angelswatchoverus's Journal

 
    
29
Dec 2006
6:14 AM EDT
   

Lord, have much anger and resentment over my stepson. Help me realize just how imperfect I am, help me realize just how much I disappointed my own father when I was his age and younger. I would take money from my father when I was much older than he and blow it irresponsibly. I would lie and do deplorable things to satisfy my own desires and supress the guilt until the next time. My shame turned to anger and I still to this day drink to numb the pain I have inside. When I see my stepson, I become angry. I feel taken advantage of. I have had my feelings hurt by him so many times. I feel he is rude, disrespectful, greedy, self-centered, and at times hateful. With little or no remorse. Oh how I have emulated in the past these very horrible characteristics...and still do. I pray my heart will change. I pray to Lord that I will stop being a hypocrite. Lord, that when I am angry or upset or overcome with self-centered thoughts, that I would not project that anger to others. Especially my step-son. Jesus, reveal yourself to me today, fill me with goodness from the holy-spirit. Reveal to me the pain in which I caused my father on earth and more importantly, my father in heaven. Lord, help me use this disappointment in a positive way that would glorify your Kingdom. I want to know you, I want you to live inside of me. I want to know your Kingdom. I've made such a mockary of it for years and years. I want to know what it's like to truly be humble. I want to stand before you one day and for you to be proud. I ask you today father to set me free from the bondage I live in. I ask you to set me free from the principalities of this world. I turn all of my thoughts and personal things over to you today and forever. I want to live each day for you going forward. Set me free, oh Lord. Set me free to live in your perpetual peace. I love you Lord, I want to know you. I want to understand the magnitude of your majesty.
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21
Dec 2006
8:01 AM EDT
   

I feel the best when others treat and talk to me with respect. It doesn't matter if it is someone below me or above me. This question is somewhat broad as I expect differently from my own children than I do a normal stranger, a co-worker, my boss, or even my wife. People right now are starving for "real". What I mean is a genuine demeanor that doesn't hide the persons thoughts. I find this most of the time with a person who has a pure heart and keeps authentic goodness dear to their heart. When you speak to someone who is "real", you take likeness almost immediatly. It also instantly builds trust. It's hard to communicate with someone who says something and you can tell they really are hiding their thought life and true feelings.
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angelswatchoverus's Profile

  • Username: angelswatchoverus
  • Gender / Age: Male, 56
  • Location: USA - Georgia
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