itsjustme's Journal

Its Friday and I need a break for a change.

Maybe I'll go have a pedicure.�

I need to quit biting my damn fingernails and let them grow out again.� I'm ruining them.� I want them to be long for the wedding, not all nubby and chewed up!

Why does this wedding have to be so stressful.� My Dad is an ass for doing this.� I told him that He and my stepfather would walk me down the aisle and he totally freaked out.� My stepdad pretty much raised me not him...

So in the midst of all of this fighting, I decided to have my brother walk me, neutral ground.

Now my Mom is freaking out on me.� If my stepdad isn't going to do it than there will be no wedding...

Each say they aren't putting me in the middle, I'm ready to call this whole thing off I'm so frustrated.� This isn't fun anymore.� My fiance is ready to run as well.

Everyone just keeps telling me how I hurt their feelings.� I'm trying to do the opposite, keep everyone happy.� I never wanted to have this in the first place, we originally were going to go do it alone.� Then we started planning and all was going GREAT.� And then this...it pisses me off.

I am so pissed off at my DAD for starting this...Why can't he be an adult for one minute of my life!

What life experiences have given me a sense of fulfillment or growth?

Hmmm I need to think about that one...Alot has.� I probably need to really think about that, it would probably be good for me.� Lately I've just felt like I'm living in constant chaos.� And its driving me to act depressed and crazy like.� That needs to change.

Paranoid, Anxious, and Annoyed...

Why is this happening to me?� Could it be my little monthly friend knocking on the door?� Ahhhhh...these feelings seem to run my life sometimes

Sometimes I wish I could just go be alone with myself to work it all out...But, when that chance will come, I'll feel normal again.� It's moments like these, when your forced to put on your� happy face, while inside you feel like bursting into tears....

Mood Swings Suck!��

All the motivation and no resources...3:30 can't come fast enough today, it doesn't feel like Friday, more like a Monday. My computer hasn't been working at all today, I've been fighting my internet connection and can't even log into the office. I hope its just because of the weather. I have all this paperwork sitting here and I had all day to do it, and all the motivation, but no way to log in and do it. I need a new cord for my printer anyways, they gave me a printerwith no cord to connect to my comp, thus making it useless to me...go figure. I wish I could transfer my other office here. Going back and forth between offices kinda sucks right now. It will get better once I'm all set up out here. I can get more work done out here at least.

RIP Heath Ledger: What a tragedy, it's so sad...

I feel like I am way in over my head.

Why is it that when other people are in a bad mood or all stressed out, that somehow you become pissed off and stressed too? I was in a great mood this morning and now I'm just listening to people bitch. I hate that it's really annoying. I don't like to feel like I'm gonna step on someones toes. Get me out of the middle of this shit. It's stupid.

Oh wow I am so stressed. I keep feeling like I'm going to mess something up. I guess everyone makes mistakes though. I've been trying my best, but it's the end of the project and we are behind. Nobody's happy right now. Oh well, wish me luck :)

I am definetly not a fan of Mondays. I would so much rather be at home today. I can think of a million things I need to do. As for now, I'm just killing time at work. Not really anything for me to do today since people are on vacation.