JUST ME

 
    
02
Apr 2012
11:41 PM CST
   

Questions From yesterday

  1. Did I fun walking the mall with Skye, Kayla, and Chris? The truth is I really didn’t. I felt completely unwanted (like always). Skye kept telling to go someplace or walk somewhere, and then when I did she would get mad at me for it and say I had to walk in front of her to keep an eye on me. When I protested she would say it was because I kept walking away. Then when I was walking in front of her she got mad because I was walking too fast. That is why I usually walk behind her, so I don’t have to worry as much on how she wants me to be. Skye was very controlling she kept telling me that I had to do things like sit somewhere or walk someplace when the truth is I just wanted to have fun and me a normal teenager for 1 hour and �. Kayla even told a Mexican guy that was passing by me that I liked him just to mess with me and when he looked back he looked disgusted.� Then there were 3 guys that saw us than ran. I told Skye that if we got close enough to them I would flip them off so when we were in the narrow hallway close to the cafeteria one of the guys were covering his face and we got 3 feet close to them and I flipped them off and kept walking. The guy who covered his head notice and yelled at Kayla. Kayla yelled back then Skye yelled at the guy also. After that we just walked in the cafeteria then left.
  2. Am I feeling O.K? Not really. I couldn’t really do anything at the mall.
  3. How am I feeling?Glad? A little, I am glad that I got to walk the mall. Upset? Yes, just look at the answer for question 28. Tired? Yes, I really am. When I walk the mall it always makes me really tired, and lately I have been tired anyways so now I am super tired.
  4. Did I start my ------ today? Yes, I kind of expected it after what happened yesterday with me freaking out and all. The thing is I still want to go stay somewhere else for a while because I think it might help.
  5. �Am I on the internet? No, all the networks are password protected so the only way to go on the internet from here is to get the network password from someone else with wireless internet.
  6. Why wasn’t I at the people hunt yesterday? �There are 2 reasons for that. The 1st reason is I got in trouble for what happened Friday for using Facebook to message guys. The 2nd reason is dad forgot all about the people hunt.
  7. Did I have fun at church? Yes, I got to see a guy I like in class today and for intro we played a game called Apples to Apples. Also we had a mixed class because the middle schoolers were in the Sunday school class with us today. Another reason is I won 1 round and got to judge 1 of the rounds, and today was the potluck for church.
  8. What do I think about this whole living situation thing between being at home and staying somewhere else for a while? I want to stay home, but I need some breaks. So I want to go somewhere else to stay for a while.
  9. Do I want to stay home and have mom and dad’s protection? Yes, I want to be able to stay home, but I don’t want all mom and dad’s protection. I want them to let me do things on my own and let me give my opinion on certain topics and things.
  10. �Can dad leave me home with the other girls without any problems? It should workout like that as long as no one provokes me or causes any problems with me.
  11. What was that guy’s name from church? The guy from church is named Chayne (Shane).
  12. Do I like him? Yes, but I only consider him a friend.
  13. �Do I have a crush on him? �Yes I do. I think he is sweet, very cute, and nice.
  14. Who was that boy sitting next to me in the sanctuary at the table and talking to me?� Chayne (Shane)
  15. Who was the girl I was talking to in the foyer? Her name is Katja (cot-cha).
  16. �Where does she live? I don’t know
  17. How old is she? She is 17.
  18. Does she have a job? I don’t know.
  19. Don’t I want to grow up?� I am starting not to want to anymore because of the things dad used to tell me when I was younger.
  20. So I am just giving up? No, not right now. But I feel like I am at the verge of giving up. This is just beginning to tear me apart into a million.
  21. Do I feel like I am a 3 ring circus? Right now I do. I have to� deal with school, sexual feeling, the people in my head, my aunt Kathy, Skye, the little girls, dad, papa, grandma, and just being me. All this is making me want to tear myself from the inside out.
  22. I didn’t flip you off while I was shutting your door, so what were you thinking?Skye you did flip me off right before you shut the door and don’t come in my room acting all gangster and ganging up on me like that.You know that I can’t break this promise to dad.
  23. Hey Linnea, what’s going on? Well this is completely off the subject, but do youknow about how I had sex with William?Well we had it 3 times and the 3rd time he raped me. Then last Friday I got caught Facebook messaging him. Linnea?! Why would you go off doing something like that? I don’t know why. I was just being stupid and a dumb---. So now I am in big trouble and parents don’t know what they are going to do with me. So back to the situation at hand Skye and the little girls are having problems and I just couldn’t handle listening to it again. Especially with everything going on with me and the messed up stuff that has been happening on the side.
Tags: 4/1/2012
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