auxilary25's Journal

Jul 2010
7:06 PM EDT

Shinning Light

3 months we've been separated... 3 months I've cried after I kicked you out wondering if I made a mistake and was too harsh on you. 3 months is all it took for you to steal from me, falsely accuse me of credit card fraud to cancel debt, request a DNA exam on a daughter you know is 100% urs because we even went to work together, and you stopped talking to me even tho YOU made all of these mistakes...During these 3 months you're only contribution to OUR daughter's necessities has been 1/2 the monthly daycare as if our daughter ate air and use the toilet...hello what about formula, baby food, diapers, wipes, DRs visits, clothes, and developmental toys to help reach milestones???

You told my friend you wanted to reconcile...you told 2 other friends u loved me, missed me and wanted our family back but you don't tell ME! I get excited like a dumb hopeless romantic thinking that perhaps you've realized the mistakes you've made....PERHAPS our family will no longer be broken...PERHAPS you'd have a heart and show remorse... Perhaps you realized how much I love you...

Then when you know I found out you stop messaging me...when I send you pictures you respond 2 days later even though you have the e-mail on your phone....so I'm guessing there's someone new in your life to keep u occupied that now you don't give a fuck! I hate you for the hell you've put me through...from making my heart happy after I was already doing better without you. Now like a dumbass I'm checking my phone waiting for your messages yet just like before there aren't any...

Today our daughter is sick...I message you to let you know and your response is..."OMG THAT'S TERRIBLE"????? WTFFFFF!!!!!! You keep saying you are a loving father and refuse to visit her at my home because I kicked you out so u see her once a week for 15 min @ the daycare...You want to be a loving father but you don't ask what can I do?? do you need anything??? you don't follow up with is she doing better???? You don't ask if I've taken her to the dr...is she on medication?? NOTHING...so in conclusion if you show this much love for your daughter who is your own flesh and blood then obviously you have no space in your heart to truly love me..

Today I rip you from my heart...I'll pray God will work a miracle on you and change your ways but I won't wait around for that to happen...I will continue to HOPE for a brighter tomorrow for my daughter & me.

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3 comment(s) - 10:21 AM - 07/22/2010

auxilary25's Profile

Username: auxilary25

Gender / Age: Female, 39

Location: USA - California

AUXILARY25's Interests:

About Me: I'm 21 years old and I'm a university student majoring in accounting. I'm in a relationship right now where I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. I truly have no doubt in my heart that this is the man that I want to marry because he completes me in every way. My only problem in this relationship has always been my bfs past. My mind is always going back to his past and comparing the love he felt for them to the one he feels for him. My insecurity has led me to believe that I'm not his 1st choice that he's with me because his "love" left him behind...it was 5 years ago but still the thoughts are there..hopefully through journaling I can get this feeling out of my heart so that our relationship can get stronger.

Interests: I love reading whenever I actually have the time. One of my fav authors is Jodi Picoult. I'm a big Harry Potter fan but unfortunately I haven't gotten around to finishing the last book eventhough I started a year ago.. I love my nintendo Wii and I can't wait for more games to come out. I love to work out 4 times a week because it helps me release my stress and feel good about myself.

Favorite Music: Ashlee Simpson, My Chemical Romance, Jessica Simpson, Daughtry, All American Rejects, Simple Plan, Plan White Ts...and the list goes on

Favorite Movies: Sweet Home Alabama, How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days, Grease, Crazy Beautiful, Beaches, What Dreams May Come, Dirty Dancing, Man on Fire, and Trison and Isolde.

Favorite Television: Brothers and Sisters, Desperate Housewives, Greys Anatomy, One Tree Hill, and FRIENDS!! Everybody Loves Raymond, I Love Lucy, King of Queens, My Wife and Kids.

AUXILARY25's Friends:
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