auxilary25's Journal

Sep 2010
4:40 AM EDT

Back to Sqaure One

After everything we had overcome we're now back to not speaking to eachother. The court was on Wednesday and the only way I could get get the judge to understand why I don’t feel comfortable with time taking the baby is by saying everything that happened including him kicking the dog. Contrary to his belief I didn’t say these things to be vindictive and screw him. I did it because I want him to get help and realize that abuse is not fine even if it’s just with a dog at first. You get used to the idea of hitting something when you get mad that’s defenseless and perhaps one day you cross that line with a loved one.
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I’m sad because the judge ordered us to communicate. We have parenting classes we need to attend together and a DRs visit to discuss the formulas she needs to drink and the changes that will take place if the court approves unsupervised visitations. He’s supposed to visit her every day, I sent him a text asking him to coordinate with me that I’ll back off and give him space to be with her alone either in her room or the room downstairs but he didn’t respond.
He kept texting me the day before how much he loved me & missed me. He wouldn’t walk out on us but now because he didn’t get his way in court he’s going to have a temper tantrum and stop talking to me? I get it; I ended things the day before and told him how much better my life is when I do not love him. This is because every time I open up to him I find out he’s lying somehow and it tortures me because then I jump to the conclusion that everything he says is a lie.
I really don’t know what else to do at this point because we have a daughter together. I didn’t MAKE him do those things. I didn’t force him to kick the dog, I didn’t force him to drive fast, park, and get off leaving me in the car…so why get mad @ me for saying the truth??? Doesn’t he realize that at least I’m not inventing these things??
I’m leaving it in Gods hands. We’ll see if he eventually comes around like before.

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auxilary25's Profile

Username: auxilary25

Gender / Age: Female, 39

Location: USA - California

AUXILARY25's Interests:

About Me: I'm 21 years old and I'm a university student majoring in accounting. I'm in a relationship right now where I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. I truly have no doubt in my heart that this is the man that I want to marry because he completes me in every way. My only problem in this relationship has always been my bfs past. My mind is always going back to his past and comparing the love he felt for them to the one he feels for him. My insecurity has led me to believe that I'm not his 1st choice that he's with me because his "love" left him behind...it was 5 years ago but still the thoughts are there..hopefully through journaling I can get this feeling out of my heart so that our relationship can get stronger.

Interests: I love reading whenever I actually have the time. One of my fav authors is Jodi Picoult. I'm a big Harry Potter fan but unfortunately I haven't gotten around to finishing the last book eventhough I started a year ago.. I love my nintendo Wii and I can't wait for more games to come out. I love to work out 4 times a week because it helps me release my stress and feel good about myself.

Favorite Music: Ashlee Simpson, My Chemical Romance, Jessica Simpson, Daughtry, All American Rejects, Simple Plan, Plan White Ts...and the list goes on

Favorite Movies: Sweet Home Alabama, How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days, Grease, Crazy Beautiful, Beaches, What Dreams May Come, Dirty Dancing, Man on Fire, and Trison and Isolde.

Favorite Television: Brothers and Sisters, Desperate Housewives, Greys Anatomy, One Tree Hill, and FRIENDS!! Everybody Loves Raymond, I Love Lucy, King of Queens, My Wife and Kids.

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