Prissy

 
    
20
May 2007
6:15 AM HAST
   

Wow! I feel like I have a boyfriend (at least for a month). After that we might stay in touch until he's back next year. And yet there's so much negativity from the past few months that I've begun seeing other guys - I really don't know how to deal with it. It's like I am with compliments. The solution?.. just say thanks! So I'm just going to take it in, enjoy the ride. I think all the experience I've had so far is helping me be real with this hookup. I understand younger guys. I can totally roll. Though I must say between all the planning and processing and working shit out, I am kinda spent. And sometimes I feel like I'm about to keel over. Well hopefully this year cleans up a lot of stuff that's been sitting in corners of my life.I really just want to put familiar faces behind me and enter a new paradigm.Steven is gorgeous! Not just that he's almost perfect! I don't know.. it's almost to good to be true. I almost feel like I don't deserve this much happiness. I guess I have issues with trust and forgiving myself. I need to relax and let things wash over.I don't want to see Joe again .. not like that. It's such a waste of time, honestly... Don't want to see Chris... If Ty likes me I'll see him (that's if I'm not seeing Steve). I'll be friends with Ryan if he wants. Summer, if she wants to be friends. I gotta do badass. Can't be prissy and sweet with relationships. Soo not ready for that!I've got goals achieve, holes to get out of, and a life to build. I gotta do all this for me.. and maybe for Steve if we ever keep seeing each other. I could easily fall for him. I didn't for the life of me expect him to be that much younger than me. Here and there I can see his immaturity coming out.. but then I act that way too! I'm no big mama. We're all learning. But as far as him and I are concerned, he's the ultimate in human teddy bears, he's into me (I'm not sure to what degree, we'll have to wait and see about that one), and I wouldn't mind hanging with him for a while. Plus with him gone and us staying in touch through emails and phone calls until the year-end, that gives me time to process my craziness and be...OhmiGod! Ryan was right, I have a chance at love. It's unbelievable. But seemingly true. Ok! I have huge trust issues.
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prissy's Profile

  • Username: prissy
  • Gender / Age: Female, 46
  • Location: USA - Hawaii
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    PRISSY's Interests:

    About Me: At 30, my life so far has been all about discovering myself and forming my own personal identity. One that honors my heritage, my family and my dreams. These days it's all about equipping myself for a future in the clothing business, while investing time in a prospective family life. Sometimes it's a balancing act. But I have a feeling, this is just the preview. So strategically, if I get good at this, the future is a breeze... ;)

    Interests: Computer accounting systems, excel, Websites, Mortal Kombat, TombRaider, Burnout, Yoga, RollerBlading, American History, Just hanging out with good friends and family.

    Favorite Music: Norah Jones, Sarah Mclaughlin, Maroon 5, Classic Rock.

    Favorite Movies: Iron-Man, Kung Fu Panda.

    Favorite Television: America's Best Dance Crew.

    Favorite Books: Psychology, particularly male and female psyche, Suspense novels.