Mood: Good Mood / Happy / Little Worn Out
Weather: Sunny Spring Day
Time 515 pm
Relationship Ranking: 5
Entry 2
I knew last night Chris and I was going to have blows. Chris much like me is stubborn, can be very mean with his words, and at some point in the fight enough is enough. We hit the enough is enough point about 1 ½ after I got home last night. I admit I was pissed about Chris online sex account. He confirmed that he did hook up with dude (someone he has wanted to hook up for ever with), like that fucking matters. What I was more pissed about and I told Chris is last Thursday night he was suppose to be at home with me. The reason why, because the night before last Wednesday we had plans and Chris totally blew me off. For the same thing he does every time – to go to Thomas’s house. I told Chris that I thought he cruzed on Thomas’s computer and I was on to him. He said who cares and blamed me for fucking around 1st with other guys and brings it into our relationship. Which is true, I did get caught 1st, but I think he was doing the same and I am not trying to minimize the blame. Who knows, I think we both fuck around on each other the same amount. Long story short, last Thursday was suppose to be me and him, not some dude he spent an hour with, and came home because he felt guilty because of me. I said he feels guilty because I called and bugged him so much while he was trying to enjoy himself. And that I hoped he did not enjoy the experience. At that point he grabbed me hugged me, and we laid on the back bed room couch together. Last night was all about the make up sex. And we did plenty of making up. I apologized for being such a bitch, and if he communicated with me a little more I would not feel so left in the dark. I mean shit how my guys do you know that are going to be cool with their BF gone all night partying with his crazy friends
Mood: Down / Little Depress
Time 1130 AM
Relationship Ranking: 3
Entry 1
At this time on 2/28/07 Chris had his dick in somebody dudes ass. I know this because I did a search on Chris’s computer for new pics added in the last month. Per unknown name pic at 11:33 I saw a pic on Chris’s computer of Chris behind some guy, and the date and time corresponds with his Men4Now account left open. It was clear that on 3/3/07 Chris hook up with some other guy in the Castro per a last message sent to him was at 3:40. Dorothy called me on 3/3 at 4:30 (per my call log) and told me Chris had taken off about 4:25pm. I remember this night well, because Chris and did not spend any time together all of last week, and the Thursday night he was suppose to make up (Wednesday of last week Chris blew me off) it is clear he made up on some other dude and blew me off two nights in a row. I thought great, will spend time together over the weekend. Friday night I went into Chris’s room and that is when I saw the computer on and signed in. I did not think twice about looking in Chris computer. Chris already logged into M4M was a bonus. I went right into his sent mail. And read about 30 sent mails for two dates 02/28/07 and for 03/03/07. The last I read was mail sent on 03/03/07 at 3:40. I am not surprised Chris out acting like he is single. I am surprised he is turning out to be such a liar and bullshit is his middle name. On 03/03/07 my night of make up was put on hold for some dude with a shitty hair cut, and red tattoo on his arm. And to make up for it Chris leaving his computer on (usually he shuts it off, meaning he has been cru zing, that’s what I think anyway) Friday. So I started the weekend by reading Chris sent mail for the past two weeks on his m4m account and looking at two different sets of pics of guys Chris is sleeping with. 02/28 it was clear he was playing (and I mean playing) top. I really had no want to sleep with Chris other then to make him blow his load and ruin his night of tricking since he was going to Thomas. He faked blowing it, (not even a wet spot on the bed) and went into the bathroom. He was in there for 5 mins and said, shouted, “sorry for taking so long”. At that point I faked my orgasm just to get the disappointing experience over. The following morning, Today, I called at 4 am, again at 530 am – no answer. At 6:30 we connect as I am leaving him a message, because he decides to call me back. Thomas lost his keys and we been trying to get into the house for the past 2 hours. Hard to say if Chris is telling the truth or lying. I use to think Chris went over to Thomas to hang out and sometimes he does, sometimes that is. Many of the M4M sent messages were sent while he was at Thomas’s house. For real, the message was sent 2/28 when he was claimed to be “hanging” out with Thomas. And the biggest bull shit lie all of last week was for 3 days in a row, Chris said he was connecting with Thomas to go look at Thomas’s car on 03/03/07. Thursday 3/3/07 he said he was going to look at Thomas’s car in the impound yard, and Friday he told me the car was wrecked. Chris new it was wrecked and blew me off again. Plus a disappointing weekend dealing with his ex on my day off, and Chris working on Cars all day Sunday. Is it any wonder I did not answer my phone nor do I plan on calling Chris back, even though he left me a message. I admit I have an issue with Chris out having sex while I am working. He should be working. He says he is working, but I am finding more and more reasons to believe he is bull shitting me. See you tomorrow with high lights of tonight. Should not be much report even though Chris says we will spending tonight together. I am looking forward to see who he fucked last night. I am sure it was with some loser Sure to be documented in his pics on his hard drive, and the time will correspond with his M4M account. I hope this inspires me to start to disconnect from this awful lying relationship.
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