morninglaurie's Journal

 
    
20
Sep 2010
9:15 AM EDT
   

September 20, 2010

This is not working for me. My God is Jehovah the god who provides, HE is the only way to move mountains. He came to me, I wanted to get to him but He came to me. There is or was a HUGE tree that fell into my spiritual life and the path and only HE can get rid of it, but I have to be willing and ask. I asked he sent lightning down and set this enormous tree on fire. I am STILL not strong enough to move it. But Jesus is standing with me and I saw the flood coming. I am not sure that this is a terrible thing at all, I think it’s a spiritual flood and the Spirit of God is going sweep it away downstream and out of the way completely and Jesus is holding on tight and we will wash up stream and then keep going. But I need and desire to walk only with HIM and trust HIM to move the obstacles in my life. There is no more my part and HIS part it’s just a friendship a love relationship that is day to day and I like it this way. If he gives me the things I have asked for then thank you but I still trusting my Lord and am glad for it. Let’s look for laughter and enjoy the walk through the stream and feel the water and coolness and smooth rocks under my feet and touch the lovely green leaves beside me and smell the woodsy air around me and mostly just feel HIM next to me. Thank you and I love you Jesus.
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13
Sep 2010
12:05 PM EDT
   

Sept 13th 2010

Ok it’s been almost two months….I put my faith and hopes in Jesus Christ. I came to San Diego with anticipation, excitement and joy at living here with my kids and grandkids, friends and beloved job. I got an apartment with son to help him out and then …..flop…..it all hit the fan. I have no job and my options are quickly diminishing. I asked Bob if there was any way I could go back to Indiana but he said no! What is the purpose of this? I trusted God to meet my needs and nothing…..I have almost no choice but to give up and just sit here. That’s next on my agenda. Sadly…do I continue with my part or just not worry about my part….I think I will continue with my part and still have a mustard seed of hope.
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25
Aug 2010
1:23 PM EDT
   

not yet and still waiting

August 25th I got called over to District office today to work on more paper work....I had to pay $27.00 for tb test and $20.00 for fingerprinting. I am supposed to get scheduled for a physical but they haven't called yet. The only thing I am worried about is the lifting test...I can lift and carry my grandchildren so I am praying that this will be ok. I got a call from the Grille this morning to go back to work and I could but nooooo I don't want to....Vickie said the new girl already quit saying the work was too strenous and yea I agree. I trust God that HE will put me back to work at the Grille and heal all connections,.
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19
Aug 2010
7:05 AM EDT
   

Living in Poway

August 19, 2010 It`s been exactly one month since I have written. I am in San Diego (Poway). I haven’t gotten hired by The Poway Unified District….yet. I am going over there today to finish turning in my paper work, it really matters what Bill Chiment says and I am praying that he will remember me and hire me back. Bob left this morning and I have lots of emotions I am feeling at the same time….scared, excited to try it on my own, relieved that I am going to Living Way, abandoned because this house is sooooo important him, guilty and remorseful because I left his dream. Still what is done is done and I think I should try and do my best. Yesterday my Mom started pulling this routine of how a man feels when he builds his bride her dream home and it’s every man’s ideal to do that…..grrr. This is where my guilty comes in to play. But I would have died there….I already had my cherry pit plan in motion to end my life. If my life has no value, only Bob’s then what the heck am I hanging around for? So Clara says I will learn a lot about myself living alone (well Andy is here). The first thing I have learned is that I was taught to always think of the other person first, but it was never balanced with any kind of self-preservation or balance. So it was alright to be abused, cheated on or taken advantage of because you don’t want to hurt the other persons feeling……aha moment! How do I adapt this information….I don’t know! I start to today with Weight Watchers point count. I need to stay under 21 points.
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morninglaurie's Profile

  • Username: morninglaurie
  • Gender / Age: Female, 70
  • Location: USA - Indiana
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