emma's Journal

Nov 2006
7:01 AM EDT

my name is "Emma" you may call me Emma. i am ____years old and i live in _____, Kansas. my phone number is(___) ___-____, and i am not an idiot. i go to _____High school and i am in the __th grade. i am not a virgin, in fact it is a high possibility that i am pregnant. i have been smoking pot for 4 years, i have drinking for 6 years, and i have been smoking cigs for 4 years. i am a cutter...sort of. i promised my boyfriend i would stop if he stopped. my mother, whom i hate, has NO idea what i do in my "spare" time. she has no idea that i sneak out to get drunk and get high and make love to the man i love. she has no idea i'm no longer a virgin. my life is fucked up. i have been recently having quite a few thoughts of suicide due to the tragic death of me friends lives. 2 of my friend died in a drunken car accident on Friday, October 13th, 2006. my ex--that i loved with all my heart--, his father--who is legally insane--was his (while on his motorcycle) by an oncoming semi on the highway and died instantly. This friend OD'd on a Speedball approximately one month later. his sister killed herself by "playing" the pass-out game 2 weeks after that, and their mother who was best friends with my aunt, slit her wrists. Every REAL cutter knows, however, that you must walk UP THE STREET not DOWN THE STREET to do any REAL damage. i am sitting here in class doing something i'm not supposed to be doing...i'm masturbating. i'm kidding! that's nasty. not really...just don't get caught in public. use it as a way to make your boyfriend want you even more when you're talking to him on the phone. start masturbating while you're talking to him. tell him what you're doing and how good it feels. it will turn him on to know that you are pleasuring yourself while talking to him at the same time. it'll make him rush right over to see you! works every time! i get depressed really easily. a little advice from me to you...do not listen to Eminem's curtain call when you are depressed becaus eit will only make your shit even worse. believe me, i know from personal expierience. my mom is going to topeka today for job training and as a result will not be back until 5 or 6:30, which is way after my boyfriend and i get off of school. so i am going to make him come over and i am going to give him head and make him give me head. he LIKES giving me head though, so it's cool. just to let you know, i am a very open person. i am open about everything except where i live and people's names. i am open about sex and drugs and alcohol and everything bad like that. ask me anything. ask me how big my boyfriends dick is and i'll tell you it's 7 inches and getting bigger...for me. i might come back and write another entry later becaus ei do actually like this site. it's great for getting shit off your shoulders. i have been doing very good about not drinking lateley. i have been sober for a month and a week and i haven't cut for about 1 1/2 weeks. i haven't smoked in one day and i haven't gotten high in 4 days. my boyfriend, however, is not doing so hot. P.S. i cuss a-hella-mother-fucking-lot as well.

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emma's Profile

Username: emma

Gender / Age: Female, 33

Location: USA - Kansas