morninglaurie's Journal

 
    
19
Aug 2010
7:05 AM EDT
   

Living in Poway

August 19, 2010 It`s been exactly one month since I have written. I am in San Diego (Poway). I haven’t gotten hired by The Poway Unified District….yet. I am going over there today to finish turning in my paper work, it really matters what Bill Chiment says and I am praying that he will remember me and hire me back. Bob left this morning and I have lots of emotions I am feeling at the same time….scared, excited to try it on my own, relieved that I am going to Living Way, abandoned because this house is sooooo important him, guilty and remorseful because I left his dream. Still what is done is done and I think I should try and do my best. Yesterday my Mom started pulling this routine of how a man feels when he builds his bride her dream home and it’s every man’s ideal to do that…..grrr. This is where my guilty comes in to play. But I would have died there….I already had my cherry pit plan in motion to end my life. If my life has no value, only Bob’s then what the heck am I hanging around for? So Clara says I will learn a lot about myself living alone (well Andy is here). The first thing I have learned is that I was taught to always think of the other person first, but it was never balanced with any kind of self-preservation or balance. So it was alright to be abused, cheated on or taken advantage of because you don’t want to hurt the other persons feeling……aha moment! How do I adapt this information….I don’t know! I start to today with Weight Watchers point count. I need to stay under 21 points.
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morninglaurie's Profile

  • Username: morninglaurie
  • Gender / Age: Female, 70
  • Location: USA - Indiana
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