please6kill6me6's Journal

Sep 2006
10:13 AM EDT

Well. Things are better. Sorry I haven't written in ages. I've been busy. Life isn't that bad anymore. Because my dad emailed me and we started talking and I realized I need to look at the good things. And the good things are my friends. Today was James Hetfeild day. From Metallica? yea. Me and my friends either wore all black or wore a shirt with James Hetfield on it. yep. All my friends are metallica freaks. so am i. so i can't complain. hehe. tomorrow is aiden day, and December 8 is dimebag day. (daryl abbot- guitarist of pantera) Well. Social Services didn't fuck up my life. and. I uh.....there's this guy that i met yesterday. John. I see potential there. hehe. And Wes keeps looking at me during first. It annoys me. I want nothing to do with him because he reminds me of Tony. By the way. Tony emailed my ex. Len. They are fighting over me. Yay. I hope Tony doesnt think he can charm his way into my life by saying he actuallly cares. cuz he doesnt. Fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me. haha. Cody...I'm worried about him, he was crying two days ago...I don't know how to help him though because I don't know how to get him to talk to me. I might... write a note or something. I'm trying to get a job. And when i do. I'm buying a laptop. cuz i need one. more than anything i need one. I dont own a computer. but im one of those kids who love computers. so yea. I'm writing an essay on gay rights. so yay me! im FOR it. hehe. idk...things are better. but the minute i stop working or writing or reading, the minute i fall asleep, tony escapes into my thoughts. is that love? i dont even know if he loves me. thats the worst part. is not being able to talk to him, to ask him. "hey how do you feel about me?" i used to. but...he goes to college now. and...i can't call him because my parents hate him. and i have to act like he's a bitch. well i have to go... later peeps!!! -my trenchcoat mafia family rocks.

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Sep 2006
9:59 AM EDT

Yea well... life is really...it sucks honestly. I find myself wishing the day was over just so i can fall asleep, get knocked out, or...yea. I always spend my hours at school waiting for it to end and I spend my hours at home listening to Bullet for My Valentine and writing poetry. And. It's all because my heart is broken by Tony. I swear to god. I knew what was going to happen to me when I met him a year ago. But I didn't care. All that mattered was the fact he seemed to care.I ignored the fact that all he wanted from me was sex. I mean. My memories of him contradict the outcome. Do I make any sense? No matter. Cody is moving. ...And, idk. lol I have to protect Heather. Because Russ has a couple of secrets that I know. And I think that he's leading her on. How do I help Russell and protect Heather from him...when I trust him myself? Well I can't think of anything else to say. OH and Social Services come today. Because they think I'm depressed. And they think my stepdad is the cause. True. A little. But still. I don't want them to ruin my fucked up life anymore. Peace out yall.

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2 comment(s) - 10:04 PM - 09/26/2006

please6kill6me6's Profile

Username: please6kill6me6

Gender / Age: Male, 33

Location: USA

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PLEASE6KILL6ME6's Interests:

About Me: Well...I love music to that power... music is my life. My favorite band right now is 30 Seconds To Mars. I love metal, not the real heavy, but I like it heavy. I love "emo". Naw, in reality its just punk rock with feelings. I love hard rock, raprock, and...thats just about it. I love my friends to death. I hate talking, and I have an anxiety problem. But I don't have any medication, so I just deal. I'm terrified of crowds. And I hate speaking in front of people. But I'm taking public speaking, and Mrs. Hayes and my classmates are helping me not be so terrified of talking in crowds. Cool, huh? Strangers care enough to help. Hah! I'm in a group called the Trenchcoat Mafia, but I'm the only member who wears color every now and then. LoL. I love my dad, he's in Baghdad right now. Well, that's just about me.