I was still afraid of the judgement I might recieve from people I do not and will probably not ever know on this site.
Well, here goes a public entry of my feelings.
I am really trying to change things about my thinking especially. Its working, but then again, something always comes up to get me angry and back to my destructuve negativity again.
SO what do I decide to do now? I decide to not give up and revert to bad habits like I did before just because I don;t see things working out right away. I am getting better though by not giving up. I'll come back later b/c I have dinner.