweet. You deserve it. You've come a long way from being the hunted. The witches and warlocks aren't in sight. Walk on to peace, and comfort, and safety. Live with the butterflies, swim with the dolphins and nestle in rainbows. Don't forget to redeem your ticket for a pot of gold. And look, a scottish man has it in his hands.
Good night Journal.
 Add comment
Add Comment:

Add Tags:
To add multiple tags, please separate them with comma ( , )





prissy's Profile

  • Username: prissy
  • Gender / Age: Female, 46
  • Location: USA - Hawaii
    •  
     
     
    PRISSY's Interests:

    About Me: At 30, my life so far has been all about discovering myself and forming my own personal identity. One that honors my heritage, my family and my dreams. These days it's all about equipping myself for a future in the clothing business, while investing time in a prospective family life. Sometimes it's a balancing act. But I have a feeling, this is just the preview. So strategically, if I get good at this, the future is a breeze... ;)

    Interests: Computer accounting systems, excel, Websites, Mortal Kombat, TombRaider, Burnout, Yoga, RollerBlading, American History, Just hanging out with good friends and family.

    Favorite Music: Norah Jones, Sarah Mclaughlin, Maroon 5, Classic Rock.

    Favorite Movies: Iron-Man, Kung Fu Panda.

    Favorite Television: America's Best Dance Crew.

    Favorite Books: Psychology, particularly male and female psyche, Suspense novels.