I am getting off at 2:00PM today. I am going to go pick-up the kids and take them out to moms with me. After we do a little swimming I am going to take them to get a bite to eat. I'm hoping that seeing the kids will take my mind off of Christy. I also miss them so much. I can't wait to see them everyday again. Another reason that I will never be back with Christy and that I need to move away from this mess that was once called love.
I have been submiting questions to anserbag.com. It's a pretty fun site. When you ask or answer a question all of the other members can rate, answer and comment on your input. Sometimes it can really be a lot of fun. Some days it can really piss me off. It passes the time during slow periods.
I still can't get her off my mind. Let me give you a breif history of the situation. I have been dating Christy for four years on and off. She lived in Tipp and I lived in Brookville(about 20 miles apart). In about November she decided to buy a house in Brookville. I moved in with her. We had an alright relationship through the four years. The best part was that we are both very sexual people and we both explored our fantises together. Anyway our kids did not get along at all and the dream soon became a prison.
We began to fight quite often and everytime that we fought she would end up throwing me out of the house. On May 26th 2008 she threw me out again and I decided that it was really time to leave. I decided to leave for the sake of our kids and ourselves. I arranged to move in with a friend. He said that he was counting on me to help him with his house payment. He only needed me to stay for 6 months to a year. Wouldn't you know it that as I started moving stuff out she started changed her mind. It was too late. There was nothing that I could do. I wanted so much to keep thevicious cycle going, but I was not going to burn the only bridge that I had.
So the next weekend I moved my personal stuff in BN's home and I was no longer sleeping in her bed. We would go out when neither of us had the kids and we would have sex. Strike that, not just sex it was the most passionate sex that we had ever had. Then at the end of the weekend I would go back home. We would still get into fights and other then the sex nothing really changed. Now we've decided that we need to back off a bit, which as much as I hate to say it, I agreed. But this last weekend I found out that she slept with a mutual friend of ours. Now every bad thought that I have always feared is rearing it's ugly head. How long was this being planned? Is this the only time? Did he give her anything? and on and on.... I slept for a total of 2 hours last night.
I have got to move on! I can't keep doing this to myself. I don't want my kids to see what I am doing to myself. There is no way that I can ever be with her again. I will never be able to trust her again. The worst thing is that I don't know if I can ever sleep with her again. So for that fact I have got to move forward and not backwards.
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