TrulyMe88's Journal

Aug 2006
7:12 AM MDT

Sometimes in life we get caught up in bullshit and drama and life changes that we often lose ourselves in the midst of it all. We become people unknown to ourselves and our loved ones and find ourselves doing and saying things that once upon a time we would have never done or said. And we don't realize our actions aren't only hurting those that care about us but they're hurting ourselves. Sometimes we stray from our ordinary routine, and sometimes that is ok. But if you stray too much you find yourself in situations you don't know how you got yourself in and may not know how to get out of. Life happens and we all make mistakes and we sometimes take the hard road on purpose even when the easy one is staring us in the face. We don't listen, don't learn and then want to blame others because we're in too deep. And we are alone. And there are those who stick around through all the bullshit we put them and ourselves through and continue to lend their ear and offer advice. Wanted or unwanted. They are the people we need in our lives but we take for granted and sometimes take out our frustrations on, when we know, in all reality they don't deserve it. Its those people who truly care even though they try not to, get fed up and swear they're done... but when we make that call they answer. They sometimes say, "I told you so" and it's not like we don't deserve it, they tell the truth even when we don't want to hear it. We choose our own destiny, we are grown enough to make our own decisions, and it is our fault and our mess to clean up. There comes a point in all the chaos when reality sets in and this new life isn't the life we wanted for ourselves. We sit and think back to the friends we had and lost, the good, bad and really shitty decisions we made, the people we made laugh, cry and hurt, and all the drama. The nights we didnt need to be at the club or drunker than a bitch to have fun, the unnecessary 5 and 6 a.m.'s just to be out kickin it, and the people we chose to kick it with......for what? We didn't achieve anything, or anything positive. And that reality hits hard, we been fucking up, and we lost more than we gained taking this new path and we finally hit rock bottom stuck on a curb and it cuts so deep. All the questions, memories, reminiscence and time wasted on complete bullshit. And then think the bridges we burned? They'll never go back to the exact structure they were, they can be rebuilt, but it takes a strong mind and will to do so, and sometimes the bridges are burned and forgotten and we sit here thinking "if only I would have done different," we laugh, we cry, we hurt, we're angry and emotional, but we did it to ourselves and can blame no other, whats lost is lost, what we can salvage from the chaos we promise to try......so now what? We Change We remove ourselves from the negativity, surround ourselves in the positive and good and lean towards the ones who stuck by and watched and waited until we were ready to grow up and get our act together. The person we were and the person we became on that destructive path are complete opposites. How do we find ourselves and get back to "The Simple Life" when we were living this "Surreal Life"? See when all is said and done: we were selfish, self-absorbed, uncaring, unkind, and wildn out! That's not who we are. We made really bad decisions but its time to get our life back and we will in time. Everybody hits a spiral sometimes, but not everyone is strong enough to pull themselves out and weather the storm. For those who stuck by, we love and respect you, for those who didn't we're sorry we lost what we had, but we don't blame you. When you befriend someone and they are a certain way and then they make dramatic changes and you suddenly realize you don't know them anymore and you pull away, that's normal and that's apart of life. We hope one day you'll stop and remember who we once were and we hope you'll miss us, because we've missed you and you never left our thoughts. Time to discover a new path or make our own trail.

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TrulyMe88's Profile

Username: TrulyMe88

Gender / Age: Female, 36

Location: USA - Colorado

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About Me: Most Beautiful & Meaningful saying EVER "As we grow up, we learn that even the ONE person that wasn't supposed to let you down probably WiLL. You WiLL have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your bedt friend, and lose friends you thought you would always have. You'll blame a new love for things that an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose somebody you couldn't live without. So take too MANY pictures, laugh TOO much and love like you've NEVER been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend angry or upset is a minute of happiness you'll NEVER get back..." As a young adult I have more than found myself, I have accepted me! Being inadequate is balanced by my passion for music and creativity. Music releases me. It causes me to soar, to know that I can achieve if I believe. That's why I keep dreaming because I am there and it's all in reach... I just have to extend my hand and open the door. I know that I am not perfect but in my eyes I am as close as I will get, and besides I LOVE my imperfections it's what make me unique. However, there are still things that I need to learn ... one being to LiVE BY FAiTH NOT BY SiGHT. I lose sight and direction sometimes because everyone does but I can own up to and accept my mistakes with an open mind and willingly make a change for the better. I am more than dedicated to my feelings, emotions, and heart but if there is something that will help me progress in life, strengthen my spirit, and become a better person... I'm more than accepting of the idea. I know I will succeed and I won't stop until I do. The people closest to me are a compliment to my life and I thank God for them. Each and every one of them are truly a blessing. No one can ever stop me or bring me down and if you do, trust, it is only momentarily.

Interests: As a young adult I have more than found myself, I have accepted me! Being inadequate is balanced by my passion for music and creativity. Music releases me. It causes me to soar, to know that I can achieve if I believe. That's why I keep dreaming because I am there and it's all in reach... I just have to extend my hand and open the door. I know that I am not perfect but in my eyes I am as close as I will get, and besides I LOVE my imperfections it's what make me unique. However, there are still things that I need to learn ... one being to LiVE BY FAiTH NOT BY SiGHT. I lose sight and direction sometimes because everyone does but I can own up to and accept my mistakes with an open mind and willingly make a change for the better. I am more than dedicated to my feelings, emotions, and heart but if there is something that will help me progress in life, strengthen my spirit, and become a better person... I'm more than accepting of the idea. I know I will succeed and I won't stop until I do. The people closest to me are a compliment to my life and I thank God for them. Each and every one of them are truly a blessing. No one can ever stop me or bring me down and if you do, trust, it is only momentarily.