darkgal23's Journal

Feeling of fear is covering me.......

fear of losing someone.......fear of be hated by someone.......

i really scared tat there is someone who hates me........especially my best friend........

but if they really do.......i hope they can tell me "i dun like you anymore"�rather than to tell me "we r best friend" but acting like i am a toxic.........

so if u really dun like me anymore........please tell me by words�and not to tell me by act......at least i wun be tat hurt for u to tell and not for me to discovered my self......

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today........i really scared tat i will lose u........but i knew tat tat was my fault......

no doubt i�am�too active, hyper active.........everytime i play will cause many problem like heat ppl eyes or even their XX .........

and today........i interupted u in a serius case........

i�was so regretful..........but i knew there was nth i can do.......so tat i stood beside u and just looking at u........

after that, when i knew u were fine already......my heart calm down.......

and the fear starting to claw over me.........and then i just suddenly cry.......

u must be very nervous tat time........but i din meant to let u worried or let u felt regret to angry with me........coz i knew tat it was my fault........

then things became normal after i stoped crying........

but things�will never stay in the same places.........

i can feel tat u might have a bit of angry to me or feel that i am fussy already........

this is wat i truely fear.......

u r a very good friend.......a good listener, a good teacher and also a best best best best best best best friend of mine.........

but i know my self...........i know tat i am a person who is affraid of everythingm when it comes to my friend............

so it makes me become a fussy person.......concern this concern tat...... and finally........u might run away becoz of my fussy.......

i dunwan this happen........if u really dun like�me talk this talk tat or maybe u dun like one of my habits.......please let me know........although i will be sad......but please........

sometimes u will regret after u tell me the truth, coz it might cause my tears drop........but please.......as a friend.......u should let me know rather than not to let me know..........

maybe u will say inside ur heart tat "next time dun wan tell her anymore.......coz she�will definitely cry.......".............but please dun.........

this will ony give me the thought tat i am not wrong and the mistake will be repeating and repeating till it has never end.........

i dun�want u to pretend that u like me.........i dun like pretend........it makes me feel sad coz i cant even know ur thoughts deep in ur�heart..........

u r the ony one i really cares about, cares about wat u think of me.........cares about how u think of me............and yet cares about who am i in ur heart?

it is so complicated......

it is time to sleep now......very late d.........

}good night ar.........