Me and�Eddy* got back together� on May and i promised him i would meet him on december. Things had been going really GOOD between us. He is the most adorable loving man. But i am a�not 4 him�and i never seem to be content with anything good in my life. I always have to push the envelope. I have made him prove over and over and over again that he loves me.
His love for me is not quetionable... not alot of NORMAL ATTRACTIVE HARDWORKING LOYAL LOVING�men would talk to a girl on the phone for 3 years without actually meeting them.
It's been a while.....it seems like i come running to this site when things between me and eddy are @ a down hill. I finally told Eddy the truth(well sort of) about me not meting him...he did not take it so well.
This time i won't shed @ tear (in pubic). it's like i am slowly dying inside(and i derserve it!!!) .
Now i have to go to my sister's wedding thats half way across the world. It will be good to get away......but one can't always run from there problems. It's wierd some part of me actually feels glad that i have told him. I had started to feel really guilty
I hate myself for what i am doing to Eddy but thank god it's almost over. I hope i have the strengh to make the right choice. He is a good man he deserves so much better than me
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