I should also be going to sleep now, have to wake up early for library/preschool duty you know, but it's only now I'll get a bit of privacy and time alone when eveyone's sleeping. I should be mature and go apologize to mom, and make it up to her, even if it wasn't entirely my fault. I should practice my flute and finish my other assignments. I should stop sulking and forgive�Dad and get over the scolding yesterday. I should join youth again. I should be more motivated to do everything. I should be more reliable. I should not talk back. I should be more responsible. I shouldn't be so easily irritated. I should send Grandma and Grandpa a letter - with photos. I "should" choose a career that is "good", "well paying" and "approved by asian parents" and "teachers with high expectations" I "should" work harder...because apparently, it's not enough, because I'm not doing all I can. I "should" quit musical theatre because it's causing me to be so busy, that if I continue to do it next year - while in the full IB program - I'll have no time and my marks my drop! Also, it troubles my dad to drive me places all the time! I should be more considerate, less self centered, and more Christ centered so I cabn better love people. I shouldn't be so childish. But I am still a child, right? Or perhaps not. I "shouldn't" even be considering advanced acting or taking drama 20 or musical theatre! because...well, I "should" take all the important stuff first, and when I'm "done" I can take the fun stuff. Like when would that be? After I graduate?!! I want to take it now for a reason! Its HIGH SCHOOL...ugh. Just because *certain people* don't appreciate the arts, doesn't mean I have to follow. I should be more like "so and so" I "shouldn't" be like those�kids. I should speak up for what is right, and for myself. I shouldn't procrastinate, and should manage my time wisely. I should...I should... I should care. But sometimes...I don't. I want to do something with my life; I want to change the world! But it seems so difficult at times, like everyone is against you. I'm sure I'll be fine...it's hurting inside...and I can't let anyone know...but I'll make it through. Christ lives in me, Galatians 2:20 I can do anything with God on my side. I'll be okay, more than okay if he's planning my life. Thank goodness I still have him to rely on.
Add comment
